Feeling a gaping hole in my life... really wanting a companion so bad that I crave it?

I guess I feel weird about this. I don't usually feel this way and it is driving me crazy. I've always been independent and okay with being alone, especially during the last 5 hectic years of college and working. But, now that I've got a stable job, a big house all to myself, and what not, I feel like something is missing for the first time in my life. I realize how lonely I am. I want someone to share my day with and I want someone to snuggle with. I want that intimacy, something I've never craved this bad before. I did just get ghosted by a commitment phobe after he had me thinking he was on the same page as me. I don't know if this has made me more aware of how lonely I am, or what. I was okay before he came into the picture, and now, I'm back to feeling this way. I guess I just don't understand why I have this sudden hole in my heart that aches to be filled. :/


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What Guys Said 1

  • I understand exactly where you're coming from as I too am in the same situation. I have had relationships off and on throughout my life but for the last 7 years have turned away from women all together. I have a decent job, a nice house, multiple vehicles, blah blah blah. Yet I find myself alone, sitting in this large empty house, wishing there were someone here with me.

    It almost seems ironic that I find myself afraid of women now, not afraid of rejection or afraid to talk to them, but afraid of being used. It seems to be an all to common sight these days, watching my co-workers and friends going through divorces and breakups. Loosing almost all that they have worked for in court, it makes me fear that any woman I meet would just be looking to work the 'long-con' on me.

    Anyways, the reason that you have this hole in your heart is because despite all the social training to "stand on your own" and be an "independent woman" that feminism has pushed into our society it is a lie, a lie that your brain may buy but your heart knows better. All that we work for, all of our accomplishments, they make us feel proud and this pride is a feeling of the logical mind, the reward of a job well done. However, this pride does not and will not ever be the reward of the heart, of the emotional mind.

    Despite what feminists say, a woman does need a man, or at least an intimate partner. Humans (even loners) need a little human acceptance and exchange to satisfy the mind. It is this separation of human contact that is really driving us to destroy ourselves. There have been several scientific studies that have (although inconclusively I think) shown that human interaction, ie passion, love, intimacy and sexual intimacy, all generate a similar reaction in the brain as many recreational drugs do. The point of course to this is that intimate human interaction may very well be a requirement for a health mind.

    I know I tend to ramble and doubt many people will read this all the way through, but I hope it helps you, if not feel better, at least understand it in a more logical light.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I have a gaping hole, but I think it's disappointment in someone.

    Maybe you want a companion, to share your achievements with and be able to talk to someone when you can.

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