Apologizing and forgiving. Details: In early 2014 I started dating this great guy and then about 6 months later we decided to just be friends and ?

sometimes occasionally more. We both of us work crazy jobs, I'm a teacher and he's a pilot and he, unfortunately, lives out of a hotel most of the time. From July 2014 to July 2015, he was home for only 62 days. We chatted a lot just as friends and then we decided to go on a weekend getaway to Florida last January. Well, I became pregnant and informed him of my choice, of keeping the baby. He wasn't thrilled at first, but he supported my decision. In April, I had a miscarriage and had a d&c and later contracted a nasty infection. I called him and told him, I lost the baby and he flew into town and was there for me for every procedure and took care of me at home. Which is so extremely kind and I can't thank him enough. It's been a struggle these few months. My emotions have been doing 360's and I just want to normal again. He was in town about two weeks ago and came over. I asked him the next day if he would like to have dinner or lunch? It's the only way I know how to thank him for everything. He responded with, "well, I'm busy and I'm only in town for 4 days." I said, just be honest and say no thank you. He immediately sat down and rearranged his schedule. But, I informed him that, I would only have dinner with him if he wasn't feeling forced to do something he obviously wasn't interested. in. He left my apartment and we did not communicate with each other until 2 days later. He informed me, he had gone back to work and that I didn't seem interested in having dinner with him. I informed him, I never said that and that I said I don't want to force you to do something you obviously had little interest in. Then the argument got heated and now were only communicating via email. I've tried a couple of times to apologize and he's being a jerk and only responds with ok. I just don't know what to do. I don't want us to act childish towards each other and I want us to be ok. I would love for us to be together, but I know that's not possible. Please help!


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What Guys Said 1

  • "We both of us work crazy jobs, I'm a teacher and he's a pilot and he, unfortunately, lives out of a hotel most of the time. From July 2014 to July 2015, he was home for only 62 days."

    ^makes sense... if he's a pilot he'd have a lack of free time and he'll have to leave his home often...

    "In April, I had a miscarriage and had a d&c and later contracted a nasty infection. I called him and told him, I lost the baby and he flew into town and was there for me for every procedure and took care of me at home."

    ^dat's nice of him... thought he'd get mad if he heard about this miscarriage... :/

    "My emotions have been doing 360's and I just want to normal again. He was in town about two weeks ago and came over. I asked him the next day if he would like to have dinner or lunch? It's the only way I know how to thank him for everything. He responded with, "well, I'm busy and I'm only in town for 4 days." I said, just be honest and say no thank you."

    ^obviously he was being nice... like he was sayin.. u don't have to return da favor... ;)

    "He informed me, he had gone back to work and that I didn't seem interested in having dinner with him. I informed him, I never said that and that I said I don't want to force you to do something you obviously had little interest in. Then the argument got heated and now were only communicating via email."

    ^oh it's sad to argue about such a minor thing... :(

    as i said above he was just being nice... he didn't want u to return da favor... not he wasn't interested for dinner... but anyway... i believe heat'll tone down soon... seems like u get along wid each other... ;)

    "I've tried a couple of times to apologize and he's being a jerk and only responds with ok. "

    ^so for how long this is happenin?

    "I just don't know what to do. I don't want us to act childish towards each other and I want us to be ok. I would love for us to be together, but I know that's not possible. Please help!"

    ^did u try to apologize to him then? if u did... then wot did he say?

    i believe he'd tone down his anger anyway... battlin over a dinner after he done so many good things? nah... isn't it strange?

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What Girls Said 1

  • Controlling statements
    I said, just be honest
    I informed him that, I would only have dinner with him if
    I informed him, I never said that

    Teachers have a problem with being queen outside the classroom.
    Too bad, for it's important to have control during the day in order to teach!
    Some guys can deal with this, even the part where the teacher is blind to how controlling they are... that their defense of all this becomes blind to the poor feelings created = rejection, ultimatums felt, now termed something else.. . again all their fault, not the teacher's

    Most guys that fly do honor Rank, military honors
    but expect THEIRS is also honored, else lives are lost, planes don't fly
    and frankly they consider all this a higher duty than ... teaching in a warm, safe, tax based schoolhouse. In short, who are you to be bossing around a pilot/other? Your only rights to this are given out of his love for you. Step on that love (as you have) and your authority evaporates. Now that his MANY dating options are refreshed, his best choice (you) have rebuffed him again, even a fight that's "his fault", these irritants' source (your voice) can't be heard any longer. Perhaps in time...

    You are not a bad person, you stand up for your rights and deserve a guy willing to hurtle obstacles to be with you and support your decisions, good/bad.

    HE HAS DONE ALL THAT, even the huge flying schedule one - people get fired for screwing with this too much! If you'll calmly put yourself aside and consider ALL he's done for you over these next few months, you'll see the market for such guys is almost nil. I'm afraid you'll have to shop a milquetoast in order to get all those "good student" qualities a "teacher" must have outside the classroom.

    If you want this guy back, don't wait to long.
    From now on, until he says "quit that"
    everything past, present future
    is ALL your fault
    and begin planning to meet him wherever he is on every teach break you get from now on.

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