How to date intellectually equal girls?

My dating experience is kind of unsatisfying. I rarely meet girls I can intellectually connect to. Places where I meet people with common interests are often around 90 % guys.
Girls often do not have an opinion on / are not that concerned about things I like to discuss. They are often not able to follow a chain of arguments because they lack knowledge or ability to connect the dots. In my experience girls prefer to talk about meaningless stuff like series, celebrities, fashion, gossip... etc -that seems to be their main focus of interest. They are usually not as informed about technology, politics, economy as I am.

In my experience girls in science are different. They are not that concerned about their looks - they got other qualities and they stick out just by the fact of being a girl. They are mostly able to follow arguments, question things and have their own opinion.
I am wondering whether these girls are attracted by fashionable guys, who hit the gym every day - or if they, like me, look for an intellectually equal partner. The numbers are against my odds anyway, so they can be quite picky if they like.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I've met many intelligent women, but maybe I just hang out with more women than you do. Another thing to consider is that science and math aren't the only avenues for expressing intellect. Be a little open-minded. I've spoken to people majoring in literature, history, sociology, etc. who are also rather intelligent, knowledgeable people. Just because someone isn't well-versed in physical chemistry and linear algebra, it doesn't mean they're less intelligent.

    In any case, I'm a girl in science and I've dated different types of guys. My current boyfriend in a nutshell - keeps in shape, is a gentlemen, very caring, outgoing, thoughtful, and quite smart. He's more into art and writing than science, but he still listens to me talk about my experiments, ideas, and I like explaining my work to him.

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    • I do think there is an equal number of gifted guys and girls to begin with. Maybe guys are more ambitious so they use their abilities more often.
      I am convinced that a career in science / STEM strongly correlates with intelligence - unlike in other areas it is hard to fake stuff. There is a lot of people from my high school class who would not be able to do a career in science. But I do think most people who went into science can also succeed elsewhere.
      I am interested in history and I like to talk about it. History is more about facts and knowledge. I think I could understand a lot more from history then a history guy could understand from what I am doing.
      The most fullfilling relationship I had was with a girl in the same major. She could understand everything we were talking about, nevertheless we could also talk about society history etc...

Most Helpful Guy

  • Join a club at school

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    • It's not about the number - it's more about the quality... At places which correspond to my interest the girl ratio is usually low -but I want to find a partner who fits to me.
      I dance, did debating - there I meet a lot of girls - but most are just boring

    • Yes clubs at school... so you want to meet a more intelligent breed of woman? Girls are surprisingly intelligent but they hide a lot of it. I would stay away from bars or perhaps go to more expensive places.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 6

  • I think you are going to the wrong places if all the girls you meat are like that.

    If girls prefer not to talk about heat exchangers and combustion engines in their spare time itdoesn't mean they're dumb. If you want to talk about those stuff just talk to your buddies.

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    • Yes, but I would love to talk to my SO about things that really interest and concern me. Our society is strongly influenced by technological process. I think it is great that people invent things and we are not living on trees anymore.
      However there are people who do not even have a basic understanding of what is going on around them. It feels like they are just like a chimp in a zoo -controlled by what is happening around them, but no insight into it. No ambition/ability to change or influence things.
      I am totally okay with somebody living in the forest, having no clue about any technology/politics/economy. -For me it would be unsatisfying if I wouldn't have a clue about why things happen.

  • Attraction is important in any relationship but I would wager that they're also looking for their intellectual equals because that's what I (as an engineer) look for.

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    • Yeah that is also my thinking - and I would like to be with an engineer again... point is there are not that many female engineers :/

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    • I always think after thousands of years of cultural development some might have reached the point where they are more attracted by the mind of another person than by their appearance or physical strength, which is more like animals... or humans thousands of years ago.
      I am not fat and I also don't want my woman to be fat. But otherwise I do not really care about what a girl wears -and I prefer those who do not use make up. I do not care about fashion/brands -because it is like just following others without really thinking on your own.

    • Sapiosexuality is not common. The physical will always matter. Deal with it.

      It might matter less to some, but it matters a fair bit to me.

  • You seem to be quite full of yourself right about now.
    To address your last paragraph, girls who are intellectual and smart are also looking for their equal.

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  • Because a lot of girls, including myself don't really give a shit about politics , technology and other boring stuff like that. Just because some aren't into that doesn't mean they aren't smart. You sound full of yourself, which could be the reason you can't find anyone

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    • Being into politics and PlayStation means you're intellectual Kris 🙈

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    • Yeah... but the question is: Why do you not give a shit about politics, technology and stuff like that? Is it above your level of understanding?
      Are you not interested / concerned about what is happening around you? What will happen in the future? How will the world look like in 10, 20 ,30 years?
      It is of course easier to just live from one day to another - but also kind of unsatisfying. You do not understand or influence anything what's going on around you.

    • I'm just not interested or concerned. We are all gonna die one day anyways. I live life with no cares at all.

  • I'm a science girl and I also like to see fashionable guys. However for a relationship, I think women who are smart would love a guy smarter than him or equal. and usually, a guy who boasts around is a turn off. Anyway, I disagree that women who likes to talk about girly stuffs are not smart (although that topic bored me to death), but I think it's about different interests.

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  • I dont believe it. Go to the law section of the library.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Let's find out. 😘

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