Are ultimatums the way to go when it comes to dating, relationships, and especially breakups (READ DESCRIPTION)?

Seems to me that it's really the only effective way because either you get what you want or you don't, but it RELEASES the tension and even when you don't get what you want, you are not going to be in a position of prepetual heartbreak.

Especially when it comes to breakups, when someone starts pulling on one's heartstrings, it seems like the best way to combat that is give the heartstring puller an ultimatum - decide whether they want to reconcile or not, but stop all of this emotional headgame nonsense and allow both parties to move on in peace.

In dating, if it's simply been too much time and they're not committing, eventually telling them to either commit or leave, again seems effective. If they oblige, great (usually if they oblige, it means that they realized that they don't want to play the field any longer), and if they don't oblige, again you can detach yourself from that person and save youreslf from perpetual heartbreak, and really, at that point you almost KNOW it's not going to work because this is a form of incompatibility (some prefer to commit early and others prefer to play the field).

Basically, you're saying, "Hey I don't really care too much about whether I get what I want or not, but just spare me anymore heartache."


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Most Helpful Girl

  • they are sometimes necessary.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well i always had a rule with reccuring fights in a relationship. If you have more than one fight over the same issue.

    Tell them how you feel, and ask them to fix it. If they doesn't work, do it again on a separate occasion. If that doesn't work, do it once more on a third occasion.

    If you give them 3 warnings and they still don't fix it, then its time to make it clear that if they don't fix it, the relationship will end (ultimatum).

    And if that doesn't work, they are beyond reconcilation and its time to break up.

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