Do u think texting is really not important in relationships?

Think about it-just 20 years ago, people didn't even use cellphones. I'm dating a guy who barely texts me but when we're in person he's awesome. We have been away from each other for the summer so I get aggravated when he doesn't text me for a while and it makes me feel like he's lost interest but then I'm like what would we have done 30 years ago? Just called each other once in a while? I don't know I think people get too into texting being a fundamental part of a relationship including myself lol do you agree?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Texting is annoying. The fact that the technology exists doesn't mean we HAVE to use it... Don't count on me to text you every 5 minutes. Let's keep something to tell each other once I am back home...

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think to a degree it is. I mean, I don't think you have to text constantly, but I do with my best friend. We are talking again and even though I'm not the happiest with him, we still talk for hours just texting each other each day if we aren't like really busy where it's basically impossible to have time to text each other. I think it is important because you should keep in contact with each other a couple times throughout the week. I don't want to date someone who will basically forget about me the whole week until we see each other next. If not texting, then at least a phone call or Skype or something. My best friend and I are always in contact (well not for 2 months, but we are again) and if we weren't in contact for a long time I would start to worry that I've lost him. It's hard not talking to him for long periods of time. I drives me insane actually. I just think a few times a week in contact would be nice when dating someone.

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What Guys Said 15

  • I used to carry a cellphone, I don't anymore. I grew tired of the lack of calls and the growing amount of incoming texts. I find texting both rude and impersonal, from both sides. Ever sitting with someone having a conversation when all of a sudden you realize you're being ignored because they have become consumed with reading and/or sending texts?
    On the other hand have you ever been able to gauge someones mood by the tone in their voice, well get ready to give that up texting doesn't allow for it. Makes me wonder if you're trying to hide something.
    When I did carry a cell phone and received texts I'd always immediately follow up with a return CALL. I understand that there are sometimes where you can't really talk ( perhaps you're at work or recording audio or something to that effect.) but out side of that I feel texting is more detrimental to true communication, and a lack thereof constitutes avoiding me. truth is more often that not you ARE available to talk. Are you afraid of saying something stupid, do you need the time to think out your response till it's perfect. In our relationships we are not always afforded that time to edit our thoughts and responses. When speaking with someone you love or like do you prefer the honest natural answer or the well educated thought out bogus response?

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  • For me, it depends on what stage the relationship is in. If we're just dating and I like her, I won't text. I've found that relationships formed around face to face contact, work much better, and not talking between dates builds suspense.

    If she's my girlfriend, I'll send her things that I think are funny, and maybe have some small chats or make plans.

    No matter how much technology evolves, we're meant to be face to face critters, and saying something in person will always have far more impact than texting it.

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  • People had cellphones 20 years ago! They had them 30 years ago.

    Anyway.

    Texting is great because it means you don't have to have a whole conversation, you can ask a question or give information and that's it.

    Texting is annoying because it's seen as so quick and easy, people who don't do it a lot are seen as lazy or not committed or uninterested.

    Text is great because it's much more discrete than a call. There's no need to respond immediately either.

    Text is annoying because a continued conversation takes much longer than a spoken one, and interferes more because you have to keep stopping what you're doing to pick up the phone and type a response.

    Etc etc.

    I seldom use my phone to make actual calls. It's all texts with virtually everyone I know.

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    • I know they had cellphones but I don't think texting was a huge part of a relationship back then as it is now. You're a bit older than me so it might be different for your generation. I think for teens and early 20s it's huge. Girls will get so upset and anxious if a guy doesn't respond to her text in an hour. It becomes a huge issue for the couple. Do you think that's a little dramatic? If everything's going fine with someone in person do you think there's a reason for a girl to worry if he doesn't text often/can't hold a convo over text?

    • Show All
    • Thanks! :)

    • Motorola invented the cell phone back in the 70s. The first call I made on a cell phone was on what was called back then on a portable phone. It was about the size of an older electric can opener and had a wire that ran from the phone to a battery bag. If you seen the movie, "Wallstreet Money Never Sleeps" it was similar to the phone in the beginning of the movie. And expensive. It cost.65 per minute. Good luck finding a place close enough to a cell tower to make a call.

