Is the first rejection the hardest? Feel like it's made me stronger?

I told this girl I had feelings for her but due to complex reasons whilst we were friends and found eachother attractive, it's not gonna be my day.

But I've sort of put my feelings to one side and I'm happy to remain friends. I did like her quite a bit and the rejection made me realise this.

But I also feel like I've grown. Because I felt so shit for 2 days and I was in a pretty bad way, of course she didn't know this, I know feel able to 'get out there more'. If a girl says no next time or gives me a negative response, it's never gonna hurt as bad as this but it can only be better.

Advice to anyone out there is go out and get what you want and if someone doesn't want you, there's always someone ready to take their place. Doing nothing is a coward's way ouy.

Anyway, was wondering if the first rejection is the hardest?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I had a bad first time rejection but it happened again and I was like oh whatever. The reason is that it made me sit back and analyze every little detail of the person in focus and realized that that it was for the best. Sometimes when you are infatuated or crushing on a person you miss out some alarming red flags and its when you are no longer in that place , you can look at it from a third person's perspective. I will tell you one thing though the first rejection may not be the last but hopefully you would get to see it as an eye opener rather than the end of the world. All the best

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Typically, yes. There will be times, however, when a woman rejects you in such a horrible way that it will hurt all over again, but it gets MUCH easier. Anymore I don't even bat an eye, and why not? Because there are billions of other women on this planet. Don't let yourself get hung up dwelling on the one that didn't like you and start focusing on finding the one that does.

    There will be many women that are basically just like the one that just rejected you. Don't sweat it and continue doing what you do. You'll figure it out with trial and error.

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What Girls Said 9

  • It's always a shock cause you picture yourself with this person and in your mind they like you. So then hearing the truth is always hard. Mine didn't suck so much, yeah it hurt but I got past it. The thing that hurt for me the most was the first time a guy dumped me.
    But for sure, the first time will always be harder because you don't know how to handle those sorts of feelings but with time you'll know how to deal with it and it will hurt a lot less.

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  • not necessarily the hardest, don't underestimate life
    how much sucks it depends on hum much you like/want the person and how much you got in deep with them
    but it sure make you learn and grow as a person
    but it's true that every love is sort of different

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  • Rejection sucks period but the first one definitely stings. It's probably because it's your first time putting yourself out there and all the anticipation is nerve wrecking. But as you said it's best to put it out there so you know if they feel the same way or not. Always hope for the best but expect the worst. Glad you got something from the experience.

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  • Eh. My first rejection didn't suck all that much. :/

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  • yes when i got rejected i felt the same. happy we ramained friends and felt like shit and felt like i have grown up. i changed like complely i dont even remember how i was before... its weird -.-"

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  • rejections are easy heart breaks those ones are hard

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  • Yup, it is always the hardest.

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  • Yes it's hard but u learn from it and you slowly build a defense mechanism.

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  • It usually is.

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What Guys Said 18

  • The best thing to do is get a summer job that involves a lot of professional rejection, that makes dealing with personal rejection way easier.

    Seriously, I worked sales and new client acquisition for my office over the summer and you will not believe how many times you get rejected.

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  • Rejection sucks, but after a while you get used to it to some extent. The more rejections and types of rejections you get, the quicker you rebound so keep on keepin on. After a while you begin to convince yourself it's a positive thing... or you just crack and give up lol.

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  • Son, you have more guts than lots of people that I know. From personal experience, rejection hurts more the longer you are with someone. When a girl turns me away after a few dates its feels like a pinch on the arm compared to how I felt when my ex-wife with whom I was for 7 years, that knew me more than anybody else in the world, said : I don't love you anymore. Rejection will always hurt, its up to you to decide if you want to use it as an excuse to give up on life, or as a way, like you said, to grow. Keep your chin up. You're gonna fine brother.

