Shouldn't Couples Be Friends Before Entering Into a Romantic Relationship?

At least that's what I believe. In my opinion, you won't know if you're compatible to be romantic if you guys don't have that friendship foundation first.

I had an exboyfriend who believed the total opposite. He didn't think it was right or would work out if friends got into a more intimate relationship because it would ruin things and you can't get that friendship back.

In a way i agree with him because i have dated some of my best guy friends and it ended miserably... we ended hating each other's guts. But then i told him that if you and that friend are meant to be, it's inevitable of u two coming together. I know this because that's what happened with me and my current Boo. We started off as close friends... then for some crazy reason, we ended up getting closer and more attached to each other, so we adopted each other as siblings... then we just kept getting closer and more personal and we finally had to realize that we loved each other more than sibs should have, so we got together. That was in March 2015 and we're still very much in love and going strong.
So what's u all's opinion on friendship being the foundation of love? Should u date ur best friend or leave it alone?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I agree it's best to be friends first with someone and then let it build into something more serious.

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    • Mhm, yep i always knew u were awesome Lol

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    • That's a sweetly sad ending

Most Helpful Girl

  • Yep. I want my boyfriend (when I stop being afraid to get one) to be my best friend... or at least one of them. I want to have the same friendship with him as I do my actual best friend (he's a guy and we are super close). Lol, I don't want my actual bff, but when I get a boyfriend I want to have the same kind of relationship as I do my bff. You should date your best friend. Take a risk. It might just be totally worth it. I don't want to be so intimate with someone I barely know. Been there, done that and it wasn't a very good relationship. Friends first and lovers later. :)

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    • I agree with u all the way, chica. Your lover should always be your best friend. Everyone else is secondary.

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    • Yeah, I'm not saying they won't, but I'm not sure they will last. He even asked me multiple times whether or not he should ask her out (and I mean like up until the day he did ask her out - my approval was very important to him) and I told him no. It wasn't because I wanted him all to myself, but because she's moving far away and entering into another part of her life while he is still stuck in senior year of HS (my age is incorrect, I'm 17). She's going to college and he's not and she's going to be 3 hours away from him and they only started dating in May. It's just not a good idea. Everyone doesn't believe they will last long. :/

      I know that your other half is supposed to be your best friend, but everyone always changes the rules when it comes to opposite sex friendships. If it was a girl best friend, then she'd still be considered my best friend despite me having a boyfriend, but since it's a guy it's like he can't be my best friend just for that reason. :/

      It is evil what those two

    • are trying to do and for the moment they have succeeded. His bf's best friend who I used to think was my friend also has totally flipped the script on me. One time, I went to a party which he, his girlfriend (A) and her bff (B) were also attending and I hadn't see my best friend in a while. We sat down and were having a long conversation (he came to me first) and A was off talking to other people. B was sitting near us while we were talking and kept on interrupting our conversation saying things like "Shouldn't you be over there (pointing to A) with your girlfriend?" or "You know, I was your biggest advocate to get you guys together and I'm going to make sure it stays that way." That second comment was a dig at me because she knew how adamant I was against him and A getting together. She wanted to throw it in my face that she won the battle. Did I forget to mention that he and I were also accompanied by my sister, so B was just being a real bitch.

What Guys Said 8

  • Here is what I have figured out: You can take the hottest man on the planet and the hottest woman on the planet, and give them kama sutra lessons so that they are the most amazing lovers on the planet, and they will get tired of fucking each other within a year or two tops, and their relationship will become sexless. This is why it is important to have a little something called COMMON INTERESTS that you can both enjoy together because sex is a terribly weak foundation for a relationship.

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  • In a romantic relationship going with people you know and/or have already connected with somewhat (friends) is a very good idea. But in today's society people tend to date for sex, money (gold diggers), attention, or just for the sake of being able to feel there's someone important in their life.

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  • It's not an option actually. It will never be serious and worth living without friendship union.

    It blows my mind people that marries only because they are a couple sharing a bed.

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    • Ikr? Exactly! It's really a commonsense thing. When all else fails in the reli, there will always be that foundation of friendship to go on.

    • And the probability of fail may be very low, if friends.

    • Mhm. True. I wish everyone knew and understood this.

  • I would prefer to date someone I don't know since I wouldn't want to ruin a friendship.

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  • i think you should defiantly have sex first, before even knowing or speaking to each other. that way nothing can go wrong.

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  • I completely agree. My wife is my best friend and has been for years.

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  • I strongly agree! Best friends make best couple. I want to have something like that :)

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  • I would really love to be friends first with the women I like, but unfortunately that's not an option for most men, due to women's tendency to 'friendzone' men who start out as friends.

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    • I see what u mean. I think guys risk more than us women do when it comes to dating.

What Girls Said 4

  • Funny I was best friends with my boyfriend before we started dating back when I was like 16 17 ish we were both in relationships at the time too. Really good friends and when our relationships didn't work out we started hanging out more and got really close. It will be 8 years at the end of the month. So yes I highly agree with what your saying. I'd rather be dating my best friend someone I know will have my back who I trust and who I can be my self out front of.

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  • That's how I work, but other people like to keep their romantic relationships and their purely-friendships strictly separate. To each their own.

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  • It is but it can be rather difficult

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  • I agree, friendship is the best foundation for building a relationship on.

    People mess it up, when including sex because secretly one of the people was never a true friend, instead they just wanted to get close to the other person to get with them. That's how they can just throw the friendship away afterwards.

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