How do you deal with body image issues?

I tried finding online becuase I'm skinny and obssesedwith building muscle to an un healthy extent and I realized I have unrealistic expectations but how can I feel better baout my body when women like althetic fit men with rock hard abs? and all I got is skin an bones


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Most Helpful Girl

  • 1. Stop comparing yourself to others.
    2. Realising people have different preferences and find different things attractive. You will be someone's type / ideal.
    3. Focus your thoughts on something else like a hobbie.
    4. Try to better yourself. For you it could be going to the gym. It takes a long time to see results. Follow a work out and nutrition plan from
    http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/find-a-plan.html
    and stick to it.

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    • I agree on everything except point number 2 people like similkar things and people agree on whats ugly

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    • Plus there are plenty of guys who like thick or chubby girls. There are plenty who find skinny a turn off. Everyone does not agree when it comes to attractiveness.

    • where I'm from they do over hre guys dont like chunky girls and girls dont like skinny guys, it's cultural

Most Helpful Guy

  • I work on them. I didn't like being a bit doughy and out of shape, so I bought a mountain bike, rode hard all summer long and until it was too cold to ride in the fall, and dropped nearly 20lbs.

    I didn't like being skinny and not having as much strength as I wanted, so I got a gym membership and hit the weights at least once a week.

    Combine that with eating right, cutting down on booze, and I've noticed a real change in the last 18 months. Yes, 18 months. This is a lifestyle change, not an overnight thing. Results take time and effort.

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What Girls Said 12

  • Muscle doesn't build in a couple days. It takes weeks, months and even years. I started working out regularly back in March, and I only see results now. You should either change your training plan or your diet. Can you give details about your lifestyle?

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    • I know it takes years believe me I gained 27 pounds and STILL skinny as hell

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    • Well I'm not big on that either thats why i declined but my dad knows all about them I just still dont feel safe I dont want to be ugly , skinny AND have erectyle disfuction X no thanks

    • Good. I wish I could help you more. Good luck!

  • Not every woman wants a ripped man, loads of women find it appealing when men aren't as built, loads (me included) would also find a very athletic man way to high maintenance. Just work with what you've got and the right person will come along.

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    • women who claim this are typically the ones gawking at hot male bodie tho... no disrespect

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    • for example my mother always tells me she worries I'll never get married cause I'm ugly and skinny

    • and thats your mom she's supposed to lie to you and even she doesn't dare call me any sort of attractive

  • Diet
    fun exercise/sports
    Dismiss idiot assumptions about what ALL gals prefer
    take ballroom dance classes - don't ask, just learn from this experience, best results come after ~one year

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    • Hmmm all gals preffers athletic nbodies with abs is not that hard to know all you gotta do is observe

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    • Cameron diaz is NOt puerto rican and no I never seen the whole ugly guy hot girl thing in real life specially not in PR

    • Also I have a strong point there are ugly people and there are good looking people

  • To be honest, muscles really aren't my thing. I have an unhealthy obsession with being thin and I'm still learning how to deal with it. Just remember that nobody is perfect. We all have our flaws. So instead of trying to hide them, be proud of them. Most girls want a hot bod and most guys want a hot bod, but what's hot to one could be not to another and vice versa. Don't feel like you have to look a certain way to get a girl. Just be you.

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    • yeah but you have to be somewhat attractive to get a girl if you are ugly then you have a rats ass chance

  • When I start body hating, I have to switch things up or else I get really depressed. I start painting and drawing. Or I do community service. Basically I just stop thinking about myself so much and start thinking about others. Avoid social media and don't spend too much time in front of the mirror. It'll help you focus on something other than the way that you look, because in the grand scheme of things, it's really not that important.

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  • You have a slim figure and in your mind skin and bones.
    She has a muscular figure and in her mind bulky and big !
    I personally am into the skinny geeky type :P
    It took me awhile to realize that each male and each female have different preferences ! For example
    I found this guy at the mall insainly attractive my best friend thought I need to get new contacts because he is butt ugly !
    Another example is I am in the muscular categorie and I hate it. I feel big and thick - bulky ! Not fat not skinny , but muscular !
    I was very much into this man , so was my co worker who in my opinion out did me in beautiful! Tall , skinny , blond hair , blue eyes , BARBIE DOLL !
    Did you know this man choose me... he said that girl wasn't his type !
    It's all opinion and if you don't find yourself making you happy , you can work your ass off to change it ! But there are people who find you beautiful and when you change yourself - won't !

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    • I dont belibe there trutly prefferences people are attracted to a few types and thats it

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    • Then you need to move because those girls are bitches! Who are they to tell you that?
      One they are girls who are not lesbians and can't see the beauty you have
      Two no one is ugly everyone has beauty in them as corny as that sounds
      Three it doesn't matter what they think because they arnt guys ! Their are guys out there that will find you attractive !

    • yeah but so, e eople really are ugly tho

  • As a female who has many female friends (and we all share our thoughts on guys) I can honestly say that being athletic isn't as important as being healthy, I'm not gonna deny I wouldn't like staring at rock hard abs but at the end what matters is the personality and both myself as well as my friends have dated our fair share of guys who didn't have abs and it was never a big deal, any girl who deserves you needs to be able to look past the surface. So don't feel bad about yourself because confidence is sexier than any 6 pack so self hating will only be a turnoff. Also if you really want a bit of muscle I recommend much protein and for your body to absorb the most of it you need to have it after you exercise not before (in case you didn't know.) Also don't overwork yourself. I have seen even the most unlikely candidates find true love. Also you can't stress about something like this there's no way you're not going to find someone so stop scaring yourself.

