(rant ahead) I can't help but feel so miserable?

heads up, this is going to be another 'im so lonely' rant, but i can't help it, sorry.
basically, i really feel so desperatly lonely that im starting to get weird thoughts. i live in this new country for almost 3 years, where i dont know many people. im an introverted person that can't approach girls at random. i recently started a new job and i was really counting on meeting somebody there (after reading so much about more then 50% of couples meeting at work), but turns out i only work with men over 40. of course im on most of the online dating sites, but since looks aren't in my favour, specially online, i almost never get texts back. once, or twice a year, when i do get a message back, during our convo, we agree to meet, and somehow until the date (AND I REALLY DONT KNOW HOW) i always mess things up. she stops talking to me, blocks me, whatever. im the type of person that when i feel a bit of a connection, even through texting, i really give it 'my all' and try to make it work. i make talking to her/tecting her a priority of mine! im honest from the very beginning, always tell her how i feel and what im thinking.. and i think that might be the problem. this last girl I've been talking to, who agreed to meet me, just randomly stopped talking to me. i always told her how happy i was to finally meet her in person, and maybe i might have said it a bit too much (hindsight 20/20), but thats because that was really how i was feeling! i was literally jumping for joy these last few days just thinking about meeting her, so of course im going to say it, thats just how i am. I don't know if thats why she decided to stop talking to me, but i wonder. :( after so many failled attempts, i dont know what the fuck i can do.. this really did hurt my feelings! i dont know to play the game, and i dont want to. i really dont want to change myself just to meet someone, but it feels like staying myself, won't help me at all.
sorry people, just needed to get this out there

by the way, any feedback is more then welcome


Most Helpful Girl

  • Right.

    Stop telling women how you feel and being so keen. If looks are not in your favour then you have to rely on your personality. You come across desperate if you give it your all. No one likes that. I can't speak for all women but I like mystery, I like men who show interest in a very subtle way like smiling, eye contact when you don't know them and when you get to know them they hold back a bit - just dropping in what they are thinking and feeling randomly. In the early stages no talking feelings just show interest by texting back - no more than 5 a day when you getting talking but otherwise leave it a few days then come back with something new.

    It is a pity because you seem like a nice guy.

    I moved away for a while too. The men who were interested were too shy to say anything. I left after 8 months for other reasons but didn't meet anyone like I expected to so I get what you mean.

    • wow, i guess i really must be doing it all wrong!
      thanks for taking the time to write this! i will take this into consideration in the future, although i doubt i'll be able to apply..
      thanks again:)

    • Hey next time you like someone or are emailing someone message me i will give you advice. I will be your dating coach :-)

    • haha! you know, i think it sucks that i need help regarding something like this lol but i really might take you up on that offer :D

What Girls Said 2

  • Maybe joining somesport club or smth will help u? I mean maybe u sounded too needy thats why she stopped talking to u most girls dont like guys like that actually , just be normal even if u r happy dont say it to her say it to ur mirror for example lol and dont be desperate u will find ur woman someday ^^ wish u the best !

    • sportsclub? ain't nobody got time for that lol
      but seriously, i wouldn't do anything that takes up free time that i have, JUST to meet girls, but i dont think there will be girls in the chess club!
      and im not desperate, at this point im just sad and disappointed with myself!
      and i dont get it, if im totally happy about meeting her, would it really be better to play it cool and say just 'ok' or so, and act like i really dont care? i just think if it was me i would love to hear her telling me that she's happy to meet me:S
      thanks for your wishes! someday, yeah haha

    • Show All
    • you are very much right!
      you know whats funny tho, 'the best is yet to come' is something i say A LOT to myself, and about some things i do!! but i never used that mentality when it comes to dating. i guess i really didn't think the best was yet to come xD but i def need to implement this quote into my dating life! hehe

      thanks again for your kind words!! i really do appreciate it! :)

    • Its my pleasure ^^ haha If u find a girl tell me i really want to know when u will haha ♡ Good luck :)

  • I totally understand.

    • lol!! did you even read the text? just curious

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