Has anyone ever dated someone that was a great person, but sucked with relationships?

So I just recently broke up with my girlfriend that I dated for almost 2 years. She was a great person. Funny, smart, unique, beautiful, and very loving, but she was just so oblivious with relationships that I couldn't handle it anymore. No matter how many times I told her what she was doing wrong, she still did it. I had to carry the entire relationship. It was always me who had to suggest dates and hanging out, and I always initiated conversations over the phone. I know that she was much more in love than I was (that was another big problem), but she didn't show it at times. At other times she was too affectionate to the point of being slightly clingy. she was also too overbearing at times. I HATE pda because I like to look professional (even though I'm still young) and she has no problem with making out in public (it's highschool so it's not as bad as it would be in the store or something), but it was still annoying. Basically she was overall awkward and unbalanced with the relationship (and definitely was lacking in the romance department) so I had to cut it off. I feel bad since she is a great person overall, but she made me feel like I was in some middle school relationship, when I like a more mature relationship. So has anyone had this happen? When they were awesome and attractive as a person, but just too much to bear in a relationship?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Hell yes I have. Honestly some people are just not mature enough to be in relationships. They can be a great person else wise but many people lack empathy which there for prohibits them from being in a mature relationship. They are unable to think to themselves "How would I like it if this was being done to me" or "If he treated me like that would I be okay with it". That is where the issue comes in. My ex was had been in 5 relationships before me and he was my first. Yet I had to constantly tell him how to follow relationship etiquette. Ex. not liking slutty pictures of other women on social media, or to not walk ahead of me when in a group of people. He lacked major empathy and maturity. These people have a lot of growing up to do as they still live in this "I am entitled to my happiness" or "The world revolves around my needs" mind set. When your in a relationship you should put your partners feelings before yours. Unfortunately a lot of people don't get that.

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    • Exactly! It took me a while to finally break up with mine, and I still feel bad about it (mainly because we still see each other all the time because we do the same activities at school). She even admitted to me that she never really considered how I felt when I discussed the idea of breaking up with her. I guess it just never crossed her mind.

    • Don't feel bad. Seriously good for you for recognizing that you can do better. I wish I left my ex much sooner. I recognized that my feelings were often not considered yet I stayed. He ended up cheating on me so then I left. These people will not change unless they want to. Sometimes empathy cannot be learned. So seriously good for you, you probably saved yourself a lot of pain.

Most Helpful Guy

  • I feel exactly the way you do, except instead of 2 years I dated a girl for 2 months. I really cared about this girl and I knew her for 2 years. I really wanted to date her but some other guy asked her out first and he was a real a-hole. So then I asked her out after they broke up and slowly she stopped showing interest in me and seemed less and less like she wanted to be with me, no matter how hard I tried to make her happy. I told her how I felt and we broke up. Turns out she still loves her S. O. B. ex-bf.

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What Girls Said 2

  • You are so demanding...

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    • How is that demanding?

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    • Lol, the fact that you just called me a Virgo has made this look like a joke XD those signs are complete bullshit. And there is a difference between short comings and being terrible at a relationship. I have my flaws, but I know how to have a relationship. Plus that was not the only reason why I broke up. That was just a major factor.

    • You sound urgent... dont' worry. being 40 at your age isn't bad.

  • that would me, the person that sucks with relationship! I swear relationship are not for me!

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    • Lol I don't know how to help you there. I spent 2 years trying to help someone!

    • You just need to be single until you find security in yourself. It will come with time and maturity.

What Guys Said 4

  • Yeah I was the same predicament
    I don't mind showing pda that wasn't or problem but
    She was very needy and obsessive, not about me but about garnering attention, if I didn't give it to her she would look to other people...
    Needless to say when we went to different colleges her need for attention was so great she was seeing other people
    She was cute, charming and when I was with her she loved me very much. But she had cheated on me. And I had to break up with her even if I didn't want to

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  • Kinda
    My current girlfriend is an amazing person! She really is... however when it comes to relationships.. she and I are on 2 different pages.
    I don't see that as her fault (maybe it's mine) but it is fucking hard sometimes and causes me so much stress

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    • I can relate to you about being on different pages! It's not her fault in my situation either, it's actually part of her personality, but it gave our relationship a slow death that I didn't even notice until it was too late and I no longer felt anything for it. It's only been a week since we broke up and I definitely miss her, but I just know that getting back together (if she would take me back) would prolong the pain. I just hope yours doesn't fall apart like mine. Good luck!

    • Yeah man, getting back if you are both the same.. would just pick the scab off a cut :/ But least ya smart enough to see it!
      Thanks man!
      Good luck in your ventures

  • I have such a low tolerance for girls who don't show any attentiveness in relationships!

    I don't expect perfection... but if she doesn't show that she cares, I "peace out" of that dating dynamic quickly!

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    • She definitely cared, but her inexperience mixed with her kind hearted and innocent personality really made it feel like some immature kid relationship. Plus in the end I only got her to ask me to go on 3 dates, and that was because I had basically given up at that point. I guess we both contributed to the death of the relationship. I can definitely agree with you about attentiveness though! I like girls that put effort into it, but aren't clingy. The kind that are independent, but also show me that matter. Sadly that's hard to find.

  • Hmmm maybe I guess.

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