I need help for a book I'm writing. Its a unique & complicated situation. is this too much to ask or should I figure it out on my own?

the both are in a group on an extremely dangerous mission to save the human race from extinction and she has had a crush on him for years and he is the only person not to notice. the only reason she went on the mission was to get close to him. but she ends up breaking her leg and the rest of the group decide it would be best to leave her at a safe point where she can heal & she thinks she'll never never see the guy again because he might die so she gives him a tearful confession of her feelings for him & the guy is caught offguard, basically friendzoning her. then a situation happens where 1 guy from their group disappears & her crush and someone else got to find him. they leave one guy to stay and make sure nothing happens to the girl. then the 'teleport' to the alien city where the 1 guy is. it takes 1 hour to find him & get back but on earth it was 3 months (because science fiction) & when they get back she's all healed and mad @ her crush for promising he'd be back real quick. the guy who stayed behind to look after her helped her recover & then some. she's stronger, tougher, leaner, & more stubborn than ever. her crush takes notice & thinks the change doesn't suit her. when he confronts her about it (in a subtle way, he's a sweet guy) she thought she was useless for the mission & says “It means that timid girl that’s been following you like a lovesick puppy over half of her life isn’t going to be around anymore, so get used to that, because I am not going back to that pathetic excuse of a Human.”
but when they get chance to be alone she apologizes saying she still has feelings for him but she has to focus on the mission at hand.

“Well, to be honest I’ve had the fantasy that you would open up just the same. But in retrospect it sounds stupid as hell.”
“It’s not the stupidest thing in the world." he admitted.

this is where im stuck. i have no idea what either might say after that and i just need a general idea of what that might be.
sorry for the long read.


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What Guys Said 1

  • If you're stuck try a different path.

    Instead of the last dialogue, have them share a genuinely tender moment. Maybe he thought about her while he was away, saw something that reminded him of her. He realized he had been too harsh and hasty. He knew time was passing quickly for her and that she might be concerned.

    I think you need to make her a stronger character from the start. Include more strength from her. Personally I can't see someone who says those things being chosen for an important mission.

    Good luck. :)

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    • well i couldn't go more in depth in this post but the guy had no idea about the time shift until he got back. but the whole time he was gone she thought that it would be up to her and the other guys that stayed behind to complete the mission and save the ENTIRE human race ( which in this book is about 10,000 people) that kind of stress kept building up until the rest of the group returned. a lot of the weight has been taken off her shoulders but she's still in that mindset of 'complete the mission at all costs'. Does that make sense? but thank you for your advice i'll try going a tender route and see if it works.

    • Yeah that makes sense.

      Try out a different approach (whether tender or not) and see if you get unstuck. The only other thing I'll say is to not include "stupid" in that dialogue. Good luck, man.

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