How long does it take for the average to say "I love you"?

I hear some people say it took their partner a year, some half a year, and I've even heard people say among 3 months... How long would you say it takes the average couple to ACTUALLY mean it?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • problem is you cannot put that kind of label on love. Your in love when your in love. Your under 18, you have no idea what true love is. In reality, most people will not know, truly, what "true love" is for years after they actually find it. Until then your going on what your perception of love is. In young people, that is much more often lust, not love. So many will say "I love you" way too soon and before they truly are. Not everyone, but most.
    If you are truly in love, you can never "not" love that person. If you can ever imagine something happening where you could say "I no longer love you", then you never truly loved that person. Certainly the WAY you love that person can change dramatically. for instance, you might be in love, then that person cheats on you, now you want nothing to do with that person. If you really loved them then you still love them but what they did makes it too painful to be with them.
    in my opinion anyway...

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Most Helpful Girl

  • ... I've been with my boyfriend for a few months short of 2 years. Neither of us have said it yet. :(

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    • girl. it is time u do then

      try saying it to him (if u feel it of course nd are sure of it).

      If he doesn't say it back or isn't able to, time to move on. Im sorry but thats how it is.

    • I know I know... whenever that comes up with my friends, they ask why I haven't said it first and decided to wait for him. Of course I'm holding back because I'm scared he won't say it back or will reply with one of those cop-outs like that he loves me, but is not IN love with me. Which I also know that if that's the case, best to know sooner than later so I can get out.
      For now though, I'll choose to live in ignorant bliss. :P

What Guys Said 22

  • When we started dating, it took me 2 weeks to tell my now ex-wife I loved her. I dont regret saying it that soon. People are always afraid to say I love you to someone but will claim their love for coffee or tv show in an instant. You can call it other names if you want or pretend its not there, but in my book, its allright to love someone at first sight.

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  • I wait until we are past the honeymoon period. If I still feel strongly about her, then I love her. A couple of weeks/months maybe?

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    • this is a good idea except the average honeymoon phase of a new relationship lasts 2 1/2 years.

    • @Jager66 There are no rules. So I guess it's when I feel like it's not just lust anymore. Damn, a 2 1/2 year long honeymoon sounds awesome !

    • yeah no rules for sure. That is the average length, obviously each couple/person will be different.

  • 3-6 months is what I would consider normal.

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  • Depends on who he's saying it to :)

    How long do you think it would take me to say, "I love you," to my girlfriend who is a wealthy, top model, nymphomaniac who grows her own pot and owns her own brewery?

    How long do you think it would take me to say, "I love you," to my girlfriend who keeps trying to coax the words out of me?

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  • I don't think there is an average time to say I love you. Some people can say it within months, some years. But personally I think about year is enough time to know each other well, to know you can trust each other and to say and mean, I love you.

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  • About a year I dated a girl slept with her and got into an argument with her and I tried to calm her down "relax I don't want you to be mad, I love you."
    She looked at me like I said "fuck you."
    Ever since then I told her "I really are about you" and she said "I are about you too."
    Guess some woman don't like to hear it til they know it's concrete fully commited one year relationship.

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  • I would say around 4-6 months. I really like to get to know the person and not just say it out of lust! To me those three words mean something, so I don't say it unless I mean it!

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  • About 3 month until you first say it. However it's more like a few years until you first realize that you really mean it.

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    • And not to be misunderstood, I thought I already meant it after 3 months, but you only realize later that there is more to it.

  • A month at least. I wanna see the pro's and the con's as much as I can before saying the "I'm giving you my entire world" word.

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  • 2 and 3/4ths of a month for me

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  • It only took me and my ex -girlfriend a few days to week afterwards to say we loved each other.

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  • With my wife it took me like a week. It was one of those things where everything just clicked. We were friends before that but then yeah a week into dating I told her.

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  • I can say it 3 times in 4 seconds.

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  • There is no time frame for that. Depends on the people involved

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  • Dunno. Took me about six months of dating I think.

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  • I wait until after she says it first.

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  • 6 months.

    if the girl says it in less than a month, then she is plotting something.

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  • i won't ever say it again. took me years the last time and she left immediately after

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  • 6 months, the love dont raise in short time.

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  • There is no avg. it comes when it comes. I wouldn't say it any sooner than 2 weeks though. That's too soon. If it's 10 years, that's too long

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  • It doesn't matter to me. Neither of us has ever said it, but we know it because of how we treat each other.

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  • 1 month would be good.

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What Girls Said 16

  • Still waiting to hear it after almost 8 months. I'm pretty sure he does, but it would be nice to hear it.

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  • I've never had a boyfriend, and I've never really talked to someone long enough to develop feelings that deeply for them. However more recently I may have said those words to someone... after 8ish months of talking with them.

    But I was also drunk and stupid so. Sober me wouldn't have said it.

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  • Really depends on the relationship, plus if you feel like you fell in love on the 4th date you don't really want to spook your SO 3-6 months sounds about right. Besides actions speak louder than words...

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  • Approximately 2.5 weeks in my experience.

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  • A week with one boyfriend, months with another. There is no answer for this. We are not all the boys in the world.

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  • haha I can tell u around 1 or 2 weeks happens too

    For me it was around 3-4 weeks i think... depends on the people, the situation and how well they get along I guess.

    It is not possible to put a time frame on it.

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  • He looked deep into my eyes and told me "That ass is fat" and I knew... I freaking knew he loved me. Took him about a day didn't see him afterwards but I know my love is out there and he loves me as much as I love him. <3

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  • There is no calculation for that. İt just happens.

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  • I wish I could give you a good answer but the truth is everyone is different.

    I've been with my boyfriend for 4 months. We haven't said I love you.

    I was with my ex for only a month and he said he loved me first.

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  • I dunno what average is. I knew I was going to marry my husband after about two weeks of dating. Other guys it took longer to feel strongly.

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  • 2 months in and he'd told me he's in love with me.. Took me a little longer I think 6 months.

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  • 6 months norm

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  • I've been with my boyfriend for 2.5 years and we've never said it but our actions do

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  • When they mean it unless you mean it. Don't say it unless you do. Say what you feel.

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  • I too would like to know.

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  • it takes way more than 3 months to fall in love.

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