Girls, would you like a guy to pay for things you do together all the time, or would you want to pay sometimes for him to show appreciation?

Girls would you like it if your boyfriend always took the check after the nice date, or you want to be nice to him and pay for him sometimes to be kind? Would you pay for a special occasion like his birthday?
And would you be offended if the man offered to pay all time? Some feminist say that a man pays for things only to show his dominates and to have sex with her. Do you feel that way?

  • I would let him pay.
    6% (5)0% (0)4% (5)Vote
  • I would offer to pay sometimes maybe for a special occasion.
    84% (67)0% (0)50% (67)Vote
  • I'm a guy see results.
    10% (8)100% (54)46% (62)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • "Girls would you like it if your boyfriend always took the check after the nice date, or you want to be nice to him and pay for him sometimes to be kind? "
    I always split. It's a nice gesture if he offers to pay, but I don't let him unless he owes me for something.

    "Would you pay for a special occasion like his birthday?"
    I always pay on their birthday. There really isn't a classy alternative option. 'Yay, Happy Birthday! Let's go somewhere, have fun, and you can pay for yourself, okay?' WTF is that? Short of them being a millionaire and wanting to go somewhere I straight up can't afford, I'm paying on their birthday.

    "And would you be offended if the man offered to pay all time?"
    No. As I said, it's a nice gesture. ... I would question his pattern recognition skills after several months though.

    "Some feminist say that a man pays for things only to show his dominates and to have sex with her. Do you feel that way?"
    No. I am a feminist. I believe in both sexes receiving the same rights. Besides, if the only way to show his supposed "dominance" is through material goods, he's a pretty weak man and I don't want anything to do with him on a romantic/personal level.

    Where is the option for preferring to split? I had to default to Option B because it was the closest one to going 50/50.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I would like to rap my opinion..
    So here we go typing my opinion slow, I'm reppin' that #SlothLife until the day I go, oh no baby I may be slow but my dick is so hard, you'll be crying for mo' but that's after dinner because and I'm payin' yo, if you're rollin' with me you leave your wallet at home, and I could go on with this flow all night, but I just drank some rye, so let's call it a night.. So to actually answer your questions without shitty rap, I always pay for shit because I can and I like to :P

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What Girls Said 36

  • Of course I'd like him to pay for everything! I like to keep my money lol - doesn't everyone?

    But no, I don't let him always pay. We go Dutch most of the time.

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    • Money means too much to you, according to your first two lines. In a relationship things should be done together (we; us, not I; me), so it shouldn't mind you in the slightest to pay money.

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    • A lot of guys read just your first sentence and immediately down voted you. You can't joke about anything. smh

    • @Dipsy - unless and until you understand how expensive life is, you don't get to talk about materialism.

      My boyfriend and I split when we go out, or we go on dates that don't cost money. We're both in college. We have living expenses like rent and food and gas. Until you also have these things to consider, you have no right to call someone with bills materialistic for not wanting to pay for something frivolous.

      Enjoy your childhood.

  • we always split everything. sometimes we alternate. if I'm broke, he pays. if he's broke, I pay :p

    on birthdays, the one with the birthday doesn't pay - but that's just common courtesy.

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  • I would always offer to buy dessert or leave a tip or pay for something... not to be kind, but to be a decent human being. Of course treat on birthdays and non-occasions besides. I don't understand girls who think it's fair to always get things free. It's not right and if that's the expectation, guys should rethink dating them.

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  • I pay more than half the time for both of us.
    I don't "offer to pay to be nice" I offer to pay because I can get my wallet out quicker than him.

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  • Not even special occasions - he pays more than I do just because he has expensive tastes and I would go bankrupt if I tried to keep up with him 50/50, but I really prefer to be in a relationship that is an egalitarian partnership. He's my boyfriend, not my ATM.

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  • My boyfriend makes more money than me and I am a student. I still work and have much less expenses than him minus the whole student loans deal, but since he earns more than me, he usually pays even when I try to.

    I think even without the whole who earns more bit, he would still almost always pay for me. He enjoys treating me and is old-fashioned. I personally wish he'd let me pay more but I can't say I'm complaining. I'm all for gender equality but women spend more on makeup, toiletries, and clothes. No one is forcing women to spend more but businesses and society put more spending pressure on women, and quite frankly, I like spending money to make myself look good. Guys can pull that off much more cheaply. I think it's (almost) a fair trade off. If it makes it any more fair, I also tend to spend more money on house improvements/decorations.

