Why some men don't want to look for love?

I know one guy who settle to be with a girl because he didn't want to be lonely and he didn't want to keep searching? Why do some guys do this?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I would guess it's because they feel they are running out of time, perhaps they've been looking for the right person for quite some time and have hit nothing but dead ends up until that point. And as such feel that they may never find what they were truly looking for. So in an attempt to attain some level of happiness and security they settle for less than what they want out of desperation. It's very odd how humans can react to the world of relationships. Some people are never satisfied and jump from one person to the next trying to find happiness, while others play it safe and stick to someone they may not necessarily want because they feel they could do no better. So, in that case, they have two options, one is to take what they have on their plate so they are assured of companionship, even if it isn't what they want. And the other is to keep searching, which is a blind endeavor as there is absolutely no certainty that they will find the one they are looking for. And in many people's minds, especially those who fear they are running out of options, the former is much safer and assuring than the latter. It's kind of like the mantra, "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush."

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Most Helpful Girl

  • They just don't wanna be alone or want sex... and that's pathetic

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    • Lol... I believe sex was a reason because this girl is very slutty

    • Haha... that's the case mostly 😁

What Guys Said 35

  • Any guy who is ready to just settle for anyone means, one is what is important to him is being in a relationship and it's like a formality for him because others around him are in one. He doesn't actually gives importance to what he wants, he doesn't give importance in waiting or looking for the kind of woman who will make him happy rather is just willing to take what comes his way. Surely such guys have little to no standards as far as going for the woman they want in their lives.

    Such guys are so eager and ready to compromise just for the sake of having a relationship that they are even willing to sacrifice their own (at least to a great extent) in that process

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  • It's a cost benefit analysis.

    For a lot of us men... it's just more beneficial and fun to not actually be attached to women.

    Getting an attractive girlfriend is a lot harder and a lot more pain in the ass in today's flaky, fat dating market, then it is to just get casual sex with attractive enough girls.

    So, why bother? Just have casual sex. Girls love casual sex in their early 20's a hell of a lot more than actual dating.

    Then it becomes a habit... I mean, if you've gotten it for free for years, why suddenly pay for aging girls?

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  • I think you said it right there. Some men have a very difficult time with being single, and would rather be with someone that may not be a good match for them than be with nobody at all. Could be low self esteem.

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  • They probably really dislike being alone. They get bored being by themselves.

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  • it's just not a priority. Sex is our priority. Why settle for a monogamous relationship when there are many girls out there? True, it tends to result in a more 'steady' sex life, but that can also become stagnant really fast.

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    • Yeah I think that was a reason why and sex because this girl is very slutty

    • Show All
    • of course it does. economics doesn't just deal with money. it deals with all assets. my time is an asset. my commitment is an asset. a women is requesting these things of me and their asking power is directly tied to my options and what im willing to give. yes the economic theory works perfect for women and men.

    • @dudeman
      then perhaps you aren't quite familiar with the definition of "disagreement"?

  • Same reasons some women do. They don't know what a good relationship feels like and they are afraid to be lonely so they settle even though it's not all that good. Adults tend to set their expectations according to their parent's relationship. People who grew up in happy homes don't settle. People who grew up in unhappy homes figure that's about as good as it gets.

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  • Love could be scary. Break up with a guy he'll be weak momentarily. Makes a guy feel stupid because he invested a lot of time into this woman when the time could've went somewhere else. Could've went into a better woman. A break can weigh heavy on a guys heart for a longtime.

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  • Because for most of us we have to put oursleves out. there and humilliate ourselves. for some dumb bitch to. treat you like garbage for liking her

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  • I think a lot of girls do it too. I think people marry for lots of reasons, usually when people marry for reasons other than love like money, making a statement, because they were cute, they lookedgood together, they dont last long and they end of divorcing or beingmiserable but some do make it work somehow. When people are actuallyin love you know it, you can spot it out in a crowd full of couples.

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  • Well, no man is really in search of love. Some look for a companion, but not love.

    It's basically only women who are in constant search of love.

