This guy I've been dating for 2 months just started pulling back. The last time we talked was last Tuesday and I don't want to get in touch with him because I feel me iniating makes me look desperate. Things were going great until two weeks ago when he wasn't really responding to me but he said his workload has doubled and he just started remodeling his house that he recently bought. Which is understandable people do get busy but I feel that's every guys excuse. But the thing that confuses me is if he's not interested why is it that when I texted him on Tuesday he responded instantly and kept the conversation going for a little bit and actually the week before that I had messaged him and he again replied instantly. I'm not planning on messaging him, I'm waiting for him to reach out but his birthday is coming up in 3 weeks and I was thinking if he didn't reach out to me by then I was thinking of just shooting a quick 'Happy birthday' text to him.
Now, is he pulling back or is he busy or is he not interested at all? Is there anyway I can get his interest back or is done?
Most Helpful Guy
Well if he's same age as you he shouldn't be playing mind games its childish. No one is that busy for 10days or whatever. It only takes seconds to send a text. You don't sound desperate its not as if you're texting him 3x a day, I bet he's waiting for you to text again. Just ask him if he's ok & can you help in any way?0
Most Helpful Girl
If he is pulling away, let him go. You can have a conversation about it. You can share your observation about the change in his behaviour. You can ask questions in a way that makes it safe for him to explore the reasons for the change. You can express your love for him.
But you can't make him love you. And love does not try to control the other. Love requires choice. So in letting him go, you are also loving yourself. You deserve to be loved by someone who freely chooses you not as the result of being manipulated by fear, obligation, or guilt.
Love him enough to respect his choice and yourself enough to be chosen by him or another who will do so freely.