Is the Starting off as friends and turning into a relationship idea lost in today's world?

It seems like with how fast paced the world is today, almost all relationships start off with physicall attraction and move on to friendship. And it seems like being friends with somebody first and having it become a relationship is falling to the side; which is sad because those tend to be the relationships that are the most successful and last the longest. I think this has a lot to do with the fact that everything in the first world today is so fast paced that if you try and take that direction, it's never going to work because we expect everything to be upfront and immediate.

Do you think that being friends first is falling to the wayside?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm not too sure because I know people who started out as friends and then it developed into more. However for me all my ex's were guys I started dating from the start. Like we'd meet and instantly start the dating process. The reason behind this is that I can tell within minutes of meeting someone whether there is attraction or a spark. So naturally if I feel wow this guy is really doing it for me then I'll want to pursue him and won't be able to just settle with friendships as I'm too scared of him thinking I'm only interested in friendship and losing interest.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Yeah, it hardly works these days. You have the dreaded, artificially created 'friendzone' to blame for that.

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    • The friend zone just means that the female is not physically attracted to you, or they are not interested in binding their lives to you.

      I'm pretty sure you wouldn't want to date ANYONE and EVERYONE on the planet either.

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    • Please argue with each other through private messages from now on. I do not like getting an update every time one of you continues this argument.

    • @Asker
      It's not an argument, just a healthy discussion. And I suppose it''s very much relevant to your question. Anyway, since you are getting annoyed, I'll stop right here. After all, this is YOUR question. So yeah, off I go! :P

What Girls Said 2

  • Lost completely
    Now everyone dreads the friendzone

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    • Maybe it's because whoever is the "friend" doesn't understand that this is the way it is, for the time being. They think it's a forever thing perhaps. And maybe they don't quite understand that it leaves doors open to other things.

  • I hope not. That's how I would like to start off a relationship. I'm not really into the whole dating scene so starting off as friends would be so much better.

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What Guys Said 2

  • It works only if both sides are mutually interested in one another beyond friendship, choosing to want to be with one another exclusively in a romantic relationship arrangement.

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    • And in that case, they would likely start dating immediately, unless they are 16 and have never dated anyone.

  • It's not falling to the wayside. It never used to happen decades ago. In my parents day, close platonic opposite sex friendships would have been shockingly rare. Dating was much more obvious.

    In my great grandparents day, courting existed, not dating.

    As for what you're seeing, I don't think anything has changed in the last 15 years or so. What you are likely seeing is your own peers giving up on 'friendship first'.

    It happens sometimes, it happens most often when you're 16 and never dated anyone and are interested in a friend, and it's a terrible dating approach going forward as an adult. Not because it never works, but because it rarely works, and it's far too slow to invest the time before finding you can't even get a first date.

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