Why is it so hard to find a girl that messages first?

In a relationship there is nothing I love more than when a girl texts me first. I love seeing that she actually wants to talk to me of her own accord, and yet, for me it rarely happens even when I know for a fact that a girl likes me. Can someone explain this please?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • You know how you like to be messaged first? So do we. A relationship should be a give and take - you should both be taking the initiative.

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    • Ya but that's the thing. I never get messaged first. It's usually me starting the conversation

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    • If you don't communicate your needs to someone, they're going to assume that you're fine. So... Maybe you haven't found the right person yet, but maybe you're not a good communicator either.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Some people feel like they're bothering you even when you say that they're not a hundred ruined

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What Girls Said 5

  • If I'm just starting to date a guy I'll hold off messaging first until I know him better to see if he's a 'chaser'. You know, the one that likes to persue but quickly gets bored if you act too interested too soon. Once we're past that stage I don't have to worry about being the one who texts first.

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  • I met a guy recently in a bar and text him first but if you read any advice on the internet it says girls should never text first as it makes you look desperate. I didn't really care as this was just for a hook up and I knew that I did not want a full on relationship with this guy, so I thought what the hell, I've got nothing to lose. If I wanted something serious I would play a bit harder to get

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  • Really? I'm in the exact opposite situation.

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  • I don't text or call my male friend first, because I'm afraid he will think I'm bothering him, pestering him, or being clingy (spelling?)

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  • i have never been in a relationship, but i have been on dates with guys. And the reason i want them to message me first is so that i know that they find me attractive, this goes for the first date, before the second date i want him to message me first again so that i know he find me interesting and likes to be with me.

    For me i need to know where i got the guy before i make an effort and start messaging him first and asking him out etc. But im insecure.. other women do it for other reasons

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What Guys Said 0

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