Do guys grow to like girls?

You know how you see movies and television shows and they portray a guy who has an interest in a girl to be all starry eyed and slightly obsessed with the girl and wanting her so badly and doing anything to get her, from the very second he meets her?

Is it like that in reality too or not? Or do girls typically grow on a guy? Like does it take time for a guy and a girl to start liking each other? Because my crush knows I like him and he said he's willing to spend time with me, but he's never acted like boys in TV and movies. He's never done the whole "I want you and I'll stop at nothing to get you."(But then again we barely know each other so, is that to be expeced?) he just being mature? The closest thing I've ever gotten to a compliment from him is him telling his friend I'm cute.

Is my crush just being mature and this is how reality is or should I be expecting him to act all head over heels like TV/movie guys.


Most Helpful Guy

  • The "rule" is that guys either fall in love almost immediately (generally, the first time he spends a bit of time with the girl), or never does. There's usually no in-between.

    Obviously, with any "rule" there will be exceptions, but these are fairly rare. Guys generally do not "grow" to love girls the way many girls grow to love guys - guys usually fall for a girl quickly, or not at all.

    Now, having said this, there ARE times when it takes a guy a while to find the courage to TAKE ACTION on his feelings, or, if he's just recently been hurt or in a bad relationship, to open himself up again, but that's not really the same thing.

    Another thing different between men and women - men do not fall in love due to having sex with a girl, while girls often (perhaps usually) fall in love with guys they have sex with, even if they were only "friends" to start with.

    For these reasons, it's important that women understand this, and don't set themselves up with unrealistic expectations.

    • What about in my situatuon? We don't know each other at all. We've never spent time alone together

    • Show All
    • @iamyourneighbor

    • I was giving you a general answer to your question. Because you haven't spent any real time talking or interacting with this guy, it's too early to know how he feels about you. Normally, if the guy falls for you, he'll start to feel it after his first good conversation with you, though depending on the guy and the situation, he could be in denial, or afraid of those feelings, or lack the courage to act upon them. But HE'LL know that he feels something, and usually his behavior will change a bit as a result.

      @iamyourneighbor the answer to your question is simply: some guys like a challenge, especially the player-types. It gives them something to conquer, and a sense of accomplishment when they do so.


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What Guys Said 4

  • I would NOT get your knowledge of boys and girls from television. That is for entertainment only. (And usually bad entertainment at that.)

    I would suggest that sometimes it is "instant attraction." Sometimes it is not. Sometimes it does take time.

    My advice is:

    "Guard your heart" in every situation.
    "Take your time" to get to know one another.
    "Focus on what is next for YOU" in your life.
    "Find your path" and then look and see if anyone else is on it.

    Love is an action not a word. It is something that you do again and again...

    • Like it almost feels like he's so chill that he's being passive. But a mutual friend has told me two things about this guy

      "He is very idle and he's bad at managing women."

      Based on these things do you think his chill attitude is to be expected?

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    • He's supposedly shy and antisocial

    • So let me ask you a question... do you want a man that thinks you are the greatest thing EVER and is willing to do whatever it takes to show it?

      He can do that while being shy, that isn't a problem... But when he does NOTHING that should tell you SOMETHING!

      So yes, tell me. What is your ideal man. What do you want in him?

  • Lol, the reason he has never done the whole "I love you and will do anything to get you" is many girls find that SUPER creepy. It sounds like he is also a little shy and doesn't know if you like him back.

    As for love at first sight, not really love, but attraction definitely. Although men do seem to develope feelings for women faster than women for men, in my experience.

    • His friend told him I liked him

    • Then yes he is acting mature. Have you tried talking to him, or txting? It sounds like he is attracted to you.

  • Yeah that's my experience. There are instances where I'll be just awestruck by a girl right off the bat but usually it takes time for a girl to grow on me. Most of the girls I developed a crush on were of the latter type. My feelings just gradually got stronger and stronger.

    Whether your crush is the same way, I can't say.

  • It sounds like he's being mature, and that you should not expect him to act all head over heels like TV/movie guys. Nonetheless, that doesn't mean that you won't grow on him.

    • Is it actually a good thing he's not acting like men of the media? Like what he's doing is NORMAL based on the fact that we don't know each other?

    • Like it almost feels like he's so chill that he's being passive. But a mutual friend has told me two things about this guy

      "He is very idle and he's bad at managing women."

      Based on these things do you think his chill attitude is to be expected?

    • I don't know whether it's a good thing if he's not acting like men of the media because only you can determine what is good or not when considering how you want him to pursue you. But he is acting normal in the sense that most men take it easy with a lady after just meeting her, to comfort her; being head over heels may scare a lady away. And if his friend says he's idle and bad at managing women, then his chill attitude seems to be expected.

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