I love being fit and having muscle, so why do girls always try to get me to "tone it down" when we get serious?

I love lifting weights and working on my fitness. I love being strong and reaping all the benefits that fitness gives, like well-being, health, and strong self-confidence. I date a lot of girls, but what I've noticed is that girls are attracted to all the benefits of my fitness (confidence, body, pride), but they usually want me to start spending less time in the gym when we get serious. Why would I want to do that? They knew who I was when we got together. It's almost like they want me to gain fat and get soft so that I won't be as attractive to other girls.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Most of the time it is because they would like you to be spending more time with them. If you make as much time for them as you do for the gym, they probably would not feel that way. You may have to adjust your schedule a bit. Perhaps wake up early and go to the gym or ask her to join you at the gym. Find someone who is as passionate about it as you are and she will likely not want you to give up your gym time. She will want to share that time with you, if possible.
    There are those exceptions. If you are with a woman who is not very confident in herself, she may feel threatened by other women because of the attention you will attract due to your body. If she is open with you and expresses this to you, just assure her that you are with her (and not any of the other women) for a reason and that she needs to trust you. If she continues having problems with you going to the gym, perhaps she is not the one for you.

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    • I think a lot of girls aren't very confident in themselves and their ability to keep a guy. I think that's why some very attractive girls end up with less-than-attractive guys, because it makes them feel more secure in the relationship because they know he couldn't do any better.

      The irony about all this is that if I didn't bust my ass in the gym to gain muscle and stay lean, none of these girls would even look at me. It's like they want the confident guy with the lean, muscular body, but they don't like the idea that there's any competition for him. Guys have to compete for the hot girls, so why shouldn't girls have to compete for the hot guys? Fair is fair.

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    • I agree, but I think a lot of girls actually like competition when it's in their favor. They're okay being the sought-after hottie that their boyfriend has to worry over, but when the tables are turned, when their guy has dozens of options, suddenly they don't like the idea of competition.

    • I would agree with that.

What Girls Said 5

  • Bc they don't have the same lifestyle as u, or don't respect it.

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  • As that anonymous girl already said, it's because maybe you don't spend enough time with them.

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  • maybe you need find someone who are as crazy about gym as you? so you can spend more time together..

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  • Then continuecto do your fitness.

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  • Because maybe you spend too much time on the gym instead of spending time with them

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