The way my boyfriends talks he makes me feel stupid?

He's really smart and I just feel very... stupid. How to stop?


Most Helpful Guy

  • So he isn't actually doing anything to make you feel stupid its just that you feel like your stupid when your with him? If thats the case then keep in mind its not something that just is. Do you feel weak when someone is stronger then you? Slow when someone is faster? Does it bother you when someone is a better cook then you? The fact is you get to a certain point because of training. If he is smart its because he refined his mind through reading and thinking. It would be no more logical to feel bad that a proffesional athlete is better then you at there respective field then it is to feel bad about your boyfriend being "smarter". There are things your gonig to be good at and things you will not. If you train hard enough you can get better at them, if you don't you won't. He trained his mind and if you feel "stupid" in comparison then its only because he put in so much more time then you did. Its not an insult, I don't feel bad when a muscle bound guy is stronger then me because I know he spent hours every day training to get to that point, he earned it. Just as you have earned what ever skills you excel at. I would consider myself intelligent, I have read and studied and trained my brain to think in a certain way. While others where doing other things I was training (essentially) that is why I got to that point. But that doesn't mean that I am omnipetent.(as you can see I am a terrible speller for one thing). I am great at almost every subject, except math. I cannot do math for the life of me. Or business. I also am not good at art (I have the brain for it I think I just haven't dedicated the years it takes to develop the skill) I cannot run for the life of me either, nor am I particularly good at sports. So the problem would then be not that he is better then you because he is smart or that you are stupid but rather you have merely focused your time on other attributes (their is nothing wrong with that). If you really want to feel smarter then talk to him. If he really is as intelligent as you implie then listen to him and learn from him. His knowledge will become your knowledge and by extention you will gain from his experience. It will also make him love you (more) because you will be taking an interest in his interest. There is nothing to be concerned about. There is always some one who is better at something then we are, so the only thing to worry about is stagnation of thought and of our selves. Hope that helps.

    • Wow. Thanks for such a thoughtful answer. Very well said

    • Show All
    • It's too early to show up maybe. Give it some time. Maybe the star will show up in a while.

    • @R3d_Anonymous ok. Will do

Most Helpful Girl

  • Don't compare yourself to him. He is dating you for a reason. And everyone knows more than another person on different topics


What Guys Said 3

  • Everyone is smart in different topics. You're not stupid, just different. Talking less can keep you from sounding stupid if that's a problem but I don't think you should worry.

  • Maybe you should think about getting a PhD in aerospace engineering?

    I couldn't tell you how many times I've been told, "You are the smartest person I have ever met!". And they are correct. (trust me, your boyfriend is not as smart as I am)

    There are two sides, what he is doing and how you are feeling.

    I can intimidate the average person very easily by my intelligence, but I usually dumb down the conversation. My dad had a talk with me when I was 15, that I should do that, and he was right. Is he talking above your head on purpose or because he doesn't know how not to? If he is doing it on purpose, then that is a problem.

    The other side is if you are insecure. I have been told, "I feel stupid around you." with no intention on my part; there is a limit to how dumbed down I can go. You can either leave him, or admire and learn from him. If you don't understand something, then ask him to explain it. What does "curved space mean?"

    Communicate. Tell him how you feel and why. If he doesn't know he is doing it, he might change his approach. Some people want other people to feel inferior around them, and you will have to see if that is the case.

    i will say one other thing, when I dumb down a conversation, I tend to get pretty quiet. People will sometimes mistake silence for detachment or ignorance, when really I just don't want to offend them by making them feel stupid. I will let people get away with saying things that are incorrect if it makes them feel better.

  • What's his IQ

    • I don't know. I'm talking about the way she speaks

What Girls Said 1

  • stop comparing yourself to him!