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    • well you obviously never bene to puerto rico then lots of 40+ single guys just cause they dont have an amazing body

  • a lot of girls like skinny guys but if you want to build muscle get a gym membership and get someone that works there to help you some trainers only cost 20 bucks also protein is very important eat lots of protein veggies you could even drink you're protein gain weight first and then turn it into muscle my lighting weight or do it at the same time good luck

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    • I already go to the gym but builing 40 pounds of muscle takes a REALLY long time without steroids I gained 27 pounds and still skinny as hell I used to be 108 and now I'm 135 still to skinny I want to be like 180 at the least

    • your not as skinny as you think you are just try to remember that maybe it is just all in your head and besides a lot of skinny guys are cute af so don't stress I'm sure someone finds you attractive

    • I have explicitly been told that I'm anorexic looking and ugly in my face so you are wrong sorry to say

  • Dude, relax. LOTS of girls actually don't like muscly guys. I used to really fancy the WWE types and literally all of my friends screwed their faces up at them xD

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    • then why do all my female friends tell me I look like I'm dying and i need to gain a lot of muscle?

    • You're hanging out with the wrong women my friend.

    • hmm thats every woman in my country those are the beauty standarts here trust me plastic surgery is booming here

  • Go to the gym and get the body of your dreams

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  • When I stopped comparing myself to other people, especially celebrities in the media, my self esteem rose like crazy!!

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What Guys Said 9

  • You are watching way too much TV lol

    When you find a girl that likes you for who you are then your search will end. Everything else is just noise and a waste of time

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    • well no girls like and ugly dude tho

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    • I admit at your age window shopping for your partner is very important. However, go online and do some Google searches on what women look for in men. You will find that as women mature they find a guy's personality is #1 Looks are close to the bottom of the top ten lists. And this is shocking to us guys... penis size is not even mentioned!

    • Well but thats the internet I asked my real live female friends and they said it in this order:
      1- He can't be fat
      2- she has to like his looks somewhat
      3-must be funny
      4-big dick

      and I'm not making this up. I've had many female friends admit to dick size and looks the propaganda online is either a) lies to boost male self confidence and women follow due to political correctnbess or B) a cultural thing in the unites states because here were I live girls openly admit penis size and looks matter a ton

  • If you're that desperate for female approval you will still not get it even if you manage to get "rock hard abs". Desperation is not desireable no matter how attractive you are. Come to terms with the fact that you're not physically attractive. And guess what 98% of the worlds population aren't the ideal either so you're not alone.

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    • well I see plenty of good looking people out there not models but good looking I'm like extremely ugly tho like undateable ugly

    • Then try to date girls who are also conventionally ugly?

    • I tried that but I felt miserable why be with someone you dont like? I couldnt even get it up for sex with them I dont want a model but I dont want a hag either

  • yo im 5'11" 148 and what here in the US would call buff. I was so skinny in elementry that one day i just chose to start lifting. ( my arms use to be so skiny you could go thumb touching pinky finger up to my armpit

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    • dude I'm ten pounds lighter than you and I'm a twigt I'd hardly call anyone under 170 pounds buff

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    • I've seen some bad shoulder injuries in my area of expertise which is the salmon ladder...

    • I've popped back in shoulders where they were fully out and you could have spun the entire arm like a ferris wheel... Well at least no body I've trained has broken anything.

  • I went to the gym, then I got a job where I walked 10 miles a day. Then I got a job where I move heavy things around 600-1200 lbs every 45 minutes. Now I'm not worried about how I look, I'm worried that my work has given the idea to fat entitled girls that they have any reason to pretend to think that they deserve me and my efforts.

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  • Try hiring a professional who can guide you through the process of eating healthy and working out in order to get into a healthy weight and eventually start to build muscle.

    It's up to you to take that first step.

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    • I'm already going to theraphy it sucks and I'm also on medicine those help a bit

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    • Corey Wayne once mentioned, "If you don't even try, you've truly failed."

      You've had the balls to start 3 businesses and try to graduate college. You are the few that actually tried to do those things compared to the amount of people who're to afraid to even start.

      For all I know, you've gained some experience on how to run a business. The beauty of being alive and young is the ability to start fresh and use new ideas. The most successful people had to go through many attempts to achieve their goals and gain their recognition. They never gave up.

      If college is too much for you, I suggest you seek an alternative.

      I also suggest you take a look at Corey Wayne's work. I think you will find it helpful.

    • By the way, it's also time to surround yourself with different people. It sounds like your friends aren't being friends at all. They're supposed to help you through your difficult moments. You have to have the balls to cut them out of your life if they're constantly putting you down like that.

  • Shrug your shoulders and get on with it. Fug'em.

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  • Yeah I really hate this because I'm naturally skinny, I eat a lot just I don't get fat

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  • Keep working out?

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  • How skinny are you actually, dude?

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