Don't get me wrong. I love the attention at times, yet I feel a bit too "touched out." We have been going out for about 3 months now and he is an absolute sweetheart. Yet, I feel I'm just not the very attentive sort. I adore my own space and my own self time. Just how I've always been. Now, him on the other hand... well he needs to be near me at all times. Touching... hand holding... cuddling... texting consantly (I leave to go home and I get a text not ten minutes later saying he misses me.) Now, I am a woman... I LOVE THIS STUFF... but I feel I'm being... well sufficated. I'm a very lite sleeper and love my own space when sleeping. But he has to hold me! Plus, well... he "gropes" me quite a bit. He is my boyfriend, I shouldn't mind it. Yet, it's ALL THE TIME. We can never just lay next to each other without him putting his hand down my shirt or down my pants. I'm no virgin and yes we do have a sexual life, but this makes me feel... itemized. I've been very vocal on how I just don't feel comfortable with that much attention and he gets really upset. He says, "how if some one cares for me why do they not want to be as close as possible with me?" A bit of back story... my boyfriend has been married twice. Both times the girl was horrid. So... he tends to be a bit sensitive. Trust me I've grown to care very deeply for him. He is very sweet and has been the most kind of any of my past relationships. He showers me in gifts (no I didn't ask for them), he has his life together... All he wants to do is care for me. Yet, the obsessive attention has become a mayor problem and I can't say how I feel without hurting him. (He has broken down in tears a couple times.) He even gets upset that I don't talk on the phone with him long. How can I when he just was texting me five minutres before? Is there any suggestions in resolving this?
Most Helpful Girl
Ohhh, this one is so tricky. Do you love him, and do you really want to be with him? I think this may be fixable with some good communication, but ultimately, the problem seems to be down to having different preferences in how touchy-feely you want to be and how often you would like to be in touch. Even if he can intellectually understand that just because you do not desire as much contact as he does, it doesn't mean that you don't care about him, will either one of you really be happy long-term with not getting your preferences met? You can try to compromise, but I think you really have to think long and hard together on what exactly is still comfortable for each partner while fulfilling the needs of the other. I think if you sit down together and talk about this, maybe you can try to find some compromise and see if it works for you - like agreeing that you sleep in the same bed every night and can cuddle, but it can't be sexual, or that you can hold hands while you go for a walk - but you will be the one to initiate it. Good luck and I hope you can work it out!1