Men do your personal relationships change when you enter an LTR?

The guy I'm dating has spent more of his adult life single than in a relationship. Now that he is at the point to be ready to be in one we have some disagreements over things I think he mainly doesn't know or isn't used to about being in a relationship.

Would most of you agree certain aspects of your personal life do shift a bit when you are in a relationship and if so which ones?

Recently we had plans to go on a boat with his friends but they didn't have enough seats for me so instead of telling me and either not going or me telling him to go on without me he just went and acted like we never had plans. Basically after some back and forth I let him know that when you are in a relationship sometimes you have to put what is best for the relationship ahead of what you want to do. And that parts of your life change a little once you get into a serious relationship/ He hasa girl friend I haven't met and I said I'm cool with them being good friends but I need to meet her. I don't have to come everytime they hang but if she is a close friend then of course she is someone I want to get to know. Basically simple incorporating one another into each other's lives kind of stuff.

Does this sound reasonable? What ways have you seen your life shift once entering into a relationship? We are both busy and independent people. I know it is healthy to have time apart and interests to ourselves.


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What Guys Said 1

  • "Would most of you agree certain aspects of your personal life do shift a bit when you are in a relationship and if so which ones?"

    ^sure... and that's y i'm single by choice actually.. i know u should change many things when u enter in a relationship... sometimes u should make a "U" turn

    anyway...

    "Recently we had plans to go on a boat with his friends but they didn't have enough seats for me so instead of telling me and either not going or me telling him to go on without me he just went and acted like we never had plans. "

    ^so he ignored u actually... i believe he should tell his friends "sorry but i should ask my girlfriend first if she's ok wid it then i'll come"... that's wot i'd do at least.

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    "He has a girl friend I haven't met and I said I'm cool with them being good friends but I need to meet her"

    ^right... she might be more than a friend to him... and he might be hidin it ;)

    anyway u sound logical... so no worries ;)

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    • Thanks for the response. Good on you for not being in one because you aren't ready for the change. I think some guys think they want a relationship but don't when they realize what maintaining one takes.

      The boat thing was definitely shit on his part. It was selfish and he admit he didn't think it through, I don't think we will have another repeat event like that one.

      The girl is the one remaining thing to be sorted. I don't understand why men hang around a girl hoping things will change for YEARS. Mean while life is passing them by. I hope this isn't the case but thanks for the vote of confidence on my rational. He characterised the situation as, 'trust issues'. The thing is I don't usually have trust issues so when my gut is telling me something is off it is hard to ignore.

    • u r welcome :D

      glad to know he won't repeat sth similar like this boat thing... but now about his female friend... if he always avoids introducin her to u... then he must be hidin sth i'm afraid :|

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