    Although I am quite flattered at the fact I often don't need my wallet when I'm out with my boyfriend, I wouldn't judge another man any different if he asked his girl to go dutch or pay more than mine does.

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  • Tbh I really dislike the feeling of owing someone lol. I always try or find a way to return the cash to them even if it's just for a simple cup of coffee at work, or a sandwich at school etc. People would be like "nah it's okay on me" but I'd be like "nono you can't here take this".

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  • I think I rather put some money towards it. I feel really bad when guys do that. Even the guy at work who grabs the coffee sometimes says "it's ok I got this" and I'm like trying to figure out a way to give him the money back "slips it on his office table" but I really hate that feeling of owing someone. I know guys do it because they care for you and blah blah blah but that shit is so old school lol

    Half and half for the win 😎

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  • Often, its modified Dutch.

    Or, who can actually afford to pay. One of my ex's, the first time we dated, he was quasi-homeless.. so I paid most of the time. The 2nd time we tried, he was living at home again, had a steady job, and his music, and so he paid most the time.

    Granted.. I made sure he was well rewarded in other ways...

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  • I would like him to pay like the first two dates but that's if he asks me out but if I ask him out I would like add money to what he put down like I would put down the tip or pay for dessert. Yes I would totally pay if it's his birthday because most likely I would want to do something to show him that I appreciate and love him and that is totally mean, you make him pay on his Birthday.
    I wouldn't be offended if the man offered to pay all time, the fact that he offered would be totally sweet but it would probably get annoying if he paid all the time.

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  • My boyfriend pays most of the time when we go out, just because that's the kind of guy he is. I usually offer to pay but he rarely lets me.

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    • What if it his birthday, does he let you pay then?

    • Probably. I can't say for sure because he's only had one birthday as a couple with me, and his parents took us out to dinner and they paid.

  • I always pay for myself and don't mind paying for him too.
    I don't believe people (at least people I'm close to) should have to pay for anything on their birthday.
    "Would you be offended?"
    I'd be annoyed.
    As for the last one it's true. Some men do that.
    "I'm paying for this so she owes me sex."

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  • The last boyfriend I had lived across the country but he still bought me things more often than I bought anything for him. This is why: he was a year older with a job and steady income even if it was only minimum wage. I was a student who couldn't afford to buy things without gift cards. The few times I bought him something was when I knew his birthday was coming up and I had received prize money in the form of an amazon gift card for an art contest. He would buy me flowers, games, and even sometimes a few shirts. It was sweet of him and I wish I could have done more, but for me it was whoever could pay and afford to do it when we would ever consider doing anything. If I had a steady income, I would ask to go dutch. It would be a conjoined effort and the idea of it makes me smile :)

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  • i always try to pay for some things to make it fair and show appreciation. i usually will take my boyfriend out for a birthday dinner. i also try to take him out to ice cream or dinner whenever i can.
    i wouldn't be offended if the man offered to pay all the time. my boyfriend usually does. it's a nice gesture. i don't feel that a man pays to show his dominance and have sex.. i never have.

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  • I have paid for more dates than I have ever had dates paid for me. Lol.

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    • And what would be the feeling towards those men that you've paid for?

      Would you think less of them?
      Would you be neutral with them?

    • I don't mind, the only point it gets annoying is probably how men feel when they pay for women: offer every once in a while, and be upfront about it - don't just sit there and wait for me to pay.

  • He doesn't need to pay for me because he isn't renting me. Of vourse its a nice gesture to pay for your family/friend/signicant other but pay It shouldn't be awkward or injure pride. If one person makes a lot more money then the other and wants to take them out often and iniates the date then they should mostly pay for the date.

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  • We can split the bill each time, or take turns. I'm not going to let him pay every time.

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  • I don't find men paying offensive at all. When I first start seeing a guy, I actually like when they offer to pay. After we've been dating a while, then I will pay when I can. In the end, it all evens out I've found.

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    • Why does she down votes... Doesn't EVERYONE like free things?

      Okay I understand the guilt you carry for owing someone money but down voting someone being real? 😂

    • haha thanks man! Yeah I guess it's offensive that I like getting stuff for free, but who doesn't? lol

  • Vote D = I refuse to let men pay for me at ANY time + NEVER accept any of their gifts

    Three reasons:
    *I want the men I date to KNOW that I like THEM & not be confused about why.
    *I have a very real gift receiving phobia with everyone, even family
    *Whatever men can buy me, I can also afford and buy for myself.

