Guys, How do you get a guy to want you for you instead of your body?

It seems like all guys want me for is nudes or sex or hookups. I try to explain that the farthest I want to go is making out and when I mention that they seem to become uninterested. I mean how do I get a guy to like me for who I am instead of what I can do sexually? HELP!


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18

Most Helpful Guy

  • you have to try for different guys... Which I know can be tough. One of my best friends in the world is this girl, she is very tall, blonde, thin big boobs whatever you can think of. she is commonly referred to by my other friends as my 'tall blonde sexy German friend'. she has the same problem, she hates hookups and casual things. she likely has a date with a new guy almost every week, and it never goes beyond a second date because they are all as described by you- jerks, only interested in sex etc.

    the real problem is, the guys who have the confidence to approach very attractive women are usually dicks. Where as more down to earth guys such as myself (I am by no means very attractive, just average but still level headed) either assume girls like that are dating someone, not interested in dating, or won't find them attractive enough to say yes, so why bother with the humiliation?

    Just give it some time, I only recently discovered, with observing my friend, that a guy like me may actually have better odds with a girl like that because it is such a breath of fresh air. until then, all I can recommend is to ask guys out yourself, and don't wait to be approached. Also you are under 18, so just wait some as even guys such as myself at that age really aren't interested in girls as a relationships lol

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What Guys Said 17

  • Guys, women included, do crave sexual attention. But when that primal instinct has consumed your life, and a relationship, it turns rotten. Like anything, what should be considered really good and beautiful get's warped into something else. This is a sickness of the mind that a lot of guys have to deal with, and while some remain noble and true to themselves and women, a great deal of men out there lose all concept of what a man really is. I asked my father when I was in was 10 (maybe 11) why so many people treated each other so badly. Noting from sisters relationships, school violence, and media. He told me that people are naturally good but change that nature. I asked what we could do about it. His words still echo in my mind to this day, "Protect the innocent." For years I had no idea what he was talking about. Then the day came when I was in a position of taking advantage of a girl, so I didn't. I wanted to be something more, be a better person. The worst things people do is to each other. So I'm saying to you, that this guy you're seeing, and that goes for any guy, who is only looking for a physical connection is not a good person to be around. We were meant for more than this. Meant to be better, treat people better, and you deserve better. A guy who is interested in your mind just as much as your body. And he's out there. There are a lot of good guys out there who know how to respect a girl's virtue. If you want that guy, and just because a guy wants to sleep with you doesn't make him undatable, just make sure you hold out and make it clear you aren't ready for sex yet. A guy who does respect you, who is worth of you and your time, will honor your wishes. You aren't alone, there are a lot of girls out there looking for a good guy. Not every guy thinks like me, and I even have friends who think sex is the only thing women can really provide them. They are short sighted about what a women really is. The other half to our whole. The person we can trust when everyone else has abandoned us. I am religions and find something sacred and holy between two people who love each other, completely. Cast your net and look for guys in a variety of places and date a lot. Sift out the bad ones and find the good ones. You won't know until you get out there and really look for them, because I know they're looking for you too.

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  • It's getting harder and harder, because the world is skewing more and more toward hookups and casual sex. I think it's sad.

    That said, it sounds like you know you're worth more than that, so the best thing you can do is stick to your convictions. Guys in the (Under 18) category are unfortunately going to be that way. Heck, some guys in the 20-30 range are still that way. Just don't give in, you've got plenty of time to find the right guy.

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  • You just gotta find the right guy. There are still some out there that will love you for you

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    • It's like... I think I find the right guy and I fall for him and he ends up just like the rest.

    • I'm sorry. But keep looking. They're not all like that

  • listen to MrRythem , I can't add to what is already correct

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  • Start by looking in the right places instead of the wrong ones. Then try to attract the right ones. Maybe guys find you really hot and that makes them very sexually attracted to you without being interested in your personality. Try to meet guys with same interests as yours. Try down dressing if you have too and don't wear too much make up. Hope this helps.

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  • Sex is necessary in a relationship however if you are dressing in a way that is very revealing it may be sending the wrong message. Try dressing more conservatively.

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  • By being yourself. if the guys tries to get too close too fast. You back off, and tell them not ready yet. If someone is in love, he/she will have patience and will wait.
    It takes some time to know who you are dating exactly.

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  • It happens bc maximum guys at teenage just think of sex after all every guy isn't like me 😂😜 lol
    Wait talk to guys if they just need you for sex then find someone else... Try any one you might find Mr Right 👉

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    • lol like I don't understand... This kid legit asked me out on Friday and I said yes and he hasn't talked to me since

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    • That was rude 😶 and sorry if I did anything wrong

    • @Asker hi there. From what I understand you have blocked @hotstuffSRD but he has asked my help in clarifying the fact that whatever the reason you blocked him for was probably just a misunderstanding. He didn't mean to offend you or hurt your feelings and he feels sorry for things being this way. He said it doesn't matter if you talk to him or not, just that he asks for forgiveness.

  • You don't try to change those guys. You try to meet a different sort of guy.

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  • I usually say Looks attract and personality makes them stay.

    Maybe you need to improve on your people skills

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  • I see. First of all you should remind that sexual activity does ot determine a real love. Then uyou sholud try to avoid campy behaviours be natural and wait you will see that a real love found you

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  • Love is just an illusion

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  • Just be yourself. If he never does then someone will

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  • DATE A NICE GUY!!! nah i don't know im the worse for dating advice

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  • You're attracting idiots.

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  • I feel your pain. Personally, you'd be my type of girl and if you want, you can kik me at abedave1610. Answering your question, in society today, hookups are becoming more common than real relationships. To tackle this issue, you either ought to do what guys request and then hope it can go further from there OR (better choice!) you can wait for the right guy who WILL accept you for your personality, not JUST your body. Sorry for the caps by the way lol! College, coffee shops, and gatherings are all good environments that you may be likely to find such men but remember, the REAL MAN is hardly a mile away.

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  • Find a guy who doesn't want sex right now. They're out there but they're rare. The way thing to do would be to jut straight out ask what they're lookin to do but obviously that's pretty scary because then that shows you like them. You have to ask yourself if they're worth the risk? It's not something I can answer since I don't know the guy

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