What if the statements of bitter people are actually true?

I am asking a second question about bitterness because another thing I was wondering is... people often say that bitter people blame everything else for their lack of success.

YET, what if it's the bitter truth? People tell us to take responsibility for our outcomes, but yet in dating they also often imply that our lack of success is based on luck (based on some people's anecdotes it definitely was).

So now I am confused. First of all, is dating based on luck and fate or is it something you take responsibility for its outcome? I am hearing many different voices here. Some say, that successful relationship finally just happened. Others say the only way you can hope is by actually doing all these things to be more attractive, etc.

Furthermore, again I feel like bitter people have often made statements that SEEM true. For example, the idea that society has no problems with a woman harshly and rudely telling a man that he's not good enough but if that happens in reverse, everyone calls him a douchebag. Or the idea that women have much less expected of them than men when it comes to getting into a relationship, and that also seems true. Sexual performance is one of them, and men are even getting dumped over that which they don't have much control over and are still trying in. Women do seem to be more likely to dump someone over the most trivial reason imaginable or be swayed by outside opinion. So even if she herself likes a man, there's still a chance that outside pressure will cause her to lose interest in him.

These are things supposedly bitter people say and aren't they true?

Updates:
Another example is when a guy said, "Women don't care about men's feelings so why should men care about women's?" Again, this one might not be entirely true, but I think it can greatly be verified. This does seem to be the general trend and hence the double standard where it's completely okay for women to tell us to our faces that were ugly.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well, I have a friend who is a bit disfigured due to FAS, and he is prone to bouts of bitterness. I have to say that I can't find much flaw with his logic. Sometimes bitterness is the result of a very profound sense of reality.

    However, his case is exceptional.

    I believe dating is a case mostly of trial and error. Granted there is some luck involved, but I think there is less than you believe, Asker. As you make more errors, you learn from them (if you're wise) and eventually make less errors. Successful relationships are very often the final result after a lot of heartache. Few people get it right the first time. My parents are a good example. My father dated exactly one woman his whole life, and I call her Mom. My dad was lucky. My mother on the other hand, dated many men, and even got married to someone who was not a good man for her at all. My mom learned and eventually married my dad.

    "society has no problems with a woman harshly and rudely telling a man that he's not good enough but if that happens in reverse, everyone calls him a douchebag."
    The overwhelming majority of women I've known who rejected men did not do so because "he's not good enough." They did so because he wasn't right for them. Besides, I can't agree that society, and in particular men, are all that down with what you said.

    "Or the idea that women have much less expected of them than men when it comes to getting into a relationship, and that also seems true"
    It does not seem true to me. What seems true is that both genders often think that their gender has it worse. I think both genders have a difficult time when it comes to dating.

    "Or the idea that women have much less expected of them than men when it comes to getting into a relationship, and that also seems true"
    How so? This doesn't seem true to me.

    "Sexual performance is one of them, and men are even getting dumped over that which they don't have much control over and are still trying in"
    Well, I admit there's a side of me that thinks that a woman could get away with just being hot and a man will still go back for more. However, being hot is a lot of work.

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    • "Women do seem to be more likely to dump someone over the most trivial reason imaginable or be swayed by outside opinion. So even if she herself likes a man, there's still a chance that outside pressure will cause her to lose interest in him. "
      I've never known even so much as one woman who has dumped a man who she likes due to outside opinion or on a whim.

      "Another example is when a guy said, 'Women don't care about men's feelings so why should men care about women's?'"
      Most women care about men's feelings. My wife cared about my feelings, my brother's feelings, my friend's feelings (and he had a crush on her), her father's feelings, her brother's feelings, and so on. The same is true of the women I've had relationships, my female friends, my mother, my sister, my mother-in-law, my sisters-in-law, my colleagues (and I work with a lot of women). Some men confuse rejection with not caring about his feelings, and is flat out wrong. Good women care about the feelings of the men they...

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    • As for the second question with the video, I agree there is very much a double standard there. It's worth noting that although people have a double standard in their reactions, men are more likely to physically abuse women than the other way around, and men are generally more capable of hurting women than the other way around.

    • Oh yeah, I'm sorry you did respond to the first one.

What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 1

  • "Women are _______"
    This fallacy is named " the sweeping generalization".

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    • I should have read your opinion before I posted mine. You said in a single sentence everything I intended to convey. Sigh...

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