Is it ok to cuddle with a girl, in my situation (read discribtion)?


I'm 17 years old, I live in a 1 bedroom apartment in Stockholm. I moved to Stockholm alone when I was 16, so I can go to a better school (lowest acceptance rate in Sweden). I go to an elite gymansium (Swedish high school 16-18).
I like a girl in my class. She's really cute, but I also find her attractive. Anyways, so we've been talking for sometime now about our emotions for different things, and she knows my history and we talk about all sorts off stuff.

But she isn't my girlfriend and I've never kissed or done any sexual activity with anyone before. I haven't even had a girlfriend. But that's because I didn't want to when I was younger.

So she'll be coming over to my apartment via the subway on Friday, at 10 pm, to watch a movie.

I really like her, and I would love to cuddle with her in my sofa, but is that inappropriate? I don't want to turn it into something sexual.

I actually feel quite alone so cuddling would be great. And do you think it will be awkward and she regects me?

I'm pretty sure she like's me.

I know I've started almost every sentence with I.

Ok thanks for all the help.

By the way, I come from a strict family, and they don't want me to have a girlfriend until I'm 20+, that's why I've been holding back all these years. And it doesn't really bother me.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Okay. This is interesting you can do what I did to my boyfriend, let her come to the room, but let her sit first, then ask her if u can sit down next to her, if she says yes then sit real close to her but give her one hand gap... As The movie progresses move your hand close to hers (but it was to be at a romantic or sad scene no horror it just scares her) then if she holds your hand your good to go but remember sex or kiss is out of bounds... If her hand is not on the sofa move your arms over the sofa to let her know its okay to lean against you, if that doesn't work then try leaning your shoulders against hers

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    • What do you mean "remember sex and kiss is out of bounds". Sorry, English is not my first language.

      Also, what if she kisses me? I dunno how to kiss.

    • Show All
    • Nop, every girl loves cuddling and sex but its kinda weird at first base

    • Yes, yes it is.

What Girls Said 2

  • Try cuddling her dude. She'll like it. It's difficult with your parents though, but maybe they'll become a bit more flexible if you have a girlfriend.

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  • Cuddling is completely okay in this situation I think! I'm sure she'll be really happy with it too because a lot of girls really like cuddling :D

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What Guys Said 2

  • A lot of people are going to disagree with me here, for good reason, but I'll try to explain why I think my opinion is a potentially justified one.

    I don't think you should cuddle with her. I know... I know... cuddling isn't sex, and it seems so innocent, and this is 2015... blah blah blah.

    Here are my thoughts:

    1) Unless you live in a bizzare reality where people's emotions work more like in a Holywood production than in a normal person's life, any physical affection (even something that seems as innocent as two teens cuddling) has the potential to skyrocket someone's expectations for genuine relationship. Expectations that have no way of being met in the foreseeable future cause pain. Period.

    2) Cuddling would certainly feel amazing for the both of you, and when something feels amazing, you'll want to do it again. If you cuddle with this girl once, you're inevitably going to try and find ways to do it again in the future, or else the progression of your relationship will hit a metaphorical brick wall, and you'll both be left in an awkward state.

    3) If you end up trying to cuddle more in the future, you'll have to do so in secret. When you take something reasonably innocent, and add an element of secrecy, it suddenly becomes very very sexy. After meeting in private a few times, you'll inevitably progress to more and more intimate acts of physical affection, until you've gone so far you don't really know your way back, and you feel completely ashamed of how your parents would respond if they ever knew. Don't let it get that far!

    4) You're young. You'll have your chance for the romance you long for, even if you're in a culture where you have to wait longer for it than the people on TV. If you're patient, things will probably go much smoother for you, and its not the end of the world to not be with this one girl you like... even if it is, I'd confess my feelings for her to my parents and ask them if there is any way to make it work before falling into secret relationship status (which almost always ends in failure.)

    If you're feeling lonely, and longing for a woman, and thinking about how long it will be before you can have one, there is a more healthy way to channel your emotions. Spend this time learning how to be the best boyfriend/husband possible so that once you actually have the opportunity to be intimately close to a girl, you can do an awesome job at being a man. Read books about dating, and marriage, and love. Or learn from GaG. =)

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    • I was going to start another thread, but I agree with you a little.

      I'm afraid if we get more relationshippy, I'll just be wasting her time, because I don't want anything more than cuddling, or I do, but I can't because I respect my parents too much.

      What I mean is that I may be selfish to want ti cuddle , because chances are high I'm wasting her time.

    • Yeah. Some people say they can cuddle with no strings attached and no side-affects, but honestly, if you're anything like me, cuddling with and then separating from her, or trying to go back to normal, is going to feel very weird. Again, if you're like me, you'll probably feel a bit dirty, or cruddy for having done it, especially if she doesn't want to hit the dead end.

      A lot of the people on here will tell you cuddling is nothing, but to someone who is not well-accustomed to a woman's touch, it is everything. Remember that many of the people sharing opinions on here are doing so from the perspective of someone who is sexually active, so it may be hard for them to remember how much of an impact cuddling alone with a girl will have on your body, mind, and emotions. As someone who is sexually abstinent, but knows about cuddling, I strongly recommend you put a lot of thought into your first time stepping into any new level of physical affection.

  • It won't hurt to cuddle just as long as you don't start feeling up on her in personal places. It'd be weird if you two are sitting on different furniture while watching a movie. She might think that you're not into her if you don't, so make a move and live with it.

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    • I'm afraid she'll feel up on me :). Would be awkward.

    • Lol whatttttt you crazy, just go with the flow dude you got this.

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