Her reason for not hanging out?

She's given me her number, email, everything all on her own, yet she doesn't ever want to hang out. Whenever I ask her to go do something, she always considers it for a few days but then never is willing to go. She's also never given me a real "go away" message either and she always responds to texts or IMs and is sweet and open to me. I have a theory... we were at a party at work once and she came up to me and we got to really talking. She told me she felt really awkward/nervous/anxious/uncomfortable around most of the people at the party including me because most of us have advanced degrees and have been through college/graduate school and the like and she hasn't. I tried to reassure her that nobody would look down on her or judge her for that, especially not me because she has a very sincere personality. But she was still visibly nervous and uncomfortable. Would this keep a girl from hanging out with a guy? It seems silly to me, but maybe it's not so trivial. Also, if she has a valid reason for not ever wanting to hang out, why doesn't she just give the go away message and that'd be the end of it? Why give me all her info if she never wanted anything to do with me? I never even asked for it!


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think that your theory may be correct. She sounds like she's shy around others. I would make her feel comfortable and confident around you. Or, maybe the reason that she can never hang out is not because of you, but its possible that she didn't like the activity you had planned. I think that you should get to know her more and find out the things she likes to do and offer to do one of those things. Mostly, I think she is still a little bit shy around you, and the key is to make her feel more comfortable around you.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I think she wants to get to know you, but she's scared that she isn't good enough for you.

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What Guys Said 1

  • There you go man, plain and simple insecurity. Giving you her info means she's interested in you, but whenever it's time to go out with you, her insecurity flares up and she just can't bring herself to do it. That's what I see from the info you've provided anyway. Just be reassuring, understanding, etc. when you speak to her.

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