Guys, Guys: What does it mean when a guy tells you he doesn't want to ruin anything or lose me?

Ok here is the back story to my question. I have known a guy for 8 mons and thought we had great chemistry, we even have a ton if not most in common, so 4 mons ago I told him I liked him and he gave me a neutral answer so I took it as a no and went on no big deal. About 2 mons after that he told me he was talking to a girl but didn't really know what he wanted to do about her. He never gave me much detail but he seemed interested. As time went on I would every now and then ask and he would still say I don't know, I'm still figuring it out. I would then encourage him on about it. About a month ago I got a somewhat dirty text from him and he immediately aplogized. I thought nothing of it, but then he started to some what ask how it would make me feel if he kept on. I entertained him because I still had strong feelings for him and he took it one up by asking if he wanted to "see" him. I said I don't know, I thought you were into the girl and he still told me he wasn't sure about her. I continued to respond hesitantly, but he said I don't want to ruin anything between us, I love our strong bond, and yeah I've liked you too, but I don't want to lose you. We still end up meeting up and fooling around, no sex though because I wasn't ready and felt something would happen, he was a perfect gentleman and backed off but afterward he just kept saying I really don't want to mess things up and lose you. The way he said it was like he really did care and was being sincere about it. I told him I wasn't going anywhere and I ment it. The next day during conversation he told me he picked her. I calmly told him I was hurt and felt used for a cop a feel, he kept aplogizing over and over with panic. I'm still his friend but warned with caution. Why did he tell me all that, do what we did, only to pick her? Is there fear, am I plan b or did he chicken out on a chance with me? Much appreciated


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Most Helpful Guy

  • "so 4 mons ago I told him I liked him and he gave me a neutral answer so I took it as a no and went on no big deal. "

    ^he could be hidin his true feelings though u know...

    "About 2 mons after that he told me he was talking to a girl but didn't really know what he wanted to do about her. He never gave me much detail but he seemed interested. "

    ^if he's talkin about other gals to u...

    either he's seein u just as a friend... or he's tryin to make u jelly... ;)

    "I would then encourage him on about it. About a month ago I got a somewhat dirty text from him and he immediately aplogized. "

    ^hmmmmm... he might've been drunk when he sent dis text keep in mind... ;)

    " I entertained him because I still had strong feelings for him and he took it one up by asking if he wanted to "see" him. I said I don't know, I thought you were into the girl and he still told me he wasn't sure about her. "

    ^hmmm... i see... so now he's inbetween... either u or her... ;)

    " We still end up meeting up and fooling around, no sex though because I wasn't ready and felt something would happen, he was a perfect gentleman and backed off but afterward he just kept saying I really don't want to mess things up and lose you. "

    ^i'd say then... he's MORE into u than her... i'd put it like 85%-15%... he's still considerin about her... yet u r his primary choice... :)

    " The next day during conversation he told me he picked her. I calmly told him I was hurt and felt used for a cop a feel, he kept aplogizing over and over with panic. "

    ^oh... there must've been a reason y he chose her... and if he really considers u as a friend at least... i believe he'd tell u da reason y he did it... :)

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    • Oh thank you so much for your response. This was very helpful to me. He said it was the conversation she and him had, one they never had before. I didn't press for more information and I'm ok with it and him. I was just dumbstruck as to why he chose immediately after our date. We still act as though nothing happened and I guess if things still go well he might come back but I assume chances would be slim. Either way i'm not holding my breath lol. Thank you so much again.

    • u r welcome... :)

      ya i believe chances r less now... although never say never...

      but it'd be better to move on instead of prayin for him to come back... ;)

What Guys Said 1

  • is too much to read.______________.

    maybe he don't see you like a woman but u can work to change that

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    • Sorry I just wanted to explain it well, I forgot guys want just the facts not a story, but thank you for your response!

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