As much as it causes me real distress and pain to endugle women's entitlement to have me pay for date with them, there's a point where me respecting myself and my values just isn't practical anymore and I have to give in to this BS. So I'm yeilding, apparently I want affection and intimacy more that you and you are far better at sitting back and waiting it out than me so like a fkn moron I'm just going to pay. I'm just going to smile and accept it as best I can and hopefully a good relationship somewhere down the line makes me forgiving toward the hurt.
It would really help me deal with this shit if the fairness of it could be explained to me. Many women say they like it and try to make it out to be not that bad, but they often try to justify this cultral expectation by saying some junk like "we do other things."
When it comes to "it shows respect" or "it shows that he cares" or whatever; where's the mututal respect? Why does it only go one way? Why is it totally cool for me to NEVER know that postive experience of having someone show they care for me like that and yet also acceptable for women to EXPECT to have that positive experience thoughout their lives? Doesn't that seem bleak?
So, I'm asking what things do you girls do? What do you do that justifies me paying for you on our first date?
Most Helpful Girl
I just defer to whoever asks for the date pays for the first one. And before you jump all over me for it, YES, I have asked guys out before and thusly paid for the date. I'm not a hypocrite. And I am aware that other women don't do that, but what other women do or don't do hasn't got a damn thing to do with me.
After the first date, I tend to defer to paying every other time (ish) so it's relatively equal. With my boyfriend, if we go to the movies, I'll pay for the snacks if he pays for the movie, because that works out to be about the same. If he pays for dinner one night and it's like a $60 bill and then the next meal we have out is smoothies or something and only costs $20 then I'll pay for the next small thing too. Etc.1
Most Helpful Guy
This is all messed up. When I offer to date a girl it's a gift, you don't expect anything for a gift. The whole thought of expecting anything from a girl for taking her out except for her to be polite and maybe entertaining is repulsive. You need to get your head on straight.2
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