How do I not be too nice?

Whenever i meet a girl at school I become a "doormat" which means I become too nice. I don't want to be too nice, but it's hard not to be because i'm afraid of the consequences. I'm afraid of someone calling me worthless or ugly as fuck or some shit. I've been called that before and I don't want to experience it again so do you guys have any advice?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • The thing with being "too nice" is that you don't assert yourself. If you want something out of a relationship, most healthy people would be happy to accommodate you.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • You need to improve your confidence. That is why you are allowing people to walk all over you. It isn't because you are "too nice" as oppose to you being afraid of what others will think of you. Improving your confidence isn't easy, but it is the only way to fix your problem.

    Gaining confidence in who you are is difficult. Most of the people that tell you to have confidence are just brushing you off, or don't know how to help you. They never actually tell you how to gain confidence, and instead just act like you should flip a switch and become something you are not.

    My advice is to figure out what is causing you to lack confidence and try to improve yourself in those areas. Self improvement is very important here. If you feel stupid then learn something new, such as another language. If you feel weak, then work out and gain some muscle. If you feel people will make fun of you because you are poor, then work towards having a good paying job someday. While you shouldn't try and become something you are not, you should always be trying to become a better version of yourself.

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What Girls Said 0

The only opinion from girls was selected the Most Helpful Opinion!

What Guys Said 4

  • There is a difference between being a 'nice guy' and a 'good guy'. Nice guys

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    • caputulate to women's whims. They are afraid to lose the women he is with. He has almost no leardership ability. Lacks confidence (this is a big one). And has thinly-veiled ulterior motives.
      A good guy treats all women well, no matter how attractive they appear to him. They are not focused on hooking up or getting some for women. Takes charge. Has options and has high standards.
      The main difference between the two is one is a guy who girls would never want to be more than friends with, while the other is a gentleman who earns the respect of people around him.
      (Sorry, cut myself off hitting the submit button on accident)

  • It's not a matter of being nice, because you can be nice AND charismatic and be loved by everyone you speak to. If you are struggling, just act disinterested, even if you are interested, this way you are not letting your guard down and can talk without pressure.

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  • Put yourself first 100% of the time. Don't give a crap about what other people want or need and look only after yourself. People will respect you and women will be lining up to date you.

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  • When you find out tell me. I'm sick of being told I'm too nice

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