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  • Guys that I have dated always paid, even if I offer. I get, "No-no, I'm taking YOU out what would i look like making you pay?"

    If I'm asking a guy out (I've done before) , I pay.

    I like it when a man pays, he has the "Yea I got this" facial expression.

    When it comes to women, once again whoever asks who out. I'm usually the submissive, so they insist on paying.

    Why complain.

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  • I've learned from this site that some guys hate paying for their date or putting down money on anything. So this is basically a place for them to come vent because I highly doubt they have the balls to express how they feel to their date or SO.

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    • this site? try men in general, why would they like to pay if splitting the bill is an option.

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    • Here we go. The broke guy acting like he has money calling me a whore/prostitute. Unfortunately for you I'm a virgin so your argument is now invalid. If you are rich (which I doubt) that makes it even worse. You're a miser. You'd probably be the guy who knocks a girl up and not pay child support. Your ex (if you actually had one) most likely left because she figured out you were just a cheap bastard. You don't care anything about these girls. You just want a cheap hook-up. You have my pity for being a poor excuse of a man. Don't even think of yourself as an Alpha male because you aren't even at beta male level. Hopefully one day you grow to be a man and get some class.

    • By the way it should be addressed that you admitted to leeching off your parents. You'really probably even a potential squatter. You aren't rich just because your parents are well off (if it'still true). Your 25 and and still using your parents to pay your way. Have some integrity. Who would brag about this?
      At first you said you let the girls know you don'the pay their way yet then say it'seems expected after a while. So in the end you do bite your tongue. You are also pretty vague on the time line of your "longest relationship" for all I know it could have been 3 months. But I doubt you even ask a girl on a date. You probably say "let's hangout" which is a copeout. I do call BS on your stories. Obviously you are more then butt hurt and trying to use BS to justify you not paying. Telling a girl she's a prostitute/whore or property because it'seems customary for a guy to pay is beyond pathetic. Also degrading men who don't mind paying shows your insecurity.

  • Where's the option for "I like to pay half the time"?

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  • nice to see most girls feel the same way as I do I like to spoil my man too!!

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  • Neither, I'd rather just split it evenly, always.

    Your poll options are lacking, the only choices are either always having the guy pay, or having the guy pay most of the time.

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  • My boyfriend never lets me pay for anything when we go out. He says it makes him feel like less of a man. I offer often though

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  • First date, yes. He should pay everything. After that, taking turns. I pay an activity he pays dinner visa versa. Usually he pays for the more expensive stuff since he has more money, and i pay for the less expensive stuff.

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    • Why should the guy always pay on the first date, if I may ask?

    • Because i am traditional and old fashioned. If you ask me out, you pay. Just shows that a guy is willing to invest in you.

  • Personally, if a guy insists on paying all the time, it makes me feel like he thinks I'm incapable. But it is nice to be looked after sometimes. I think that, as a general rule, we each pay for our own, and then I won't be upset if he wants to pay for the occasional dinner. I would buy him birthday dinner, and I might sometimes get the meal just because, also.

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  • I would like to pay sometimes too and no, I don't find the latter offensive.

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  • I'd prefer going dutch but for special occasions we can pay for each others.

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  • He should pay for the first day, then we take turns paying after that!!

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  • More from Girls
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What Guys Said 6

  • Obviously

    The one who initiates the date should be the one paying. It's just not right if I ask a girl out on a date and she ends up paying.

    I'd expect the person with more financial power to offer to pay.

    I don't think splitting the bill on some ocassions or even alternating would be wrong either.

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  • I would hope My Girlfriend would not be offended but I always pay because that is how I prefer things to be. She does offer but I don't let it happen at all haha, what do you think Zo? @soccerchick4eva any problemos? <3

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  • I won't date someone who expects me to pay. I'm your date not your dad, you have your own money.

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  • For the women who voted that they were a guy 😪😭 we need more women like you

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  • This is interessing this "Go Dutch" expression and idea, that's not exist unfortunaly in France/Belgium (maybe in the "Dutch" side, i dunno)... I think, for a majority of young girls, they would be more sensible to go to the guy who pays... Some girls do not even debate in Belgium, they go in date without any money sometimes, because they do not see the necessity and this is... ""normal"" for a girl, and if the guy don't want to pay, it is considered a cheapskate/bastard, etc... It's maybe different in not-latin countries, like America/England, or Sweden, Noway, Dutch, etc... i dunno...

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  • I would hope they want it to be split evenly since they want an equal fair relationship.

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