My girlfriend and I have been dating for 4 years now. She wants $1000 from me. Should I lend her $1000 (she will pay me back)?

She needs it to buy a car. She explained everything to me. I do trust her but when it comes to money it's tough for me cause i got burned in the past. I do trust her with everything. She said she would get the money back to me in 3 weeks.

Should i do this?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • No, you'll end up on Judge Judy or Rinder. One lesson that's taught me - NEVER LEND A LOT OF MONEY TO A girlfriend OR boyfriend.

    If she can give you the money in 3 weeks, then she should wait until then to buy the car. If she can't, then tough luck. How does she think other people manage without a boyfriend to lend them so much money?

    If you're not comfortable about lending it, then don't. It's a lot of money to lose out on if anything does go wrong (and trust me, they do). I'm sure you know that relationships can change very quickly. It's up to you though.

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    • I mean i do trust she will pay me back and the car is a good deal too. What i will do is write a promissory note

Most Helpful Guy

  • IF this was me, I would like to think that my girlfriend of 4yrs would be able to come up w/ $1000 by herself! More to your question, the very fact that you have phrased it that "She WANTS $1000 from me." Worries me a tad bit, you should if not already start doing research into how she actually spends her money on a daily, weekly and monthly basis to substantiate in LENDING (key phrase here) her a grand. Even then, I would go as far as to being a co-signer on a care so to cover your ass and know that your hard-earned money is actually being spent a on a legit working car and not a damn lemon that will end up at the local garage in 2 months of ownership. Trust is one thing but actions speak a whole lot more than words can.

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What Girls Said 19

  • I think you need to think about what would happen if you don't get the money back.

    I'm not saying your girlfriend won't pay you back. But this is just an in general thing to think about when you do lend money out. Don't expect to get it all back.

    However you two have been together for a long time. I think you are okay.

    It sucks to have someone basically use you for money (been there!) so I know what it must feel like. However, you can't paint her with the same brush as an ex who burned you.

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    • I do trust she will pay me back and the car is a good deal too. What i will do is write a promissory note and so that is kinda like a fair type of thing.

      Well this is actually my first relationship and honestly 4 years have been amazing.

  • If your relationship is good and has been good in general and you trust her on other things, I don't see why you should be suspicious of her.

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    • yes i do trust her, i will loan her the money

  • There is an old saying, "Never lend money to friends"
    But in the case of a girlfriend of four years, I think you will be fine.

    It would be a nice touch to your relationship and will cement your trust in each other, and help her out at the same time.

    If it helps, I've been with my boyfriend nearly the same time, if he asked me, I would do it with out hesitation.

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    • Ok thank you. I will loan it to her. I do trust her

  • You know her since 4 years so I think you'll be fine. Also, I don't know how much 1000$ are for you but generally it is not something that you're not gonna be able to earn back in a short amount of time so it's surely nothing that will make you go indebted.

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    • I mean i do trust she will pay me back and the car is a good deal too. What i will do is write a promissory note

    • That's a good idea :)

  • It's not like she's going to disappear, right? If u trust her u should help her out :)

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    • that's true, i will help her out

  • if she can get the money back in 3 weeks, why doesn't she just wait 3 weeks and buy it herself? im not really big on lending money. if i were you i would just act like i dont have it to lend

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    • it's a good deal for the car, i must say so myself. I can do like a "contract" with her but overall i trust her

  • I don't see why not if you absolutely trust her and know you'll be staying together a while

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    • yeah i will loan it to her.

  • If you won't invest 1k on an engagement ring for her after four years why would you invest 1k in a car for her?

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    • I gave her the money today. Lol don't talk about rings cause she brought it up 2 weeks ago... Next year the ring ;)

  • My husband ALWAYS gives me money. Even before we were married. He was actually the one who always kept asking me if i got enough money in my wallet and made sure i was never short. Very importent to me to have a man that takes care of me in every way. I always pay everything back because thats just me, but he wouldn't mind even if i would not. I feel like you are being very stingy. Your girlfriend of 4yrs is in need and you question helping her. Not very manly of you

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    • But ofc you might be short on money yourself so thats maybe why its a big deal for you. But its been 4yrs and you trust her, so you shouldn't even question it. I hope she is the trustworthy type of girl

    • Yeah that is true, i will loan her the cash

  • Omg how is this even a question?
    After 4 years you should help her out to get a new car without question or even pay it back coz the selfless acts that gentlemen do, whst benefits her benefits you

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    • Yeah i will give her the money.

  • If you trust her and she will pay you back then why do you need answers from strangers over the internet who know nothing about your relationship, if anyone should know the answer, it would be you lol

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  • I'd only ever give that much money to my spouse and I don't see him asking me for money. If you trust her then do what you feel is best.

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    • i gave her the money today. She's getting the car tomorrow

    • well hopefully everything works out for you both in the future.

    • yup thanks

  • dont do it!!! doing do ittttt... you better have paperwork and a contract just incase you have to take her to court

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    • well i mean it's not $20,000... but i will write up a promissory note.

    • Whatever works for you to keep you safe.

  • i think you should lend her the money IF you trust her. And 4 years in a relationship is a long time so i don't think she would wait 4 good years to get the money out of you. Do what you think is the best tho, u know your relationship better then anyone else.

