Ladies, are men who are hardcore gamers a turn off to you?

There's this very common stereotype towards hardcore gamers coming from non-gamers, believing that all gamers are fat, unattractive men who are unemployed losers that live in their mother's basement with no real life.

I'm a hardcore gamer and I'm far from these stereotypes. I'm currently working a part-time job and enrolled in University to major in Software Engineering. I used to box in the amateurs when I was 8 years old up to my high school years (now I don't since I'm busy with work and college). And no, I don't live in my mother's basement. I live in an apartment with a roommate nearby my University.

  • Yes
    38% (24)11% (6)25% (30)Vote
  • No
    54% (34)0% (0)28% (34)Vote
  • I'm a guy who's a gamer I have a girlfriend and a life.
    2% (1)26% (15)13% (16)Vote
  • I'm a guy who's not a gamer but respects gamers' life choices and not generalize all of them.
    0% (0)5% (3)2% (3)Vote
  • I'm a guy who's just here to see the results.
    6% (4)58% (33)32% (37)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Yes they are to me.
    I like the occasional PC game... but I never play on it for more than 2 hours a day - if that...
    From what I know of gamers - from personal experience - all I knew had jobs and lived with roommates... and all they did after getting home was shower and play games... until they had to sleep.
    I don't see how you can maintain a relationship this way.

    None of those ever had girlfriends for more than a few months I might add. Every single one got tired of it.

    This is not to say some people enjoy this quality in others - I've just never met a single person (guy or girl) who is happy with their SO spending more time with their video games than with their bf/gf.

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    • Here's a question I have for you out of sheer curiosity: Is it okay for many of you ladies to stay on Facebook all day to chat with friends and play Candy Crush yet not okay for the men in relationships to play video games a lot after a long day (obviously not the whole entire day) from work and many other things they have to deal with?

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    • People being addicted to anything where they do it over anything else in their lives is destructive. You should stipulate what hardcore gamer means to you, because that's clearly not the definition Asker is using. I'd use the term addict. "Hardcore" to me, is a variation of enthusiast, maybe they play all there free time unless there is something more pressing going on or they've got something planned with their SO.

      It should fine if they play all day as long as their priorities are in order, right?

    • Priorities are important - and I would imagine the @Asker would've said that this wasn't his definition of a hardcore gamer before saying anything else... - as he implied it's like girls with their facebook and candy crush thing - if they are on it all day why can't he be? - so that directly implies gaming all your free time.
      I will say that when somoene considers themselves a 'gamer' it's usually the addicted kind.

      @AllThatSweetJazz - I hope I'm wrong about it but in my experience this has always been the case.
      Yes, having your priorities straight is a huge importance - if you have that going for you there's nothing that should stop you from getting a healthy relationship and keeping it for a looong time. =)

Most Helpful Guy

  • Hahaha, this question reminds me of my cousin. He's a professional European League of Legends player (I won't say his name but anyone who has their ear on the tournament scene will know who he is), he was actually given an ultimatum by his then girlfriend at the time. Either cut down on the League practice, or break up. He chose to break up. Now he's making six figures a year.

    Personally, the way I see it, if you truly love something, fuck what anyone says. Come end of the day, your life is yours to live and you owe it to yourself to be happy, never let anyone shape your life for you. I used to be a hardcore gamer myself (still am by casual standards) until life got in the way (mortgage, work, school, gym, etc), I had to cut down on gaming time because I made a life choice. I still love gaming, and always will. To be honest, if I were given an ultimatum by a girl to stop gaming or breakup, I would gladly show her the door. Double so had I decided to ever go professional or incorporate game streaming as my job.

    I'm not saying everyone will make lots of money gaming or become professional, but if I had to choose between doing what I truly love, or being in a relationship, I'll choose doing what I truly love every single time. Thankfully, at the moment, I have enough time in my life to squeeze in both.

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    • Yes fuck what anyone else says, but don't expect everyone to want to make a compromise for you and your passion. If you don't know how to balance between gaming and having a girlfriend without making the girlfriend want to leave, prepare yourself for a lonely future instead of expecting to find someone who's actually ok with being kind of neglected due to your passion.

      (obviously not talking about you specifically but "you" in general)

What Girls Said 26

  • Eh... my boyfriend is a gamer. I guess. He enjoys video games. He plays them a lot. He has an opinion on just about all of them. But he does other stuff. He has a job, goes to school, and is a competitive swimmer. So he does stuff with his life.

    I find video games to be incredibly boring so on the days he plays video games he doesn't see me. But it's whatever.