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  • I wouldn't say the first rejection, but the first is a special one. But i guess the feelings generally aren't as deep with your first love, it's mostly just infatuation. Later on when you are a bit more mature, and you truly fall in love, have plans of building up a future and all. that'll hurt big time like, your world is destroyed, your social life, work, family, all of it won't matter at that moment. This may sound a bit dramatic and not everyone goes through this, but if you do, it's gonna be painful. I haven't gone through it yet though?

    And then of course a divorce in on a whole other level.

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  • Ugh I remember mine... didn't help we were drunk. She kissed a guy and I got up to walk away she followed after me telling me to say or she'd follow me. I said I couldn't that I can't watch her kiss another guy. She put her hand on my shoulder "why?"
    "Because I think I'm in love with you."
    We just ended up arguing and making out over the next two years... was a bad rejection since it wasn't a relationship and she won since she got to keep my attention. Made me realize I could do better than be some hot girls "anchor"

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    • you made out but nothing more?

    • Show All
    • but she didn't want anything more, just male attention so she was a tease?

    • I could of pushed for more but she was always looking for Mr. Right. I listed over her and she knew it... I hope she finds happiness some day. An emotional hot mess tease who I believe actually did like me but together we were volatile

  • No, the hardest rejections are the ones that come after you have invested a lot of time into the relationship. Date a person for a year and get dumped -- that's a tough rejection.

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  • Thats true. I can't deny it. Im in that situation before so i approve of this 👌🏼
    I than realize WOW! What a fool i am! Its not as hard as i think it was until i do it myself. What a miracle!

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  • I think both genders handle rejection differently, and each human in general handles rejection differently. As for the first rejection, typically, it can be hard. But that's only because you've never stepped out and asked someone before.

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  • Nope each one sucked about the same for me. The best way to get over it is to move on quickly and not get stuck wondering why it happened to you. Move on. If you are lucky enough to stay friends then best for you. If not, well then, move on.

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  • The second was the hardest for me. Ja ja

    It broke me for a couple months, but maybe that was a good thing 'cause I could reflect on what I wanted and why. If was hard, but I feel like I've grown as a person after the fact.

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  • i guess so

    when the first girlfriend i had in grade 8 broke up with me. We danced once to usher song confessions. then after that she broke up with me.

    every time i heard that song, i always felt bad.

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  • it's an inevitablity... people need to get with the human programme. provided it's not rude/harsh, meh...

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  • You're on the right way dood 👍
    (Maybe grown even faster than I do)

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  • I feel like generally it might sting less but I feel like it's numbing oneself to the sting. more like hardening the heart rather than it hurting less just because.

    To put it simply, our sensitivity to the pain goes down but so does the positive experience as well.

    If I can glide though the social scene without feeling much of a sting with rejection then I must be dead inside.

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  • Rejection is painful I weaker every time I get rejected

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  • I think it depends on the person and how much of a connection that is felt.

    I've had crushes that have stung as of 10 years ago. Not so much because of lack of interest, but hurtful stuff that they (or others) did reacting to it.

    For others, it's easy. They do it enough, or they're successful enough at getting a yes (even if it doesn't last), that they don't have a problem asking.

    I ask, because as a guy, it's expected.

    I've had friends who have told me they wouldn't have taken the types of rejections as well as I've taken them.

    The first time asking, and the first time getting rejected was hard because I put a bit of effort into it. I practiced for hours on how to do it. What to say, etc. But I'd say recent rejections have been pretty difficult at times. Again, this is more because they didn't just say "no" but most have gone for an attack. They get REAL personal. I wouldn't say each time has been more difficult than the one proceeding it - some have been easier just because of other factors. And those have been in with the tougher ones.

    I'd say over all it's gotten slowly more and more difficult over all, partly because of outlook, experience, etc.

    Some don't have that, so they can ask, and each time it gets easier for them. I not like that, but I know those people exist (or they're all lying and trying to put on a phony overly brave face).

    I'll do it, so asking is slightly easier in some ways, but it's still hard to get rejected constantly.

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  • When you really like someone it always sucks, I don't think it gets easier. To an extent you build the muscle that copes with the rejection but it's pretty heavy when you actually like someone.

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