One conversation where she called me gay and I lost all interest in her?

I used to like her until I had that conversation today. We were on whatsapp, talking about random stuff when topic of "ex and crush" came up, she got to knew that I've never had a girlfriend, and then she asked me this: "Are you gay?". I, then, accused her of being a lesbo :p and then we (in a jokingly manner) argued for awhile about who's gay and who's lesbo... Thing is, as soon as she made fun of the fact that I haven't had a girlfriend by bringing in the gay question joke, my whole perspective of her changed and somehow I'm losing all interest in her. Am I over-reacting or something or you think I'm right to feel this way?

Updates:
I'm not against homosexuality or anything just to be clear. I wouldn't have mind her jokingly calling me gay if it was for something else, but she called me gay cause I haven't had a girlfriend, which I found to be hurtful. Maybe it's just me, I don't know.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well, I think you obviously disliked her joke. To be honest, you don't just come right out and ask a dude if he's gay when you're having a serious convo. So I can see why you were taken aback.

    I mean, I don't even think I call my guy friends homos... not even in a joking manner and I've known these dudes for years. So yeah, for a chick to go and say that to your face is kind of offensive, I get it, and I get why you're turned off by it.

    Are you overreacting? Well, every person has their limits. You just encountered something that you may or may not be able to live with - her sense of humor. That's up to you to decide, dude. Truly Overreacting though, in my book, means that you all of a sudden cold-shoulder her, stop talking to her or treat her like crap, start spreading rumors, or just think that she's a horrible person as a result of this verbal exchange. This is obviously NOT you. You simply said that you considered it a turn off. Overreacting? No, dude, I don't think so. Sounds pretty level-headed to me.

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    • Thank you so much for your opinion!!

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    • Yes, I can feel that. Some part of me just wants to forget that she ever said that and keep things going, but I'll stick to the reality from now, which is, we're not as compatible as I thought we would have been. Her jokes are too advanced for me, I guess.

    • Yup. No one can argue your decision dude. Well, you'll find another one.

What Girls Said 3

  • I do think it was pretty insensitive of her to say that. Whether it's enough to stop seeing her... well bottom line is if you've lost interest that's really hard to just get back.

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  • I think you're ridiculous. There is nothing wrong with being gay, and she just asked out of curiosity.

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    • Unless you missed the Update part, here it is:
      "I'm not against homosexuality or anything just to be clear. I wouldn't have mind her jokingly calling me gay if it was for something else, but she called me gay cause I haven't had a girlfriend, which I found to be hurtful. Maybe it's just me, I don't know."

      Curiosity? Well, that's one way to put it, I guess.
      Thank you for your opinion.

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    • A lot of girls around the world, I'm sure, never had a boyfriend. Doesn't really mean I'm going to ask each and every one of them if they are lesbian, right? And if you're showing interest to a guy and he still asks you if you're lesbian just because you never had a boyfriend sounds pretty stupid right? Cause if you were a lesbian, you wouldn't have shown any interest in the first place. So please think LOGICALLY before coming to a conclusion. As always, thank you for your opinion!

    • Did you expect me to know the whole, full scenario from your text? I wouldn't be offended at all if he asked about my sexuality, I'd maybe question if he were into me, but I wouldn't be offended.

  • You're overreacting.

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    • Thank you for answering, but if you don't mind, how so?

What Guys Said 5

  • I think you are well within your rights. To be fair, I'd probably react similarly. Being called gay is offensive to a man's pride. Calling her a lesbo wouldn't have had the same effect as it had on you. But if you were to call her desperate or something of the sort, then she'd be pissed.

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    • I'm not against homosexuality or anything just to be clear, nor I think you're. I wouldn't have mind her jokingly calling me gay if it was for something else, but she called me gay cause I haven't had a girlfriend, that's a little hurtful, don't you think?

    • It is hurtful. And stupid.

  • What you're experiencing is a reaction to her emasculating comment. You aren't overreacting, you're just not into women who challenge your manhood by calling you gay. There's nothing wrong with calling her bluff and showing her that she should watch her mouth, and there's nothing wrong with you acknowledging that she can't provide what you want.

    Just get over her and move on to the next.

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  • Brush it off man.
    For what it's worth, I've never had a girlfriend either. And I'm certainly not gay.

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  • It really doesn't matter, if you lost interest it probably won't come back. Just move on.

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  • You're just too sensitive she was joking around.

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