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  • It depends on the guy. Gaming is just an interest. If he's cool then it doesn't matter if he does or doesn't like gaming.

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  • Yes. If you have a job and school, and you still want to game hardcore once you get home... very little time left is for a girlfriend. And I'm guessing you wouldn't label yourself a "hardcore gamer" if you only played games for 1-2 hours a day. Being a gamer is fine to me, as long as you don't prioritize your games over me. And this is something I've found is difficult for "hardcore gamers". I would grow very tired of it.

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  • No. Sometimes, I honestly can't believe that this is still the impression people have of gamers lol. Of course there's going to be the few that fit that description but now, they're pretty much the outliers. Like, I have a few friends that are hardcore gamers but they're all pretty self-sufficient and have their shit together. Lol I feel like hardcore gamers are just people that have a passion for gaming and really enjoy it, and for the most part, that makes them a great person.

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  • No, not a turn off! I'm seriously into video games, so I'd like to date a fellow gamer. Someone I know won't see my hobby as a waste of time and money, someone who won't view me as a stereotype.

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  • I don't have an issue with gaming. It's only a problem when it's overdone. Like 8+ hours a day. I just don't see how he can go to work, shoulder his responsibilities, maintain a healthy relationship with me, and game that much at the same time. Any recreational activity that took up that much of his time would be a problem.

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  • My boyfriend is a gamer and he is also none of these things. It's not a turn off if you spend some hours of your day/week playing when you have free time. It's your hobby and what you like to do. It's only a turn of if you're really hardcore to an extreme level and don't do anything besides that. I guess that's not your case though, because you said you study and work. Also as long as you have time for your girl and don't make the game your priority, I doubt she will mind. :)

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    • The one of the biggest misconception of hardcore gamers are that they play for almost 14-17 hours a day without doing anything or having a real life when it is far from that. Being a hardcore gamer is about having great gaming skills of any video game franchise (whether solving puzzles, cheats and so on or knowing the storylines very well) and knowledge of any video game consoles and franchise.

    • Oh ok, so it isn't really about the time it's more about the skill, I see. Thanks for clearing it up to me!

    • And knowledge of video games in general, along with video game common sense.

  • XD i can't complain i spend 5 hours a day gaming!

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  • I'm going to say yes simply because you said hardcore gamer. And that automatically makes me think it's an all day thing.

    So if all he does in his day is play video games then yeah, it is.
    But if he has a life outside of it and does other things, I don't see a problem.

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  • No, I think that it was looked down upon years ago, but it is widely accepted these days. I don't mind a boy who likes his video games, but when it gets to the point where he spends more time with that than me, that's the breaking point. These days, most of us are on our phone playing candy crush, girls and guys alike lol, if you are looking at a screen, its no difference than movies, TV, on Facebook, etc.

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  • Nope, I would probably join in or make a secret account and troll him for shits and giggles.

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  • No it isn't, my crush is a gamer and I've always wanted to play some sort of game with him so he could teach me. But the stereotype hardcore gamer isn't as attractive... I love games but not all gamers.

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  • I'm a gamer. It's a turn off to have a guy who's NOT into gaming. Means we'd probably have nothing in common.

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  • I know it's a stereotype, but I confess I'm guilty of this one. I only know a couple of hard core gamers and they both fit the stereotype.

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  • Video games alone don't necessarily turn me off... I'm actually one of the types that greatly enjoy playing some video games myself & I like to sit & watch my boyfriend or guy friends play them. But if you're hardcore to the point that you don't ever leave the house, or have any other hobbies... that's a turn off.

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  • Haha nahhh when I play I play HARD! SO I'm hardcore too haha XD
    As long as my boyfriend isn't about videos games 24/7 with me it's all goooood

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  • At my age, yes it is a turn off. I find it to be a very juvenile past time. Ten or more years ago if he were not a hardcore gamer it would not have been an issue, but now I would find it immature.

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    • Here's a question I have for you out of sheer curiosity: Is it okay for many of you ladies to stay on Facebook all day to chat with friends and play Candy Crush yet not okay for the men in relationships to play video games a lot after a long day (obviously not the whole entire day) from work and many other things they have to deal with?

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    • If that's what you truly believe towards video games and men who enjoy them, then it's fine as long as you don't impose your anti-video game viewpoints on other people.

    • Why would I? If other women want to date men who are hardcore gamers that is their business. It is just not for me.

  • Not really. I'm a game developer myself and I make my boyfriend test my games for me lol.