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    • i will loan her the money i have decided. I trust her.

  • If you've been together for four years and you guys don't have any extreme financial troubles right now and no shady business, I say go for it. Don't let complications from way back affect you now. Trust is absolutely crucial to preserve a relationship.

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    • i will loan her the money i have decided. I trust her.

  • If you trust her then go for it.

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  • No you shouldn't pay her... she might not repay you

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  • You should lend it only if you have extra.

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  • Yeah. Let this be a test in the relationship

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    • i will loan it to her

    • Show All
    • I'm sure things will work out :)

    • yup :)

What Guys Said 24

  • "Trust is the prerequisite to deceit." - Hebrew proverb

    Then she should have no problem signing a "promissory note," and having it notarized before a notary public to make the document self-authenticating. Additionally, she should have no problem with language which entitles you to all reasonable costs and attorneys' fees in enforcing the terms of the promissory note, litigating in a trial or appellate court, or enforcing a money judgment and collecting upon a money judgment.

    Otherwise, good luck enforcing, and good luck collecting.

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    • sure i can do a promissory note with her!

    • I was just writing up a response saying he should get a promissory note, when I figured I should see if someone else suggested it already. So, yes, this.

  • My general rule of thumb is that you should not have sex with anyone you would not lend a $1000 to.
    She's your girlfriend of 4 years. She's not going anywhere. Lend her the money (with clearly defined terms of repayment in writing to keep thing clear.)

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    • yeah that is true, i think i will. We have a good trust.

  • Four years is quite a while. Personally, if it were me i'd just hand her the thousand dollars as long as I didn't expect my life to unravel if I didn't get it back. If I didn't get it back then I know what I need to know and it will have been $1000 well spent.

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  • I'd probably loan it to her. 3 weeks is a very nice turnaround. plus you've been dating her for four years so it doesn't seem like her plan was some long con to bilk you out of $1000.

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    • yup, i will prob loan it to her

    • I mean a $1000 is a tough pill to swallow, so I def understand your hesitancy if it's only slightly. hell I'd be slightly nervous about handing $1000 to my wife

  • You've been together for 4 years dude... She should at least have earned some if not most of your trust already and if she was only after your money, why would she wait 4 years for that and if she was really just after getting money from you, she would probably ask for something bigger than $1000

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  • she's your girlfriend so you should trust her. Unless you guys have been fighting lately and you suspect that she's going to ditch you and run off with the $1000.

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  • Yup loan her the money... Cause 4 years is a big time and you if those 4 years were great and you have no doubts about her or your relationship with her then three should be no problem...

    But just for your satisfaction make her sign a promissory note..

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  • I think so. You know better than any of us how trustworthy she is, and you'll get score some serious points in your commitment to the relationship.

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    • i would say i trust her enough

  • Think about, at least she hasn't stolen it.

    Think about her mental process and the loan in question... she needs $1000 to cover the car. $1000 is obviously going to be used with the amount she has to offer for it. Maybe it's a car she really wants, a car that is really worth the money and a steal, etc... so it's simply and innocent ask for money (i. e she isn't going to run away).

    How long have you together... that should further indicate the innocence.

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  • Never trust a woman with money
    my mom and sister have both did me dirty before
    I still love them but... dont do it

    God forbid you bring up the $1000 dollars in 3 weeks she will probably bitch at you for it

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    • Aw man that kinda sucks :/ well i do trust her and will get her a promissory note so i make sure i do get it back.

  • I don't think if she was a con artist she would wait 4 years to try to get money from you.

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  • It is better you buy the car in your name and give it to her. That way you can catch her if she tries to run away in a stolen car.

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    • i guess i could do that, overall i will so a promissory note

    • Promissory notes will cost you I think government fee registrar or the oath comissioners fee though little. But this way you can save on it as well and keep the car in case she is not able to pay back.

  • If she could pay you in three weeks she can wait three weeks, either way, no I wouldn't do this.

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  • If you're going to do it, write up loan agreement, have it signed and witnessed.

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  • If the relationship is sound then why not

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  • If she will have 1,000 dollars in 3 weeks why doesn't she just wait?

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    • it's a good deal i must say, i will write her a promissory note

  • She can just wait three weeks and get the car then. I don't smell good things around here.

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    • it's a good deal i must say, i will write her a promissory note

  • Just do it, you trust her and you've been together for 4 years. She'll pay it back.

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  • Is she meeting you half way?

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  • Yeah u said u trust her...

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  • No, you shouldn't lend her $1,000, you should give it to her. You are worried about a measly $1,000? Why aren't you giving her that much a week, or at least a month?

    When I was 42, I had a 18 year old girlfriend who was about to turn 19, a professional advertising model at that. I bought her a car for her birthday.

    If you are going to be a little boy, a man can steal your girlfriend.

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  • I never loan money to friends and loved ones. I'll give it as a gift if I'm so inclined, not expecting anything back. I'm baffled as to why she can't wait three weeks to get her car, when she knows she'll have the money.

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  • She is your girlfriend after all. As her boyfriend, shouldn't you have the obligation to help her resolve her problem, especially in terms of money?

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    • yup i will lend her

    • I think you should just give it to her

  • If she can get it in 3 weeks why doesn't she just wait 3 weeks and pay it by herself?😄

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