Am I being a selfish gf?

Hi guys!
Just some background info before I ask. I've been dating my best friend for over 3 years now. I am 21 and he is 24. I run as a hobby and used to compete in school and it's something that's a big part of my life even now as an adult. I have really high stamina from this. He also is my first sexual partner. My boyfriend is a normal hard working man who has no interest in that but I don't care of course so his stamina is lower then mine.

Anyway in bed I always feel like he gets super exhausted from me because I need a lot to feel satisfied. I always seduce him to get him to go again and again and he never complains, he seems happy and always tells me how much he loves me. But I was telling one of my close friends this and she said I sound selfish. I got taken aback and I spoke to my boyfriend when we were laying in bed together and asked him if he feels pressured and he took his time answering me and said "Sometimes I'm really exhausted and you end up getting me in the mood again for more, I don't mind it but sometimes can we relax?" I told him I was really sorry and that he should tell me instead of keeping quiet about it and he said it's no big deal. I feel as though he was only saying that, to not hurt me :( I feel really bad now and would love any kind of advice as to what I should do, because honestly I feel like I really can't help myself sometimes.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Masturbate more. Honestly it is hard just because like you said he works hard so I imagine he needs his time off to relax so it's harder for him to exercise and have your stamina. He is trying but maybe sometimes when you want more just let him rest grab a laptop and finger yourself to porn or do that before you guys fool around.

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    • I second this motion. My boyfriend doesn't work long hours, but they sure are hard ones. He has all kinds of aches... Cater to yourself sometimes, yeah?

    • I don't masturbate because I live with my boyfriend so I just go to him when I want that but yeah, he works really hard and I guess I should cater to myself lol thanks guys :)

Most Helpful Girl

  • props for communicating about it I will give you that much. You say he is a normal hard working man, is maybe work making him tired as well? maybe he can eat you out more or something. You aren't being selfish exactly its just you need a lot to satisfy you and thats not your fault its just how your body is and you shouldn't feel guilty for that and you actualy are trying to be considerate to how he is feeling so your being a good girlfriend, I am not a professional tho as you can guess so maybe ask a professional on what to do because if you dont get satisified it may start to cause problems for you guys.

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    • He is a hard working man and he gets tired from work. I'm a full time student and I work part time so I have more free time then him. I do feel satisfied, don't get me wrong, he's amazing in bed, but I would like to give him more relaxation after reading these answers. He's never asked for me to stop so I didn't think it was an issue for him

    • I'm saying ur not selfish because you are trying to fix the issue don't still go on pushing him into this because he's exhausted maybe get him to get a break off for the day or something

What Guys Said 5

  • Selfish? No. Just lusty. I feel that partners should be as accommodating as possible. It's up to your boyfriend to let you know if he's tired. If he's out of shape I think he needs to work on it.

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  • Wow he's turning into an old man you need to tone it down then lol

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  • If you're having to ask if you're being something, you probably are that thing

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  • He probably doesn't complain because he loves you too, but I wouldn't say your selfish, as you don't force him, and he agrees to carry on, but talk to each other, as long as your both comfortable with it, then carry on.

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  • Yeah your being selfish

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What Girls Said 3

  • I wouldn't say your selfish but I agree sex can be exhusting. I have always found that once my ex who was athletic too but once he had his he was not able to perform for a long time afterwards. Is it taking you a lot longer to have yours? Or are you just wanting more? Depending on you maybe see if he would be willing to get you off first through oral or with his fingers or toys even that would be for play for you both. That way it isn't as physically demanding on him.

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    • Honestly yeah, Its a combination of both for me. It takes long and I want more always. He always goes down on me and fingers me but it's the sex I want the most. Never tried toys before, i'll have a chat with him about it thankyou :)

    • Your welcome, ya talk to him and if you and him are up to it go toy shopping together and maybe pick a couple things out that you two can try.

  • You're not selfish. Didn't your boyfriend say that you put him in a mood for more? Normal lovers do that. So it is normal.

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  • I would say it was a bit selfish but you didn't do it intentionally. So try not to feel bad and try not to focus on it. What's done is done, now you can work on the issue. You have to compromise, that's what relationship's all about.

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