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    • Nice, good to see girls developing games, they seem rare in the industry. Hope more girls can do it.

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    • That's pretty cool. Do you do indie games for PC or for one of the home consoles?

    • Usually PC but sometimes android too.

  • As long as you got a stable job, can clean, and don't mind a hard core anime fan lol.

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    • Of course! There are plenty of great Japanese Role-Playing video games that are inspired by anime/manga. lol

    • of course and we spotted a gold digger lmao

    • no just if i was dating a guy to the point where we were to move in together i wouldn't want to have to pay all the bills. i never said a well paying job. just being able to financially support yourself.

  • I'm a girl gamer if the guy can except that I game to then I don't see why not? So long as he has a good job and doesn't game ALL the time.

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  • Tbh, the ONLY male gamer I know is my brother.

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  • yes, I feel like he wouldn't have time for me.

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    • One of the biggest misconception of hardcore gamers are that they play for almost 14-17 hours a day without doing anything outside of home or having a real life when it is far from that. Being a hardcore gamer is about having great gaming skills of any video game franchise (whether solving puzzles, cheats and so on or knowing the storylines very well) and high knowledge of any video game consoles and franchise. Nothing to do with how long he/she plays. More of how much she can pick up the skills and knowledge of video gaming.

  • i have a general rule with guys

    do w/e in the world you want as long as its not at the expense of me or our house or our family

    be it games, hanging out with his buddies... etc idc as long as our house or family dont have to pay the price for that

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  • The guy I currently like is a gamer and the only thing that turns me off is that he won't pay attention to girls... my guy friends think that it's just because he thinks no one would be interested in him. But video game dates seem fun :)

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  • It would only be a turn off if he didn't let me play videogames with him

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  • No it's a serious turn on I love video games.

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What Guys Said 12

  • I know I am not a woman and I apologize for providing an opinion, but I would think that being a gamer would only be a turn-off if it interfered with the relationship.

    If the game becomes more important than the girl, then there is something wrong with him.

    Putting more effort into a video game than a relationship is just messed-up!

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  • The turn offs actually are:
    -if the guy is in bad physical shape
    -if the guy will pick playing the games over her on a regular basis.

    I knew a guy who played LoL and HoN a LOT. However, he was also a former reservist, consultant for one of the biggest technology companies in the world, and one of the coolest guys I've ever met. He had his pick of girls to date.

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    • Yeah but not all of us are fat and out of shape. Like I said, I used to be an amateur boxer during my early years. You can't compete in the Silver Gloves and Junior Olympics qualification fights while being fat and out of shape.

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    • Sorry for not catching that the first time reading your whole answer.

    • No worries. Gaming is a hobby, same as anything else. So long as you are an attractive and well-rounded person, the ladies should like you.

  • I game, I work, I play video games. I enjoy playing things like battlefield, CS:GO, Skyrim, and many others.

    But to be honest I use video games to help me forget things. I have depression and anxiety and I guess those help me forget about those things easier. It's easy to do and it helps so I play them a lot. Sorry for being a turn off ladies o/

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  • I'm awaiting for Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain to drop on 9/1.
    Once that happens, wife knows to not bother me, daughter can watch me play as I try to keep casualties to minimum.

    Remember, nearly 50% of video gamers are female.

    Also, anybody can be "... fat, unattractive men who are unemployed losers that live in their mother's basement with no real life..." with anything.

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    • Pretty much. Whenever I think of fat, unattractive men who live in their mother's basements, I think of internet trolls and internet flamers.

  • I use to a hardcore gamer playing over 8 hours a day, I became really respected in World of Tanks and because of my strategies, since then I switched to simulation games and started modding. So yes gamers can be normal functioning attractive men, and sloths :P

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  • They don't care as long as he makes money.

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  • As a former hardcore gamer turned casual occasionally gamer I think one problem is that as a hobby it takes up a lot of time, attention and energy which is fine but can sometimes be an obstical in a relationship. I wouldn't want to date a female hardcore gamer now because i'd prefer someone with a less intense hobby.

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  • Anyone who is a hardcore gamer turns me off. Too much real life out there to be that caught up in a fantasy world. If you game a little, sure that's fine, but if it's like your life; forget that.

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  • I'm a hardcore gamer but I know when to put the controller down.

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    • But I'm not fat if anything I need to gain weight, although I can't unless I want to pick up some weights and no thanks...

  • Gaming on a console isn't hardcore so you're fine

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  • I hope someone has posted the "players get bitches, gamers get princesses" meme already.

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  • What games?

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