He never calls me, but expects me to call him?

Long story short, I met this really great guy. He's taken me out a few times and he's been very good to me. He told me in the beginning that he hates cell phones and he rarely ever uses his to contact me. If he runs into me (which happens a lot since we work in the same mall) he asks me to hang out, but he never reaches out through the phone and sometimes he doesn't call me back. Over the course of 5 days, I'd called him three times and texting him twice without a single response. I called again and surprisingly, he answered, but the conversation had to be cut short because he was at work. After growing tired of chasing him, I decided to pull back. A week later, I saw him and his friend guy friend at work and he ran up and gave me a hug, *ummmmmm... what?* Then he asked me why he hadn't heard from me in so long. Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude, are you serious? He then took his phone out, showed me his call log and swore he didn't get any of my other calls. I took his word for it. He told me to call him soon and then he left. A few days later, I called him and he didn't answer, so I left a message. I called a few days later and he didn't answer, but he texted me saying he'd seen that I called him, but he had friends from his home town visiting that week and he was spending time with them. A few days previous, I'd seen him walking around town with a group of guys his age, so I took this to be true, but what I don't get is why he didn't warn me not to call in the first place? Anyway, his overall behavior is weirding me out. He doesn't seem like a player. He swore he'd never do anything to hurt me, he's never flaked on me, pressured me to have sex with him, or been anything but good to me. I understand he's got a lot on his plate with work, friends visiting, and looking for a new apartment, but I don't understand why he wants me to call him if he's so busy. Thoughts?


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What Guys Said 1

  • I read the headline and ignored the long "short story" ... so here's my opinion...

    If you want a guy to always be calling you then you have to set up the relationship that way. You have to be explain to him from the start that you're not going to call him, and that he's going to have to always call you.

    Or, if you want something in the middle, where you each call each other equally, then you simply make that a rule when you start dating.

    Simple.

    We teach others how to treat us.

    But that doesn't mean he won't constantly test your boundaries. And it's likely what he's doing now. If he WANTED to call you more then he would. Trust me. So if he's not calling you more that's because he doesn't want to.

    If you WANT him to call you more then you have to do two things... you have to make it clear to him that you want him to CALL you. And number two... and this is where you're failing... you have to NOT CALL HIM.

    That's it.

    The reason he's wining this struggle with you is because you're more willing to give in than he is, because you're not willing to lose him, but he's willing to lose you.

    It's that simple.

    Sometime you have to know what it costs to get what you want.

    ~ Robby

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