      Texting was not available until the compact mobile phones became popular. We now call them cell phones.

  • Well i see it really as a means to keep in touch if i haven't spoken to a girl i like in a few days, knowing that the texts will get playful/flirty/teasing. Its just a bit of fun really. Serious stuff is for in person or maybe over the phone.

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  • I think texting is the bane of relationships. The loss of nuance in that form of communication combined with the expectation of instantanious reply really screws with relationships in the most aweful ways.

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  • No, I think texting is important to some extent at least.

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  • No, it's not that important i much rather talk on the phone

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  • *sigh* I know this is going to make me sound old but I do think younger people are way too obsessed with texting. I'm very shy and introverted and even I miss people actually talking face-to-face.
    You say he's awesome in person, well, isn't that a lot better than the texting?😉

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  • I agree and think that face to face is da more important, yes communication is vital, but I honestly don't really consider texting a legitimate form of communication, human interaction requires at least a face or voice to express itself

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  • Before texting, it's email.

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  • if texting is just not his thing xD... to me it is important.

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  • Well, is that ur excuse for him not texting u? if u feel bad just don't text him... forget about it for a while n live ur life bae...

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    • It's not my excuse. He has just made me think about the importance of it in general. I have been with guys who are exactly the opposite of him-texting me every minute of the day, goodmorning and goodnight texts-but they can barely hold a conversation when we hang out in person. He is a bit older and more mature than the guys I've dated before also. So it just makes me wonder if it's truly that important or if I just over analyze it. We will be reunited in less than 2 weeks so I've made an oath to myself to not worry about it until then lol

  • no, i would feel as though she really wasn't interested in talking to me.

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  • I get your point, I do. However this isn't 30 years ago. When away from someone for an extended period of time that you care about, you tend to show it in some form of fashion to let the other know you're thinking about them. Text is a main form of this.

    It's great that things go amazing in person but everyone in a relationship likes to receive a good morning good night every so often just to feel like you're on there mind... clearly he's on yours.

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  • People are all different, they like to text more or less frequently, and it means a lot more to some people than others. It could really just not mean that much to him, if thats the case try talking to him to see what he is thinking.

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What Girls Said 6

  • Yes, I agree. We all get easily worried if the other person doesn't text, but what really counts is the time together and how you're treated by the other person in general. In some cases, not receiving texts from your SO may mean something... but in those cases you can also see something is wrong when you're together, so...

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  • Relationships have changed with time and technology. Some people keep up with the changes, others are more reluctant to do so. Texting has replaced the phone to a large extent in modern relationships.

    I hate talking on the phone. Period. To anyone. I stay in touch through texting, and am glad for technology. Others, not so much.

    How you and your partner choose to keep in touch isn't as important as the fact that you DO keep in touch in some way.

    Obviously at my age I date more mature guys, and have found they all are responsive texters. Still, it's a matter if personal choice and comfort level.

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  • 30 or more years ago, this sister's father fell in love with a woman.

    They didn't have phone, so they couldn't communicate like that.
    They were religious by the way, so the meeting up thing didn't work.

    Anyway, he or his father used to own boats, and had some business with that.

    So the guy (the sister's father who fell on love with a woman), used to write letters, and ride the boat to near where she lived, gave the letters to a kid to give it to the woman.

    That is how they exchanged words.

    I think a year or months later they got married, and are now happily married with 4 kids
    (1 passed away, RIP).

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  • i think its very important unless you can see each other every day..

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  • You don't have to text but you need to communicate. Most people choice text.

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  • 30 year ago a person couldn't contact you direct unless they had a phone, so even if they wanted to get in touch to say "good morning", or "goodnight" - they couldn't. Now people have that choice... considering they have a mobile.

    A lot of people over worry if someone doesn't text back straight away. They live their life worrying and wondering if the girl/ guy is still interested. It causes insecurites , irrational thinking and stress. There's lots of genuine reasons why someone doesn't text , but we all think of the negative reasons instead of more positive ones.

    So i do believe texing is important, because if someone who cares about you has the means to get in touch then i can't understand why they wouldn't want to send a quick text. It only takes seconds to send.

    People 30 year ago didn't have the opportunity to take advantage of texting, but now most people do. I d

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