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  • Not sure... that's a lame ass excuse! Imagine how his girlfriend would feel if she knew he chose her because he is to lazy to make an effort to find the right girl for him!

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  • desperate for sex. thats basically it.

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  • Too much work and heartache maybe?

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  • Because as a guy it is very hard to be lonely especially if you desire a relationship. This makes a lot of guys and girls settle and just be in a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship

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  • Because the search is mentally and emotionally draining.

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  • Because I think mean come to the realization that love is bullshit and there are much more important things to look for.

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  • That type of people try to showoff that they are not single... they don't search for love they satisfy their ego

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  • If the cause is only not to be alone, not love a guy just an idiot.

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  • Because when you're 32 and still haven't found anyone, loneliness really grates on you

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  • People tend to give up.

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  • Well some of us are ugly and gotta take what we can get

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  • most men are always looking for love, it could be emotional or physical, they actually can't distinguish. and few are above and over with it and look for something just physical than love

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  • love is not smth that just happens. its made

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  • I never looked for love I was only looking for sex.

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  • Love is a chemical reaction and nothing more. Women are illogical for not seeing the reality of it.

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  • they just want sex.

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  • Why do some women not want to look for sex?

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  • Because in society, men are the only ones expected to settle (she might be overweight, or unattractive, but take a chance with her because she has a great personality, and it will grow on you and you'll become attracted blah blah While guys who are obese and unattractive are expected to "hit the gym" if they want a woman) Women are never expected to settle for less at all. Also guys are pressured in society to be sexually active while women aren't. If a guy can't get a woman that he's attracted to no matter what he does, then he is pressured to find a gf/wife or people especially women, will start to think something's wrong with him especially if he's over 20 and never had a girlfriend assuming he might be gay or "creepy" "bitter" , but women would never get accused of this. If she's over 20 and never had a boyfriend, been on a date, kissed etc people will assume that she's "waiting for the right one", saving herself for marriage, etc.

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  • you answered your question. he was lonely

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  • Because often good enough is exactly what you need to be truly happy.
    If you're always on the lookout for something better, you'll either end up an old guy that nobody wants, or a 40 year old bitter cat lady.
    Let's be real - most people have ridiculous expectations.

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What Girls Said 9

  • Finding love can be hard. It's much easier to find someone to settle with who will help take care of him. Some guys would like to find love, but end up settling for a woman who will be a good mother and wife.

    It seems odd, and maybe sad for the woman if she truly loves the man. But for some people who have been through a lot, it might just be there way of getting some stability in their life. Maybe the situation makes them happy and they are willing to let go of finding love in turn for the other things that are provided by the relationship.

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  • its not only guys who do this, there is more pressure to find "the one" as you get older because people believe your chance for love slimmers by the year. Most people are afraid to die alone and end up with someone as a "safe plan" to not be alone anymore and have that security in their life.

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  • I honestly don't know why - I feel as if guys who marry young end up miserable and same as women, I know for a fact that if I married at 18 I would have been divorced by now so I don't know why even settle - maybe at the time it was like a good idea, who knows

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  • Same reason anybody does it. In the case of the story you tell, he's given up on finding true love and is settling for something better than being alone. Other men really don't want love - they just want sex. Everyone has their own wants and needs - no shame in that.

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  • Maybe some guys are just tired of trying over and over and getting rejected. But some guys give up on the idea of love for their own personal reasons. but some guys are out there who look for love and actually believe in the idea of "soulmates " and "the one ". The guy you mentioned above is just an example of "overly practical " attitude which is somewhat related to the first type I explained.

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  • Because they don't want to be lonely and don't want to keep searching, I would assume. Not everyone believes love is possible and some people will keep looking for a better fit while leading on someone who is there for convenience.

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  • because a lot of girls nowadays are cheap ******* and they give it up to anything that walks
    why should the bother committing if they get it on a silver plater

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  • using girls for sex that's for sure. men are stupid these days. it's like they've been affected by something to be so fucking disrespectful.

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  • You answered your own question; Because they are lonely. Some people are willing to settle and sometimes it will work and other times it will lead to misery. As long as you know what you want and make that clear you'll be good to go.

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