What are your rules on dating?

What are your rules on dating that you have that protects you from getting screwed over?N

I guess I will list mine

long list but some of these apply even in life

If I am working too hard to chase her or she is playing hard to get I stop. She has to put effort to want to be with me

if it's rocky or has a lot of ups and downs from the start it will continue to be that way

no free credit is given, it has to be earned

don't act like a boyfriend and do boyfriend duties until you are the boyfriend. If I am expected to behave like one I should be one

if they lie even if it's not me they are lying to it's a red flag

never be the one to say I love you first (ok this one is iffy but I'm just throwing it out there)

there is no such thing as benefit of the doubt as it has to be earned and not a benefit

don't try to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you

if they don't answer their phone or text in three times I stop

if they cheat on me they are out

never take an ex back and cut off all contact

if they are already involved with someone I stop

if they don't want the same thing as I do at the end of the day I stop

the line I'm not looking for a relationship is always a lie or a half truth at the very least

my life and best interest always comes first

read someone by their actions and not their words

trust your gut feeling


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What Girls Said 1

  • If you see a hot girl, look but don't touch and keep comments to yourself

    Tell me if I'm being clingy or annoying (communication is key)

    Treat me like a lady, not a sex toy

    Make an effort to spend time

    MAKE AN EFFORT TO HOLD A CONVERSATION (this is a big one)

    Wait for any physical contact until we're ready for it

    If while we are "testing the waters" for a relationship but they have people on the side, I leave

    If you have suspicions, ask me about them instead of just getting mad and ignoring me

    Thats all I have right now

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    • I think the testing waters one should be more specific. I mean it's okay to go on one or two dates with someone who is testing waters, but by the third date if you are still testing waters with others then that's a red flag.

What Guys Said 1

  • Pretty good list. I kind of disagree with a few things. "Hard to get" can be good, but you have to be able to distinguish "hard to get" and not interested. "Hard to get" can be turned into a guys advantage as dating continues. I've only said "I love you" to two girls in my entire life, but I said it first. I'd be very uncomfortable if a girl said "I love you" first; because, I wouldn't say it back. I assume you include trust when you say "free credit." I give complete trust if I'm dating someone. I expect her trust. If she violates the trust agreement, it's over.

    I completely agree that you don't ignore any red flags. Never ever take an ex back; say goodbye and don't look back. You're very wise not to get involved with someone that's already with someone else.

    I'll add:

    -Broken hearts are always a lost cause. A broken heart is so tempting, but you'll never date the girl. You always date the broken heart.

    -Enforce your boundaries strongly, even if you know that will be the end.

    -Don't be afraid to kill the deal. This kind of goes with the boundaries issue. Some times you just recognize a deal killer. There is no girl out there that you can't live without.

    -Don't ask about her past. Let the past be the past. Don't be the one who drags up old problems.

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    • I forgot a big one: if have to ask youself "why?" too much, walk away. You can kill yourself with the "whys?;" you'll never get an answer that satifies the question. Just walk away and don't look back.

    • Credit as in trust, but that still has to be earned imho. The broken heart one is true, it's tempting too because you may have been waiting a long time for that person to be single. I like the enforcing boundaries one, even if it will be the end. As for the past, past exes, how many guys you've slept with, etc yes. But past personal issues such as depression, drug problems, etc are kinda important to know. When you have to ask why am I still in a relationship with you constantly, it's over.

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