What is going on in this guy's head?

i have a guy friend that i've known for several years. one of those things where we're never single at the same time. i've dated a couple guys while knowing him, and he's gotten sucked back into a relationship with his ex. throughout it all, we've kept in contact.
finally, we both found ourselves single. the only problem is that after his last turn through the wringer with his ex, he has sworn of monogamy, and i have decided that i'm sick of dating men who can't take me seriously. it was really not a stressor at first. we talked and decided that because we want different things, it was best to not pursue anything romantic. we continued to hang out and have movie nights like always, with no cuddling or psuedo-couply stuff.
i dated someone new for a little while, and my friend began asking vaguely mocking questions about the status of our relationship, and teasing me about my new "boyfriend". he began offering to do things he patently refused to do in the past. example: he HATES riding with a passenger on his motorcycle, but suddenly said he'd make an exception for me since i was his "friend".
i have since dumped the new guy for reasons having nothing to do with my friend, but something still feels... different. he's started texting me more, and drawing me into hours long blatantly flirtatious conversations. if i text him, he responds, or if he misses a text, he'll appologize when he sees it.
the thing is, i know he's still seeing multiple women, despite the fact that he claims to be "bored" with endless casual sex. i'm happy to be his friend, but i've made it clear to him that i respect myself too much to be drawn into a relationship that is purely based on sex. i have the sense that if i DID give in at this point, he'd shuffle me in with the rest of his conquests. i'm frankly burnt out on dating right now, so should i just take a hiatus and wait for him to realize that there are clearly unresolved feelings there?


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What Guys Said 1

  • "i dated someone new for a little while, and my friend began asking vaguely mocking questions about the status of our relationship, and teasing me about my new "boyfriend". he began offering to do things he patently refused to do in the past. example: he HATES riding with a passenger on his motorcycle, but suddenly said he'd make an exception for me since i was his "friend"."

    ^i guess here he meant more than a friend... if he really hates it as u say... then i guess he'd not let just a plain friend to ride...

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    "i have since dumped the new guy for reasons having nothing to do with my friend, but something still feels... different. he's started texting me more, and drawing me into hours long blatantly flirtatious conversations. "

    ^yeah clearly now he sees u r available so he decided to give it a try... many guys tend to hit on gals who come just after a break-up... since they beleive they r more "easy" when it happens!

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    " i know he's still seeing multiple women, despite the fact that he claims to be "bored" with endless casual sex. i'm happy to be his friend, but i've made it clear to him that i respect myself too much to be drawn into a relationship that is purely based on sex. "

    ^i'm afraid here he's seein u just as another one of those gal he's hookin-up wid :|

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