I am not sure what category to put this in and I can't believe I am asking social media for an opinion. But I am 22 years old and my husband is 29. I work as a secreatry at an office and he works as an analyst also in an office. Here is the problem: My husband went out for lunch with ONE female coworker (whom he introduced me to). He did not hide it, and he told the truth in advanced just to let me know the plans (but it ticks me off knowing he went with one female coworker alone) He claims it was just a way to socialise in the office and he claims he was just being friendly and it meant nothing and that two other men in his branch could not make it, plus the woman is happily married with 2 kids from with her "highschool sweetheart" and he only had lunch with her alone once, the rest of the times where for social gatherings in the workplace in groups or just lunch meetings. He DOES NOT know it bothers me but it does and i dont want to seem immature.. Now the majority of people in MY office are female and all my supervisors are female as well. Same with his company, majority are females and his bosses are females. I myself grab coffee with other females in my workplace simply because I AM A FEMALE. The age range of females in my husbands department are from late 30s-60s with 3 men also working as analysts. The female he went out for lunch with is probably around his age. I've been married for about a year now and I just did not like that he went for lunch with that female he could have simply called me and made plans with his wife instead of that slag! and I did go to a divorce office just to see some options. Is it really okay that he did this or im I just blowing things out of poorportion? Is it harmless that he agreed for lunch? Any feedback would help me at ease.
Most Helpful Guy
You need to take a hard look at this relationship. That is a lot of mistrust and anger to have. He didn't hide it from you, and it is a pretty common thing to go out for lunch with co-workers. The fact that you actually started looking at divorce options for something like this, where he was open and honest about something that seems to be completely innocent, is a huge red flag for the stability of the marriage.
Yes, I would say it's really ok that he did it, and that you are blowing things out of proportion. I think that it is harmless that he agreed to the lunch.
I think it is not ok that you are looking at 'options' because of this. And I do not see the marriage lasting though actual hard times if this kind of thing is that large of an issue for you. There seems to be some real fundamental trust issues under there, or self-esteem issues, or something... something is clearly clouding the issue in a way that could be very detrimental to the relationship over the long-term.0
Most Helpful Girl
You have to get over it.3