Guys, Will he ever want to?

I have been with my partner for 3 years and living together for 1. Recently all his friends and mine have been settling down and so I am starting to feel like I am not what he wants as he hasn't asked me.

Recently he lost his father and he has had some major growing up to do. I don't want to force him to propose but I don't want to be his girlfriend forever either. I am 4 years older than him and I am feeling like he will just up and leave once I start to look old... I have had celebrities interested in me since we met (one from his favourite soccer team and he couldn't understand why the guy was interested and another is a bit of a fitness idol who I have known for a long time through modelling).

You would think he would want to nab me but he told me last night he doesn't want us to get serious. This has really hurt my feelings. We live together so I feel like I am just a girl he bangs and who does his laundry now. He has done some massive damage to our relationship. Like I said earlier I dont want to force him to propose but I will leave if he doesn't/ I need to know this is going somewhere.

Another reason he may be holding back is his mother hates me and because of this so do the majority of his family for which I have barely met (maybe a hello in passing)...

Is it doomed? Should I just leave?

  • Leave?
    80% (4)
  • Stay?
    20% (1)
And you are? I'm a GuyGirls can not vote on this poll


Most Helpful Guy

  • Just leave. He's already given you his answer when he said "he doesn't want us to get serious".

    • he says it is because he can't think of that right now since he had such an awful year...

    • Show All
    • Whatever happens, good luck.

    • thanks :( x

What Guys Said 4

  • Do not leave or stay, talk. Your not going to get any where by not communicating with him, he may be depressed which is adversley affecting your relationship and so that would prevent him from propsosing (then again maybe he doesn't want to get married) or perhaps he feels like he isn't in a good place to get married. Either way you need to talk to him earnestly but bluntly about what you want and what you hope to have with him. You also need to think about why you want him to marry you. Do you want to get married to him because you love him or because every one else is settling down and you want to as well? Its going to go both ways but you need to communicate with him before desciding anything.

    • As I am divorced I would never marry again unless it was with the person I want to be with forever.

    • Well thats good, some women just go for the guy thats there because the feel that the clock is ticking (which isn't fair to them or the guy in my opinion) However you still need to communicate with him, he sounds like he is depressed so that is obviously going to make him no want to propose, or do much of anything. So talk to him and see if you both can work through his depression first then see what comes after that.

  • There is always a solution to every problem. The thing is, leaving is the first thing that comes to people's minds because they don't know how to fix a problem in a relationship.

    I've been together with my woman for 10+ years and have got a daughter together. We are not officially married because of certain things in my life and im in a different situation.

    she's the type with a princess minset or peter pan syndrome and it took quite a while to show her the bonds that hold our relationship; and how a ring or paper is insignificant.

    We had a pretend wedding and I, in the future, plan to redo the wedding into a real one and propose again.

    The title "husband and wife" doesn't click with my senses. My take is that as long as I love her and she's with me in this journey, then thats all that matters.

    • I need the security. I am so good to him and he works away I just need the commitment. I don't want to marry for a few years, just to know he has the intention. But I guess last night he told me he doesn't have that intention.

  • I'd lean toward leaving. It seems he made it clear that he doesn't want to get serious. If that's the case, then don't waste any more of your precious time (and his). Tell him that since he said he doesn't want to get serious, you would like to find someone that will. This in no way is pressuring him to propose (well, maybe slightly, if he can catch your drift). Not to mention, if his family doesn't like you, then why spend time with people who don't like you? You would end up being miserable staying with him. I will also say that just because your friends and his friends have settled shouldn't mean you should feel pressured to settle, too. Each relationship is different.

    • He rarely sees his family just his mother who is spending more and more time away with the others...

      I challenged him about this at the weekend and he said he said this because he was in a bad mood. I must not forget he is still not as mature as he needs to be...

  • If you're thinking of leaving him for not giving you an over priced piece of jewelry then do it

    • Wow I am not that materialistic. it isn't about a ring its about the commitment. I already said that...