Office Romance, What am I suppose to do?

I had this little fling with a guy from work. Before we started seeing each other we used to talk and joke around all the time. Now since we've been together, he told me not to tell anyone. It's even got to the point he doesn't even acknowledge me when in we're in the same room together, just a few words, that's it. But he still wants to see me from time to time. What am I suppose to do?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Well office romance is a touchy subject. I mean if you are in a traditional office environment, dating someone in the office can be frowned upon. Sometimes it could even mean one or both individuals getting fired. Maybe he is concerned about your relationship affecting the work atmosphere. I don't blame him either. You want to keep your office life as professional as possible sometimes.

    Do you all still see each other outside of work? Is everything fine then? If the answers are yes, then I wouldn't worry about how he is acting in the office. He shouldn't be flirting and lovey dovey with you in front of your co-workers.

    • We email each other as I just told the other person. He says he just wants sex. I never got involved with this kind of romance before. He will make sexual comments to me when no one is around. If he ticks me off, I could always get him for sexual harassment, but then it's a two way street I guess. I could never do that to another person, t hen that would cause a lot of tension. He states we're very good friends. The sex only happens every couple months.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Sounds like one or both of you are married? Either way, you should probably talk to him about it. I know that sounds weird coming from a guy and all (lol! ) but maybe explain to him that by acting different now that the fling is under way may cause your co-workers to speculate even more than they did before.

    Good luck!

    • All I can say is some people put 1 and 1 together in the beginning, so we decided to cool it for a while, then he wanted to start things back up again but it has to be more ''discreet''. I guess he still wants my attention (lol! ). The sex is GOOD but it's not going to happen as often as it did before. Only once in awhile.

What Girls Said 3

  • Based on your clarifying comments, it seems pretty clear that you are now in a FWB relationship with this guy ("friends with benefits"). In other words, to be blunt, you have become his "f*ck buddy". And that's how he's now treating you. The guy is probably happy with this arrangement, and won't be changing anything unless forced to do so. But you don't seem so happy with the arrangement, at work or otherwise (except for the good sex -- which admittedly is an important consideration). If I were you, I'd talk to the guy outside work, and say that it was fun, but it's time to end this. Agree that neither of you will mention this to anyone at work, and just move on. Fingers crossed that he keeps his mouth shut (but sounds like he will, since he is clearly concerned about appearances at work). Good luck!

  • Can you clarify a little? You use the past tense ("had this little fling"). And you say he still wants to see you "from time to time". So is the fling pretty much done? Or when he sees you now, is it still sexual? Do you think there is a future to your relationship with this guy? Or is your main concern just getting things back to normal in the workplace?

    • He says he just wants great sex. We do email each other once a week very late at night into the wee hrs of the morning. I don't see a future with this guy. We are kind of like oil and water but the sex is good. I sometimes regret what I did.

    • Ok, got it.

  • At work business is business after work does he communicate? Or is he married?

    this makes you wonder what he is hiding from. I had this experience once and

    my guy richard was married. Did I feel like a fool if he would have told me the truth

    in the beginning I would have had a choice to accept it or not. I would give him

    in your situation the cold shoulder and make him beg me back it is your choice

    make them work for it. If you made love he will be he one crying in th end ask him

    what the truth is and then make a choice men cringe when we want the truth.