What would you do if you realized that your crush was using you as an ego boost?

Why do people do this? Especially when they can tell you like them? If they don’t feel the same why put you through all that? Are they insecure?

This is the third time this happens to me. Each time it gets harder to open up to someone new...


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think this happens fairly often. It stings a little at first, but knowledge is everything. They think they got you nailed, but there are times when you cam play around with the situation and rebuild your confidence and even work on some relationship skills.

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    • Finding out someone doesn't like you back stings. Finding out they're using me to boost their self esteem pisses me off. Sadly for me I can't bring myself to ruin their self esteem or hurt them back.

    • Wow you are pissed aren't ya. Well, I wouldn't usually go for messing with their self esteem or trying to hurt them, but i'd damn sure work on confusing the hell out of them. You know what's going on, you have the upper hand go create havoc!!

Most Helpful Girl

  • Future Lessons learned from the past that was not a blast here, Dear: Don't wear your heart on your sleeve in case they may leave.
    Feel them out more before you may find out what their motive in mind is. Many of today's toms may be doing this as just another Addition to the Other things at the top of their list such as growing cold duck feet in running back into their murky water as in Realizing there may be A... Commitment.
    Good luck. xx

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    • Thank you, sweetie, for the vote of confidence. xx

    • Thank you for your words of wisdom ^_^

    • Oh, so welcome, use this anytime, sweetie. xxoo

What Guys Said 11

  • I'd break up with them immediately. I can't date somebody who is using me solely because they have poor self esteem.

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  • You are too kind or let them know too soon you are interested. Take your time next time. Let them chase you a bit.

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    • I'm too kind. But I'm far from being a pushover.

  • This is why it's critical to have multiple options in dating and not focus on one person until you're in an exclusive relationship.

    Check out myTake on scarcity: www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a22231-scarcity-fundamental-setback-in-dating

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  • happened to me like 2 weeks ago, i stopped talking to her, she messaged me today and invited me to dinner...

    I don't know why people play with others emotions!

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    • It's annoying and desperate. I'd rather be flat out rejected. At least then I wouldn't be wasting my time -.-

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    • I least you'd give her another chance. I hope she does :)
      I simply couldn't.

    • i dont blame you lol
      thanks for thee luck!

  • The reason why people use us to boost their self esteem
    is just so they can feel better about things or they use us as a replacement
    to they either go back with their ex or find another partner to be in a relationship with.

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  • I'd go about destroying their ego, if I can boost it I can diminish it.

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  • dump her like a bag o dirt

    ALIEN POWER

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  • I would do that. It's an excellent topic to brag about.

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  • move on dear!

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  • he is your crush... let him to use you as an ego boost

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    • Why? Lol

    • If he doesn't like me. I'd rather he just tell me instead of using me to nurse his ego. He's no longer my crush anyways.

    • I don't like this word "crush" and I was just kidding. Of course you should break up with him if he doesn't love you

  • It's happened to me a few times. I would get to know a girl, we would flirt, and then, suddenly, she'd blindside me with the information that she had a boyfriend who she'd been dating for two years. What I did about it was pull away from them and re-evaluate my interactions with girls. I realized that I was allowing myself to get used and that it was killing my desire to ever be close to girls.

    So I stopped messing with girls for a while and got myself in the best shape of my life and improved my self-confidence and esteem. Now, girls don't play with me, they want to date me. It took a lot of work on my part to realize that I was too eager to compliment girls and give them things without getting anything back.

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What Girls Said 13

  • Show interest in getting closer, but keep romantic feelings ambiguous. Flirt, but don't declare, be nice, but draw your lines and don't make him into your priority. Hang out, don't push anything. Be normal and let him come to you.

    When you're aggressive with guys, this usually happens and the guy that was "playing" you may as well have been interested at first, but you killed it with desperation.

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  • It happens to me every time I like a guy... He likes the attention and i fall inlove.. I have made peace with the fact that I will never find love

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    • That's not true. You will!

  • Kick him down a few pegs with the truth. And leave.

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  • i know this already, this is why I compliment him and make him feel special, to boost his ego. He had a bad time of it over the last 18 months, I think he deserves a little ego boost.

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  • I would kick his balls. :D

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  • Crush his self esteem.

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  • I would bash his face in

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  • Just walk away.

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  • I would walk away from that situation

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  • What did he do? And how do you know?

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  • I wish i knew. This one guy I liked used me to make his ex girlfriend jealous. We were acquaintances and she knew I liked him. They started to date because she asked him out. I guess she must have told him I liked him because he knew. He didn't like me but he wanted to make her feel jealous so he pretended to. That hurt worse than when I found out they were dating.

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    • That sucks. He sounds like a awful person :/

  • Because they are pathetic, insecure, and pathetic. I was in your situation and I just left the guy. It was a major turn off.

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    • I just did that too. It's irritating and a huge waste of time and emotions -.-

    • Exactly! That's not really someone you want to be with. People like them have the tendency to be a narcissist and being in a relationship with them isn't a good idea. Oh and they're desperate. You go girl!

  • I am sorry to hear thag but I have done that. I'm guilty, I know.

    I have self-esteem issues.

    But the guys I have done that haven't beem any nice with other girls. Most of the time are "bad boys" so I don't feel bad.

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    • Okay then... I just wondered why they do it instead of just being honest. Thanks for the insight.

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