Why some ladies have all the luck?

I always wonder that myself. I have seen pretty and attractive ladies hang our with not so appealing guys but hey they are with someone they can hang out with. Then viceversa. I know physical features are not the most important thing in a person but that is the first thing you set eyes even for seconds when you meet a person, then as you get to know the person the physical attributes are not that important anymore.

Also some women who lets say you know and have all this bad attitute, personality, but they do date or hang out and you that you are nice and a person who can easily make friends with, you have noone.
So my question is why some ladies have all the luck when you have some features that may be better than others and still you can get a guy to hang out with you.

Do guys like thenb bad, mean ladies? Or what is it that they like.

I consider myself attractive but in the guys department Im the unluckiest girl of all that is why I dont have guys experience in my opinion and as more as I age the more difficult for a woman to find nice guys even for friends.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Attractive people are often given a lot of slack in personality, because they have the luxury to be able to pick and choose.
    Obviously, not everybody attractive is like that.

    Could be that you're putting out a vibe that you're reserved or unapproachable.
    But I don't think that's the issue here.

    Attractiveness is relative.
    Meaning that if you're always surrounding yourself with people more attractive, you will always be least likely to be approached.
    Same goes for the other way around - if you're the most attractive in your crowd, you're most likely to be approached.
    So maybe you need to rethink your strategies for going out to meet people.

    This could even mean going out alone. I know... it sounds terrifying, and it is.
    But there are other ways to meet people than hanging in a bar.
    It's really about putting yourself in new situations to meet new people.
    Could be an evening class, or doing a sport or hobby, or whatever.
    The object is getting 'out there'.

    What you don't want to do, is surround yourself with a large crowd, where many outshine you. And last, you may have to be more active, and run a few risks every now and then... and risk rejection.

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    • How can I be more approachable then?

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    • I think I did most of what you said and nothing worked with a guy I met 5 mos ago. so then probably it is his fault not mine, perhaos the guy is a exclusive picky guy?

    • Being attractive still doesn't mean every guy you want is compelled to approach you.
      In fact, being attractive, doesn't entitle you to expect certain behaviors from certain people.
      Maybe he is just not attracted, maybe he's dealing with insecurities, maybe he thinks you're out of his league, maybe he has it for someone else, or maybe he's simply perfectly happy being single.

      Did you get your flirt on?
      People are more likely to take a risk, if you throw out a little bait.

      It's not a science, nor is there a sure fire recipe.
      It's just as much a game of chance, risk and timing.
      It's not like I'm beating them off me either, but then again I don't really approach that many.
      But if I don't get any signs, I'm not gonna bother.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I know how you feel.

    I think I am quite unapproachable and guys assume I don't want to talk to them. I am too scared to smile and make eye contact in case I give them the wrong idea. Sometimes I have shown zero interest and had the creepiest men latch onto me (older men when I was in my late teens and early twenties and this has made me very closed off as I got older) - I still don't know how to get guys who are interested in me (who I am also interested in) to approach me. Think I will have to start taking chances myself and make it more obvious.

    I think if we chilled out a bit and were more open to people and took chances and made random conversation with men we wanted to be friends with then we would make more male friends etc.

    Feel free to message me if you want to talk :-)

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    • Thanks very much I was shy many years ago and I think also it could be a problem because there are certain traits that I dont do because im not bold enough to do it cause I will feel not comfortable and I know that the girls who were a bit bolder were the ones who end up having more male friends with a possibility of even getting dates.

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    • I mean i never mentioned him at all I was going to have a serious relationshop because he was not into that either. I was just in the phase of being friends like any person do when meet a person for the first time, if things happen in the future between us fine if not we still can be friends, but Im told a woman can't be friend with a man. The odd part of this is that he is my cousin best friend and he knows some of my family relatives.

    • You are overthinking things.

      If you were being like this it would have scared him off. Especially if your texts were in the same style.

      You have no choice but to let it go.

      Are you based in the UK?

      I am knackered! message me if you want to carry on talking x

What Guys Said 1

  • I don't see it as being that difficult. I mean, guys (*most*) like women. They want to be with women, in bed and out. However, a lot of guys in their 30-40s are "burnt out" by women, the demands, the expectations, the drama. Still, that doesn't stop them from trying to be with women, so I think the problem is you.

    Are you narrow in your expectations? I saw a singles ad recently. The woman was 36. She would only go out with guys 34-37. Not less than 6 feet tall, they had to own their own home, and have no children. There were some other prerequisites, but those were the ones that struck me. I mean, let's say there are 10,000 men. Most men are not 34-37, so I will guess that that eliminated 80% of men so, 2000 men left. Average male height is 5' 10", so that eliminates more than half, but we'll call it half for convenience, so now 1,000 men. Most are married or in a relationship, so 200 men. Most of these men, even the divorced or single ones have had kids - so 100 left, and I'm being very generous there. Now home ownership. If they've been married, the family has the house, if they haven't been married, then they probably haven't bought a house, so, and I'm being generous here too- 50 men. This is a very generous estimate of the number of men she would be willing to "look at." That means that in most small towns there might be 1-2 men that she would even consider. In most cities with populations of 200,000 people, there might exist as many as 500 men in the whole city that she would consider dating - good luck sister! My point is, don't be too exclusionary, or your chances go down. Look for good people as opposed to perfect people.

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    • I dont consider mysefl that picky I mean at my age of course we want a guy who stand up for us, treat us well and be good to us. And Iknow that eventually if I found someone at my age who is divorced I dont care because at my age the guys I find at my age are mostly divorced or divorced with kids or even single with kids and I have to settle for that because Im in my 40s and I m single never married before and I dont have kids. I won't settle either for guys in their 20's , perhaps I dont mind guys like 8 years younger than me or 5 younger or maybe 3 years older.. But also I have to settle that in todays world many guys dont like committments , others may but the majority they dont like commttment and others around my age who are stil single they behave like teenagers, Do you think I have to settle with full grown up acting immature because I can't be that picky otherwise I won't find noone?

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    • Well Im not so fon dof dating guys in his 20s most of them are immature and I dotn want to babysit guys. Mayeb is different in men than in women. Is mroe accetable a guy daate younger girls than women. I can date guys maybe ok in early 30´s 35 or 33 but not younger than that but im not going to date a guy that could even my my dad in his late 60s or early 60´s

    • Look. It's your life. You must, and should, do with it whatever you want. That's freedom. I'm just pointing out the math. More restrictive = fewer dates. Less restrictive = more dates. More dates = more chances of a relationship. That's it. Make your choices and live with the results. How about voting my answer up?

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