What is in my dating league?

I have not had any exclusive relationship with any man, sure there are few people interested in me, but I'm not interested in them, and there are also some guys I'm interested in, but they don't seems to like me back.
So I'm not sure if the people I'm interested in is way out of my league or I just haven't met the right one yet.
Additional information:
Look wise, you can see on my profile picture, I'm Asian, 5'2 feet, although I don't have smoking hot Victoria secret model body, but I think I'm pretty much in shape since I work out regularly.
I'm well educated and graduated with honor, have my career started at legal department in big company.
I did not come from super wealth family or something, but we are doing well.
Personally, I think i'm friendly, and I don't have problems with people, it just i'm little awkward in new situations.
So what is in my league?
I don't expect much from guy, he just need to have better or at least same job or education levels as me, but look wise I don't expect much.
Are my standards too high? Am I expecting guy out of my league?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • From your profile and what you're saying.. are you good at flirting / signals?

    "it just i'm little awkward in new situations"
    - the best way to meet people is through mutual friends however being shy at times also gives off a "cold" vibe.

    "Are my standards too high? Am I expecting guy out of my league? "
    - you have an "idea" of what sort of standard for the man will work best for you, i wouldn't sell yourself short of whatever it is you "think" would make a good mate.

    - i know as singles hate to hear this but you will meet the "right one." Every relationship I've been in started off seemingly effortless. My rule is that if you're frustrated or there's uncertainty, move on. I've never chased these type of situations and come out with a positive story other than "well that foolish."

    *note* i do want to note this, younger girls 21-24 are incredibly picky and finicky. As i talk to them know, their list of "wants" aren't realistic. The checklist which gives Santa's list of inquires a run for it's money is about as ridiculous younger guy's few barriers to entry for them.
    - but this isn't something you can adjust or think about.. you have to just experience it and live/learn.

    just keep swimming.

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    • No, I have no clue how to flirt, lol. as well reading signal, I can never tell if someone is just being friendly or flirting.

      Yes, i'm shy and introverts, I dont feel comfortable being in the crowd and center of attention, that's just my nature and I can't help it.

      Yes I also mentioned on my question about my idea of ideal guy, that he need to be above or at least have the same job or education level as me, although I think there will always an exception when when it comes to find the one.

      Hence, my question that what is on my dating league?
      How can I set realistic expectation from my league?

    • I can imagine that high school as well as college you were very focused and driven however during such, you were very safe with the social scene and often clang on to safer outings.
      If lets say we're at a social gathering of mutual friends, when i first see you i'd think "cute" but because you are shy and "introverted," i'd have a hard time telling if there's any interest, maybe you're moody or not there to meet new people.. all of this makes me not want to approach you. Now if i kept seeing you over time, i'd start to warm up to you but as we know in life.. sometimes we only get a few chances to meet.

      - If i were you, I'd start to pick up on women do get attention and flirt well... observe, imitate and elaborate. You will feel silly but it will get better as these are things other girls have done. The amount of drive and determination you put in your career, you can also put into giving yourself more potential mates... which hopefully will allow you to get closer to find your man.

    • "How can I set realistic expectation from my league?"
      - Guys are visual, i feel like you dress very conservatively. As we know.. even if a girl is shy/bitchy or narcissistic, if she's hot enough.. a guy will approach her anyways. Now I'm not suggesting dressing up like a whore but you can be sexy w/o the trashy, this will be up to you and your girlfriends to help you out.

      Anyways, how do you set realistic expectations? You're a smart girl, but you can't teach wisdom, the best way for you to get to know if you're standards are "attainable" is to simply experience them.

      But you know.. many of us write things down on paper and in our heads and then fall in love with someone completely opposite. You've seen girls and guys do it, sometimes we actually don't know what we are naturally attracted to however.. being aware of you're red flags and minimum standards are important.

      But... you're 23! Have fun, have flings! the more personalities you get to know, the better you'll piece together

What Guys Said 3

  • You're Asian right? Chinese, Malay?
    Personally most Asian girls are conservative in their culture. I've pulled out my honest intention, like western culture being slowly cultivated inside me, that ''I'm going to invite them out'' from the first day of meeting someone that im attracted to. Guess what? Majority of them rejected me despite the fact that Im not that bad looking, plus I'm quite a straight forward, honest person too.
    So I would say, some people just do not know how to appreciate people. People who have the same kind of beliefs, values with you will eventually come along with you.

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    • Yes i'm Asian but i'm not Chinese nor Malay.
      And yes, since the young age we've been taught to act modesty.
      But I have no idea about rejecting a guy, I can barely says no, because as i mentioned before i've been taught to act in modest way, even when it comes to rejection, I never do it openly or being forward about it.

  • The skies the limit and there are way too many factors to say who is in your league. Also there is no such as Mr perfect and in any relationship, you have to be able to make compromises to what he lacks or his imperfections due to the very fact that he is only human.

    You'll know what i mean when you finally start going out there and date because only then, will you learn and get experience of what a relationship is and should be built on.

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    • Yeah, what I mentioned above is my ideal idea of Mr. right and of course there will always an exception when it comes to finding Mr. Right.

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    • Lol.. what do you mean by i'm compatible with more than 1 person? Like you think i'm going to have polygamy marriage or what? Lol 😁😁😂

    • Im saying that from the people you meet, ultimately there will be more than 1 person that you could see yourself potentially dating or even get serious with. But it's ultimately the person you choose and commit to is who you'll end up with.

  • Are you from Portugal? We can drink a coffe wif you wish xD

    Look, you should always defend your interests, do not value you low, if you want a nice looking guy and educated, thats waht you have to grab, dont allow anyone treat you bad just because you think you cannot have better. : ))

    You are pretty for me. Yes, shoot for the stars. Ok?

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    • Haha. No. I'm not from Portugal, but sure let's have some coffee if I ever visit there 😁😁

      Thank you, maybe I was just little desperate on finding the perfect guy. He he.

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    • lol. i must sounds like pshyco in my previos comment, lol. I was actually just playin and messin arround with you lol :p. anyhow have a nice day in portugal. lol :D

    • Have a nice day and try to be happy ; )

What Girls Said 1

  • There is no such thing as dating league.

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