I really don't know how to make long-term decisions and it's affecting my relationships?

I am the kind of person that is very indecisive and skeptical about everything I do. All throughout highschool I dated guy KNOWING that it wasn't going to go anywhere, I just knew that I wanted to have fun and be dating someone. When I entered college, I dated a guy for about a year, got bored with him and felt like I didn't want to be with him forever so I broke up with him. Then I dated another guy for almost 2 years, then I broke up with him because he moved away and I knew there was no way I could do a long-distant relationship. For a while after that I was single and just kind of seeing guys for fun and to hang out, then I met my most recent ex whom I was with for another 2 years. After the year and a half mark I broke up with him, even though I really loved him, just because I wasn't sure if I wanted to be with him forever. We got back together and then I broke up with him again just recently (about 5 days ago) because of the same reason. At first I couldn't even believe that I did it because I truly loved him, but my doubts got the best of me and I did it. Now I am kind of glad I did it because I'm already wanting to see what else is out there and maybe date other guys, nothing serious. I'm 22, and people always tell me I'm too young to be worried about "settling down", but I am just afraid that these habits of mine will never quit. I'm still wondering if I made a mistake by letting my most recent ex go, but I can't overcome my thoughts that he may not be the one for me forever. My fear is that I will always have the doubts in my mind no matter who I date, and I will eventually end up losing every potential parter and end up single and dating forever. I just want to change this aspect of myself. I want to be able to see a good relationship for what it is, and appreciate and keep it. Has anyone ever had this problem before? I guess I'm afraid of committment? I don't know.


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What Guys Said 1

  • "Then I dated another guy for almost 2 years, then I broke up with him because he moved away and I knew there was no way I could do a long-distant relationship."

    ^wot makes u avoid LDR then?

    "After the year and a half mark I broke up with him, even though I really loved him, just because I wasn't sure if I wanted to be with him forever. We got back together and then I broke up with him again just recently (about 5 days ago) because of the same reason. "

    ^so i just assume either u don't wanna be wid just one guy fora long time... or u r afraid it'll lead to a doomed relationship anyway...

    "Now I am kind of glad I did it because I'm already wanting to see what else is out there and maybe date other guys, nothing serious. I'm 22, and people always tell me I'm too young to be worried about "settling down", but I am just afraid that these habits of mine will never quit."

    ^well u r still young indeed... but if u r afraid about it... then personally i believe u should've stayed wid yer X u broke-up recently better...

    "I'm still wondering if I made a mistake by letting my most recent ex go, but I can't overcome my thoughts that he may not be the one for me forever. "

    ^as i said above... i believe it was a mistake... since u got back together again i believe it was a good sign in my opinion... :)

    "I just want to change this aspect of myself. I want to be able to see a good relationship for what it is, and appreciate and keep it. "

    ^i believe as long as u don't have lots of bad signs when u r in a relationship... then u shouldn't worry much... ;)

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