My boyfriend asked to sleep at another girls house?

Today, I got a text from my boyfriend saying "you're coming with me to my beautiful best friends birthday" and I agreed without a fuss. His "beautiful best friend" is a girl and whilst I was on the phone to him tonight he said "this is going to sound terrible but if you weren't coming to her party with me I'd probably stay there afterwards for the night." How do I even react to this?

Updates:
I don't know whether he was planning on staying with friends or by himself, he's never said anything like this before and I know for a fact he wouldn't cheat on me, it was just his choice of words that hurt. They're family friends and have been close for very long, so if he wanted to pursue her I think he would've taken advantage of it and done exactly that a while ago.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • If you were in his shoes, why would you do it?

    I have seen countless girls here asking how they could make their boyfriend jealous and it's always taken with humor and people exchange tricks. Now a guy does it and everybody jumps for their pitch and fork... I literally just read a story of a girl who was worried because her boyfriend didn't like that a random guy asked to slather sunscreen on her and people agreed with her; he was jealous. Make up your mind people ! He didn't even cheat yet and people want @asker to dump him.

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    • better not to wait in these instances. the longer you wait, the weaker you get.

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    • @kiler1000
      Lol why does everybody tell me to chill? I am always chill !

      Ahhhh... The red flag makes a lot more sense ! You never said it that way though... I agree that it can be a red flag.
      Yes, that conversation would be weird, that was my point. Would he have really called and said that if he wanted to cheat on his girlfriend? It sounds too obvious. You seem to think it's impossible to have platonic female friends, I am not so sure.

    • he didn't say he was gonna cheat. for all i know, it was a half truth. i believe they could be just frinds, but he wanted to stay the night at his ''beautiful best friends house''.

Most Helpful Girl

  • How long have y'all been together? If it's less than 6months maybe even less than a year he might have feelings for his friend that you don't know about. OR
    You said in a comment you went on vacation for a week. Maybe he's jealous over something while you were away. Like if you went to the beach, you're in a bikini and everyone can see you plus he's not there with you. Maybe you mentioned a guy talking to you or flirting with you. Something to make him upset. Does he normally call his friend beautiful? If not he's trying to make you jealous. Him stating that without you there he'd be sleeping at her house sounds like deliberately trying to make you jealous. Because how stupid and insensitive can a guy be when he's in a relationship. He's never done that before? My vote is he's trying to make you jealous for some reason.
    Express you hurt over it. But don't be mad at him for making you jealous purposely because girls do that shit all the time just to know the other actually cares.

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    • We've been together for two months, so not that long at all, except we're very fond of each other, talk every single day and spend all of our free time together, we even work together. I think it might have something to do with him being jealous, sometimes he knows about other guys flirting with me, except he knows I don't flirt back, but my best friend has feelings for me and my boyfriend could have found out through his friends, since my best friend and boyfriend have the same group of friends. He doesn't call his friend beautiful, that was the second time he's ever even mentioned her to me, the first was when he was versing her on a trivia game and it was the first time we'd ever hung out and he said "that's my best friend." I haven't told him that it made me feel uncomfortable yet and it's been nearly a week, but it's starting to wear off me and I'm not as bothered because I trust him enough to know that he has good intentions, it was just the heat of the moment and

    • (cont) how bad I was feeling at the time that made me angry over it. It just came as such as shock to me because he has never said something like this to me, I know we haven't been together long, but there isn't a single thing he's said that has ever been like that since we started talking. Yeah, I figured I shouldn't get mad because it's something that I sometimes want to do with him, sometimes I have the urge to mention my best friend who likes me and something he did just to make a point like "you better appreciate and care about me."

What Guys Said 7

  • "Yes, it does sound terrible. How would you feel if I said I wanted to spend the night with another guy?"

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  • Yes it sounds horrible to do to you , i can't imagine doing that to any girl who
    i was in relationship with.

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  • lol wtf.. thats quite insensitive of him.

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  • ***facepalm*** seriously? Wth goes through some guys minds these days?

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  • Reply " ok baby, have fun"

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    • Maybe I should even advise him on which flowers to buy her as a sweet gesture

    • No, just make sure he carries a strawberry flavoured condom.

  • sleep at her house with him, and make tons of noise to let her know he's yours. =D

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  • I would break up with him.

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What Girls Said 8

  • It's strange he said she was beautiful. What he said sounds really dodgy. So if you weren't there to go home to, he'd go home with her? That almost seems like blackmail as well as him totally fancying her and wanting to be with her, or at least sleep with her. Those a re BIG red flags to me. You need to be careful with this guy.

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    • He's never ever done anything like this, it's so out of the blue and that's why I'm in shock, like I've been on a holiday for the past week and ever since he's been acting a bit off :/ he's a beautiful person truly, he's always putting me before everything but for some reason he just went out on a limb last night to purposely make me feel terrible

    • I would suggest you leave him. I'm not just saying that. They're warning signs. He's interested in her and it's showing through his change in behaviour. No guy should want to make you feel terrible. You can find someone better.

  • Wow, what an asshole.
    I'd be like, "It's cool babe, you can stay there as many nights as you want because we're over."
    Or maybe I wouldn't break up with him but I would make it clear that I'm not about to put up with his bullshit. It's obvious that he wants to make you jealous for some reason which is not cool.
    "... But he's never done that before," you say? Well, then show him right now that he just started for some reason that it's not the way to treat you.
    Who does he think he is? What would he do if you talked the same way about your best guy friend?

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  • I would just ask him why, and the fact that if you weren't coming and he'd do that, would be weird and uncomfortable for you.. as if why should that change the scenario..

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    • Do you think I'd sound controlling by telling him that him ever staying there makes me feel uncomfortable?

    • No it doesn't! You're voicing your own opinion and feelings and he should respect that, as you would him

  • I think he's trying to make you jealous and play games with you. I wouldn't be with someone like that and if you continue on then make it clear that you won't deal with it, sometimes calling people on their bullshit is the best way to handle things like that.

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    • He's never acted like this which is why I don't want to suddenly give up, like over the course of our relationship he's never said anything like this to me, do you think I should just discuss how I feel when I see him in person next and explain it made me feel uneasy? :(

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    • I'm not even sure what he meant, that's just the way he said it and he didn't describe it and I was like "okay then I won't come with you, don't worry I don't want you to have to make arrangements to suit me" and he quickly was like "no no no of course I want you to come, what would I do there without you? I want you to go with me and then to go home with you"

    • Hmm, i'm not sure then, why don't you just ask him to clarify? He could be playing games with you, by trying to make or see if you get jealous or it could have just been a misuse of words lol

  • sorry but he sounds like an arse... break up with him

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  • I think you need to get rid of this guy. He is obviously a player with poor self control. I can't believe he would even say that to you. That's REALLY disrespectful.

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  • What an asshole. Sorry.

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    • I agree it was an asshole thing! Don't be sorry :( he's never acted this way, it's completely out of character

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    • We broke up a week ago, so it doesn't really matter anymore haha :)

    • Well, mystery solved! Good luck and no worries, it won't be difficult to find someone better :D :D

  • Maybe he wants to make u jaelous? if my boyfriend said that i would be hurt too and really angry , go to sleep with him at her house :D

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