Inviting your ex to your wedding?

After 2 hours of intense arguing, I agreed to invite my fiancé ex to our wedding. When she received the invitation, she called my fiancé and they talked for almost 3 HOURS. That made me extremely angry and I told him that I did not want her at my wedding anymore. He then got mad, and said that I controlled everything about the wedding and all he wanted to do was invite an old girlfriend and I couldn't even let him do that, then he called me selfish, and left. I don't want Her at the wedding but I don't want to lose my fiancé over it.. Do you think it's weird to have an ex at your wedding? Or am I overreacting?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I guess he would need to tell you why it was so important to him. Does he still have feelings for her? If so, he's worth losing, at least until he sorts out those feelings. You're going to be stressed out enough on your wedding day -- he should realize that this will add to that stress.

    That being said, it's really up to you. He did choose to marry YOU, not her, so that should give you some self-assurance. He does, as I said above, need to talk about why it's so important to him, and why he feels the need to talk to this person for so long. After you're married, does this mean that he's going to be inviting her over to your house to visit? All of this needs to be discussed. I wouldn't be OK with that, but I'm male, and I definitely wouldn't want someone who's seen my wife naked besides me hanging around.

    You need to set your own ground rules if you decide it's that important to him, and if he doesn't agree, I'd put things on hold until he thinks about it. Things like -- no dancing with her at your reception. No catching the bouquet or drawing attention to herself. This is YOUR day. You are being understanding and civilized by inviting her, but she has no right to take anything away from you.

    Bottom line: if your fiancée is that freaked out about not inviting his ex, you need to find out why it's so important to him, and if he cares enough about you to want to marry you, he should be mature enough to have a discussion about it without walking out. But remember -- that means no yelling on BOTH sides, so be prepared to control your anger.

    Good luck.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Tell this so-called 'SO' which is a Supposed a 'Soul mate,' that if he plans on walking down any Aisle with you, a so-called "Almost wife,' to Dump this bright idea of Inviting 'An old girlfriend,' or he will be left standing at the alter With... No bride in sight.
    I find it 'Weird' that he feels She should be there on Your Special Day here, dear. I do Not know What motive in mind that he has in his Muddled lame brain but he better ditch it or end up in the dog house, with barking up your tree with thee.
    It's Not to Late with your mate to Cancel Her out with your own RSVP. And if he Continues down this boyish bad behavior problem path of having this hissy fit, making it a War of the Roses, Better now for Worse to find out Before the honeymoon than After About Someone you thought you really knew but Really... I Do Not.
    He Needs to give this Ghost Away or Suffer the Consequences of Possibly Throwing the bouquet at hand, which is You, to Someone who may be more Deserving than Him.
    Good luck. xx


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • That's kind of odd and I can see why you wouldn't want her there, unless you suspect something is going on between them then don't make a big deal out of it though. He is still going to marry you, and he's going to make her watch you kiss him infront of everyone. If anyone should be jealous it should be her, right?

    Some people stay friends after they break up I guess

  • I certainly wouldn't. Why should an ex be at your wedding

  • Fired... Ex shouldn't even be in the picture.


What Girls Said 3

  • I am totally against having exes at your wedding you are starting a new chapter of your life people of the past should not be there to witness it. Weddings are for family and close friends to share it with. Out of respect if you don't want an ex there then your fiance should not have issues with that. You should not be arguing over an ex, so you need to look at the bigger picture here? Why does he feel that this person is so important that they have to come and that this person being there is worth the two of you not being happy on your special day. He is being selfish and I don't want to put any ideas in your head but last year my ex contacted and we exchanged emails ad I felt uncomfortable talking to him because he was telling me that I kept crossing his mind so he wanted to know what was going on in my life so I basically let him know that whatever his intentions are, I'm not interested it wasn't until I rejected him that he brought up the fact that he was getting married and that he was not trying to get me back but wanted to invite me to is wedding. All of this was going on while he was on vacation with his bride-to-be. Why was I crossing his mind when he was planning on spending the rest of his life with someone else? "Find out next time on Dragon Ball Z" Just kidding but seriously I was the one that got away and they never made to the alter because I was not the only ex he invited there was another that he actually was still seeing. If you lose your fiance over this, trust me he is not worth marrying. Do not sacrifice your happiness for having this women here. If he can't understand where you are coming from on as issue like this, imagine the problems you can have after the wedding. This is about respect not control. You need to evaluate your relationship if he truly feels deep in his heart that he wants to share your union with this women and figure out why she is so important. For him to talk to her for hours that is suspicious he is dodging the issue and making it your fault he does not see your side.

  • I don't think anyone who used to have sex with either of you should be there. Tell him he can pick out the band instead :)

  • Inviting an ex all I can say is WHY?