How can I stop doubting him?

i live in japan and im in a relationship with a swiss guy and he lives in his country. last time i visited him, it was on February this year, i saw tinder on his phone. He told me he was curious about the app and was about to delete it. i understood it and had no problem at all. then when he visited me on this July i saw the app on his phone again. i asked, he admitted and said, he was just bored. im 22 and he is 20, i understand he is young, curious about everything. and i dont want to go so strict on what he does, or what he is interested in. and i understand that he was bored because even during his stay here i have work, which means he is basically alone most of the day. But it was the 3rd day since he got here, i honestly have no idea how he could end up to a hook up app. we had a conversation and he gave an apologize and promissed that i was just one silly mistake. he is back in switzerland and now i can't stop thinking about it for the past 3 months. i can't trust him even when he is with me, and how can i trust him in distance? I am in a serious trouble here, im competely going insane. am i just overreactiong?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Long distance relationship is always dangerous dudette!
    I have seen cases where wife sleeps with neighbors or coworkers while his naive hardworking husband is away for 6 months thinking that everything is fine.

    I am not saying that it always happens. But when partners are physically bot available whenever they want.. they hookup with someone else.

    I don't want to make you feel terrible. Sorry.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You're not overreacting, I would be seriously concerned too, especially since Tinder is a dating/hookup app. I would just be honest but gentle about it. Let him know that he's crossing a boundary with you and it makes you uncomfortable that he has a dating app on his phone and it is causing you to doubt the relationship. If he can't understand that then he isn't mature enough to be in a committed relationship.

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What Guys Said 3

  • If you two are in an exclusive relationship then I get your concern. This is one of the difficulties of a ldr especially when the couple is split on opposite sides of the globe and you are so young and you only see each other a few times a year. I just don't think its a reasonable expectation to set for a relationship.

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    • we've been together (not physically of course) for over 2 years now, I've never felt this serious on a relationship before and i love him a lot. its just, i hate myself thinking negative whenever i think about him

  • No you are not. Perhaps this LDR is not for you.

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  • Id say take a deep breath. Most guys and gals are only on tinder to look at the pictures not so much dating. 2. Tinder for him his most likely a fall back thing if every thing just hits the fan, as in the relationship falls apart

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What Girls Said 1

  • you're not overreacting.

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