So my girlfriend wants to wait?

Until marriage for adult stuff... But she used to hook up a lot... And I'm left feeling why me? Why if I'm the "one" she wants to want for it all with me when she's literally given it to guys the day she met them? Is there something wrong with me?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Wow, great question! I think this is more about her not liking her past behavior and trying to turn over a new leaf. Sleeping around is something that is now a negative thing to her. This is very troubling. She may also now think that sex in general is something "dirty" or "immoral" and she feels if she waits all will be forgiven about her past. The thing is, will she actually start to enjoy sex again if she waits, or is this something she will always feel is wrong or bad? Personally for me, sex has to be part of a relationship. If she doesn't want it and prefers to wait, I respect that. She also has to respect that I want and need it, and therefore we are not compatible and need to date other people. So either she looks at you as someone who is different, someone she does want to spend the rest of her life with and has higher regard for, or you are simply unlucky with bad timing and the first guy she has started seeing after she decided "no more sex". So it depends on how the relationship is going. If she is a super awesome person and you can see yourself being happy with her, maybe she is worth the wait. Personally, I would never marry someone I do not know 100%. How can you know someone fully if you never had sex with them? So really, why should you marry someone you don't fully know? Tough spot to be in. Then the other question is, is it just intercourse she wants to wait for, or is it all sexual activities? There would be no way in hell I would wait to marry someone who never wanted or let me perform even oral sex. It isn't fair to her to do things she doesn't want, but it is also unfair to you to without things you do want. I would be worried she doesn't look at you as a sexual partner at all and such a change in sexual behavior is a red flag to me!

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What Girls Said 5

  • How long have you been together? I think the fact that she's hooked up quite a bit could mean that her relationships or situations just don't last, therefore if she's met a nice guy and wants the relationship to last and move forward, holding out might be her best option. I think she might see you as a keeper and wants confirmation that you feel the same.

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    • 6 months. I think her longest steady relationship. And I kinda get that. I still feel like I'm not as good as the others...

    • Well look at her history of 'dating' and if you're her longest relationship then she clearly is enjoying everything between you. I think she wants to see if you will stay with her if she denies you the sexual side of things.

  • She wants to wait because she loves you. She doesn't want sex to cloud your relationship.

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  • That just means she's actually serious about you. But if you don't think you can deal with that then break up with her please.

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  • Did she tell you that she hooked up with them?

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  • You can wait.

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What Guys Said 3

  • The would just piss me off and I would break up with her.

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  • It's called female logic, when they show the least amount of affection to you that is when they really love you !
    No wait, they don't. Dump her.

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  • That's messed up. Nothing is wrong with you its her.

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