Relationships are about give and take, right?

When you're in a relationship with somebody, it shouldn't always be about what you want, it should be about what your partner as well. I do a lot for my boyfriend, I don't want to toot my own horn but there are a number of things that I have done for his sake, that I haven't neccessarily wanted to do, for the soul purpose of fulfilling his desires and needs. As soon as I ask for him to do something that I want to do, he doesn't want to do it, because he doesn't like it. Do you think this is unfair?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Yes absolutely

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    • What could I do about it? I wasn't asking anything huge of him either, I just asked him to accompany me to the city for the day because he had previously agreed to doing it as it would be enjoyable, but when I asked him again his response was "I don't like it there, sorry babe."

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    • "... but when I asked him again his response was "I don't like it there, sorry babe."..." You are kind of contradicting your own question...

    • Hahaha I know it's difficult to explain it. I'll try again. I asked him to go to the city with me and he knows how desperately I've been wanting to go with him especially, when he asks me to do something, I know that he wouldn't be asking unless he really wanted to do it, so I agree to it without him having to ask me again. It just makes me sad that he wouldn't do it unless I would push him into doing it or have to convince him. I'm sorry I'm extremely bad at explaining things.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Relationships are also about communication. If this is upseting u this much then u should tell him. He wil appreciate it. That way there will be no resentments between u. Sometimes it is necessary to ssy the unpleasant stuff too. Even if it only to clean the air between u.

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    • Yeah I told him I was upset about it, he doesn't have his phone at the moment though so he hasn't gotten a chance to reply, I just wanted to get the opinions of others too

    • Ok. Tbh i dont think u are demanding too much here.
      And if I was upset about something like this I would deffinitely tell my boyfriend. I know i would stay upset with him otherwise. And i dont want that lol

    • Wish u the best girl. Relationships are complicated, but when handled well, they can also be very enjoyable.

What Guys Said 5

  • It should always be 50/50, meet me half way. Never more or never less either way because that is when questions are raised by the unfavoured side and its the start of the end for a relationship, however, that is not to say the relationship will end.
    I do think your situation is unfair, talk to him about this, if he cares about you he will listen and change accordingly, but be willing to hear him out as well

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  • Yea it can be unfair because we are all different when it comes to a relationship. We have to meet each other needs to keep the relationship happy. If we don't someone will feel left out and want better. If he is selfish or stubborn then it will be hard for him to something when you ask.

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  • He gives, she takes...

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  • Well, relations are indeed waaaay more than sex and kisses, or should be more, but i believe that probably, (atleast ) 50 % of all relations is only about sharing the bed.

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    • The relationship I have with him is more than just sex honestly, as lame and cliche as it sounds, we have a deeper connection and he has never pressured me into doing anything sexually that I haven't brought up first, plus he's always completely fine with having days where we don't do anything sexual at all, in fact he enjoys those days, so I'm happy with that :)

  • Yes you have to give as much as you take, and your partner does the same

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What Girls Said 3

  • I think it's more about being with someone with whom you share same or similar interests. But even more important is actually staying that way or changing together in the same way. It happens so often that one changes and the other one stays the same, and then ship goes down.

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    • I completely understand where you're coming from, it's really sad that some people start off a relationship as different people compared to when they come out of that relationship, I've seen it happen far too many times with close friends of mine and it scares me sometimes

  • of course, it's perfectly fair.

    relationships requite balance. if that isn't there, forget it.

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  • Fairness has nothing to do with it. If you don't feel like your boyfriend is good to you, leave him and look for someone better.

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