Why Do I Ruin Love For Myself? NEED ADVICE?

I am struggling to find love in my life. I lost a lot of confidence 5 years ago since I was diagnosed with a life long auto immune illness which caused me to gain a lot of weight and for a good couple of years I hardly left the house. I had gone from a pretty, confident party girl to a quiet and meek overweight girl. Thankfully I have become more sociable over the last couple of years (though not nearly what I was like before I became ill!) Anyway I've had a hard time finding any love since before I was ill. For a long time I though it was because I was overweight and now no longer attractive etc but a week ago I noticed something. Basically there's a guy I've had the hots for at my local bar and haven't spoken him to until recently and he asked (through fb) if I wanted to join him and his friends at the pub and being actually quite flirty. I was so suprised that i made up an excuse and said I couldn't (as you do!!), he then didn't message me back again :( and a few nights a go when I was last there I saw him and his friends and he said a quick hello and went back to his table. The whole night I could see he kept looking over at me and even my friends noticed, and of course I was too afraid to even look at him in the eye (but of course stared when his back was turned). My friends said If I want to get to know him in anyway I'm going to have to make a move as I look like I'm completely blanking him and not at all interested - HOW DO I DO THAT? What if I stumble of my words and make no sense and a fool of myself or he completely rejects me and I'm humiliated. I don't know what to do and need some advice as I really like this guy!!! And I feel like I've completely blown it all:( but I'm also scared that if I do something he might reject me..


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What Guys Said 1

  • I don't think you are ruining love for yourself. In fact, I think you could be on the brink of it and your lack of self confidence is keeping you from it. It sounds like he likes you, so you should enjoy that. All you have to do is go up to him and his friends in the pub to show him you're making an effort. The rest will take care of itself. Best of luck to you! :)

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