Girls, I have "confidence issues"(but not in the way you'd assume). Can you help me please?

I know women have become mindless slaves to men they perceive as being "confident", and I admit I have issues being that. But it's not in how I view myself or low self-esteem. I'm actually pretty sure of myself. My issues lie in feeling too different from everybody. What I mean by that is I don't do/follow things everyone else my age does. I couldn't tell you who the popular music artists are right now. I couldn't tell you which Kardashian sister is who. I have no idea what people watch on TV. I don't do Facebook, Twitter, or any type of social media. I don't have a group of friends I stay in touch with to keep me up to date on these types of things. Instead, I read a lot. When I watch TV, it's news outlets and educational networks like History & Military channel. I know nothing about popular music or the current fashion trends. When I do go out to bars & clubs, I usually don't stay long because I get so irritated by being around people when I'm in a crowd. I'm constantly alternating back & forth between either feeling too odd & out of touch, or getting so frustrated by the throngs of people that I just want to break my beer bottle and stab the nearest person in the jugular with the jagged shards. So I need help here. How am I supposed to be this proud, confident, strident figure when I'm constantly feeling either: A.) I don't fit in at all B.) Becoming so aggravated by people that I'm no longer even in the right mindset to want to meet someone? I don't lack confidence in myself once I'm in a relationship– in my ability to make a deep emotional connection with a woman, or in my abilities as a lover. In fact, those are my strengths. My problem lies in getting a girl interested in the first place so that I can steer things into my wheelhouse. How can I ever come off as being confident when I feel so different from everyone else & disconnected from my own generation? TV, music, fashion, social media, etc.; all things I'm not into or a part of. Help me ladies!

In other words, I lack confidence in my ability to approach a girl and spark up a conversation with her where we have enough common ground to sustain the discussion.


Most Helpful Girl

  • This is an easy one. If you feel anomalous derive your confidence from that feeling. Maybe you can't always relate or find common points of interest with a Kardashian fangirl, but, no offence to those girls, it's not the most terrible fate. Having different interests and your actual individual opinions and views on things is never a bad thing, it's actually quite attractive when I first meet a guy. I have the same problem, I know way too much about Robert Plant and too little about Robert Pattinson to be considered a normal girl. But I don't let my individuality become a problem, sure less people are interested in me once I start singing El Condor Pasa as opposed to the latest Katy Perry song but heck, that may have less to do with Simon and Garfunkel and more to do with my singing.
    But I digress, keep being different and embrace the anomalous. Strike up conversation about what you saw on the history channel, eventually some amazing woman is going to surprise you and pick up the torch of conversation without batting an eye. When that happens the thousand dull women you frustrated yourself over won't matter. Just keep trying, being "behind the times"/"out of the loop" just means you have a well established sense of identity and intelligent women appreciate that. So take some confidence from that.


What Girls Said 2

  • oh my gosh wall of text... WALL OF TEXT!! DX but dude just try talking to a girl. start by approaching one and saying hi

  • You have a problem & need to seek counseling before trying to be in a relationship. You withdraw from people, have violent thoughts, you don't keep up with what's happening around you, & you're easily irritated being around people.

    So why would you want to add a girlfriend into this mix?
    How do you suppose you're going to keep her interested?

    You may become violent towards her. Seek help first.

    • Yeah... That's not going to happen. That's just a waste of time & money pursuing something that doesn't produce any "real" results. And to be honest, I don't want to change my mindset. It's a lot of what has made me sharp, motivated, and sure of myself compared to others. Yeah, I'm angry and irritated with the world around me– but I use that. It's the grindstone I use to keep my sword sharp (not a literal "sword" mind you). I'm not going to go crying to therapist and be sedated with whatever it is they dish out to their patients nowadays. Because that's the only tangible result that will ever come of it. You can't rewire an adult's personality and shape them into something they're not. That's impossible.

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    • Excuse me? Where the hell do you get off telling me I don't deserve to date anyone until I go to therapy first? Who the fuck do you think you are? Calling me "Jeffrey Dahmer" because I don't conform to whatever the fuck it is you deem correct? I come here asking for practical dating advice and instead of doing that you tell me to go to psychiatric therapy because I don't have the same personality as 95% of all the other airheaded, emotionally stunted, blissfully ignorant, immature incompetents living in this country today? Because I don't have a personality that you consider the correct one to have? You don't know me, anything about me, how I treat women, of how I am as a boyfriend, yet you appointed yourself the foremost authority on my dating life after reading a couple of paragraphs I wrote to tell me I need to be committed to a mental institution first? You're the psycho in this equation; not me. Go be useless & insulting on someone else's Q & A boards. Get the fuck off of mine.

    • Ha! Point Proven :) #Necro Bumping